<p>Okay, here’s what I came up with: I’m taking the dogs to see the canine masseur/chiropractor. DH thinks this is idiotic and ridiculous. I think the man has magic hands, and my dogs love him. </p>
<p>Oh, and four pounds of Sumo Mandarin oranges at Whole Foods. At $4/pound, that’s a luxury.</p>
<p>Well, sounds like you found your perfect splurge. Enjoy! </p>
<p>Dog massages. Perfect!!! ;)</p>
<p>Absolutely perfect! Something you love and he thinks is unneccesary! </p>
<p>I am not (nor is anyone in my immediate family) interested in motorcycles. But in general large purchases should be discussed. HOWEVER, I do what I cal angst shopping.</p>
<p>Kid getting married? I shop.
All Ellebud’s kids graduation…I shopped
Waiting for doctor’s reports…boy did I shop
Wedding parties here…shopping a plenty</p>
<p>Going on an airplane? no shopping…medication…and then shopping.</p>
<p>That being said, it is always necessary to discuss what each family considers major purchase</p>
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<p>Wives probably divorced them for any number of reasons and the guys like to use the guitar complaints as an excuse. Easier to handle the rejection that way. </p>
<p>OPs quote to her DH has some negativity to it because motorcycles are notoriously dangerous? I do not understand. Admittedly I have not looked up motorcycle fatalities lately, but I grew up with a neurologist parent; motorcycle horror stories are part of the fiber of my being.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.ghsa.org/html/publications/spotlight/motorcycle2012.html”>http://www.ghsa.org/html/publications/spotlight/motorcycle2012.html</a></p>
<p>It does not looks like things are getting better. </p>
<p>My husband recently bought his third motorcycle. He had one or two before, he knew I worried about his safety, and having to wipe his butt, and he finally sold it when we had kittle kids. Also, it fell on him and he couldn’t get it off without help from a stranger. She offered to call me. </p>
<p>Now we and our kids are older, I am more accepting of taking care of him, and he got another one, but smaller. That helps a little. </p>
<p>Oh, and he would love it if I spent more freely, so that would not be revenge. </p>
<p>I was complaining because H insists on repairing his turbo coupe t-bird instead of getting a new car, but I am going to be grateful it isn’t something else.</p>
<p>It scares me when people I care about ride two-wheeled vehicles in our city. The drivers are too dangerous and our traffic is too heavy and roads way too narrow. My internist rides a motorcycle–so far he’s still in one piece, but it spooks me!</p>
<p>I’m sorry, I would offer a suggestion but I can’t stop thinking about getting a man with magic hands… :D/ </p>
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<p>Some of them, yes as was pointed out by the more senior and some happily married forum members. </p>
<p>Others found they were ill-suited to their first marriage partners, divorced, and found happiness with a much more supportive affirming partner who is of the mind “if it makes you happy and doesn’t break the family bank, go for it.” </p>
<p>One interesting thing about reading through those threads is seeing the contrasts between the happily married with spouses supportive of their pastime…including those who had previous ex-es who hated their guitar pastime, those who felt constrained/trapped in marriages where they feel the need to conceal their guitar pastime, a smaller group who are bitter about marriage in general, single folks giving their take, and more senior members who try to keep the discussion reasonable.</p>
<p>DMD-
I agree with the person who suggested you buy take out more insurance on him. The splurge gift should be for you. Nice to take care of the doggies too, but treat yourself to more than oranges. Buy the whole darned tree!</p>
<p>My husband is fond of things with motors (cars, motorcycles) and fond of things with two wheels (bicycles, motorcycles). He likes his adrenaline. His insurance is more than adequate (thanks for worrying). </p>
<p>I’m intrigued by the whole question that is raised on being supportive as opposed to being tolerant. I’m not stopping my husband from riding his motorcycle (although I did ask a lot of questions about safety equipment)–but I’m not going with him. There are some who think I would be more supportive if I went with him, and there are those who think I should veto it entirely. I’m not sure vetoing is possible with an adult. Do I say “I’ll get divorced if you get a motorcycle?” That wouldn’t be true, for one thing, and for another thing, that’s pretty heavy artillery to use on a decision like this. I went with “what safety gear do you have?” instead. To my mind, that’s pretty close to being supportive, and it’s tolerant at the least. </p>
<p>So how supportive does a “good wife/husband” have to be? Should I be saying “go for it!” no matter what? (Some seem to say this.) Or should I be stating my concerns and attempting to have a conversation about those concerns?</p>
<p>As for the “revenge shopping”–I do hope most people saw the attempt at making humor from anger and frustration. I did find something other than dog chiropractic that met my standards, but I just can’t bring myself to actually buy it: <a href=“https://www.jcrew.com/womens_special_shops/JCrewcashmere/PRDOVR~06636/06636.jsp”>https://www.jcrew.com/womens_special_shops/JCrewcashmere/PRDOVR~06636/06636.jsp</a></p>
<p>I mean, really, who pays $1200 for a bathrobe?</p>
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<p>Some or ONE who is not and never has been married?</p>
<p>Holy crap! The best part is that robe was sold out in all but one size. </p>
<p>Don’t forget the monogram. Its only an extra $10</p>
<p>I prefer not to have to worry about how to launder a bathrobe. It would be a curse to me if I was gifted with a bathrobe like this. In HI, it needs to be laundered as it picks up molds and other lung irritants otherwise. Give me a cotton robe any day!</p>
<p>It is tough for me to be supportive of any hobby I feel is dangerous, not because of the skill of my loved one but the others on the road. HI is awful for anything on two wheels. I applaud you that you and your H have an accord on this. Hope your roadways are safer than ours. </p>
<p>I would get a 2 seater convertible.</p>