<p>Took daughter shopping and what to buy roommates for Christmas came up. D said don’t really want to buy them anything-maybe some b***h spray. Had to ask what’s up. (Sorry THUMPER1) Anyhow- this is what they want to tell me face to face via skype-her roommates feel I invaded their privacy and used their apt. as a “crash pad.” The one girl wanted to take a shower but was uncomfortable doing that with me there. For me to change my clothing there was something none of their mother’s would ever do. Informed D that their rule for parents is they can only drop something off at the apt. and then they have to leave. Parents are not allowed to sit down. Turns out they have been picking apart a lot of things my daughter does. Example-D had a glass of wine with dessert (she is of legal age and I have no problem with it) on Sunday night and they could not believe she would do that and kept ragging on her about it (they all have booze in their rooms and they are underage). She told them TOO BAD! Lots of nit picking going on.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear they’re behaving this way. Sounds like a change of roommates is in order.</p>
<p>Wow. Just wow.</p>
<p>What is their problem with D having a glass of wine? I seriously can’t figure that one out.</p>
<p>There doesn’t have to be a specific problem. It’s bullying, pure and simple.</p>
<p>If the situation is accurately portrayed, and accurately conveyed to Mom, then it’s time for your D to look for alternate living arrangements. Otherwise, it’s best to just get over this ‘crash pad’ incident and move on.</p>
<p>Ugh. D1 went through this last year, plus her roommates were complete pigs. (Never picked up - there was a bowl of leftover cereal with milk that sat around for weeks). </p>
<p>Unless she can sublease to one of their friends, it’s going to be a long spring semester. </p>
<p>Is this a campus-owned or private apartment? If the former, she might have better luck signing over these pathetic creatures to an unsuspecting girl, as there are always people coming back from semesters abroad.</p>
<p>I will pay for the b***h spray. </p>
<p>These girls sound horrid. </p>
<p>I would encourage my kid to look for a new place to live - easier said then done, I know.</p>
<p>You were there two hours!
I’ve been let in & waited for my D in the living room at both her house that she shared with 3 other people & her apartment that she shared with one, while she wasn’t even there!
That behavior is much more common than the neurotic girls in OPs scenario.
That is just bizarre.
Telling parents they can drop something but then they have
to leave?
They sound spoiled & selfish.
I do have a question though.
They live off campus but your daughter still shares a bedroom?
Are they really amazingly large?</p>
<p>How hospitable- parents can not sit down. Yuck. While I do realize that many college kids are somehow embarrassed that they have parents, since they themselves are so cool, and we parents are not, they should reserve this sentiment for their own parents. Some people like their parents.</p>
<p>In grad school I shared an apartment with another woman. We were right out of undergrad, so both 22. Her mom came to visit, stayed the weekend (in roommates room), used the shower, etc. etc. So what. She saved money on a hotel room. Two days was not too many. </p>
<p>A two hour stay does not constitute use as a crashpad. No boyfriends or other guests stay overnight? Just because the roommates want to talk or b*ch, doesn’t mean you or your daughter need to do so. Your D should stick up for herself.</p>
<p>Is this just a parent rule? Because the next time their boyfriends are over, your daughter should make sure THEY know they aren’t allowed to sit down.</p>
<p>I’m bored. Where is this place? I’d like to stop in for a visit.</p>
<p>It’s an on-campus apartment and the shared bedrooms are surprisingly big. The rule only applies to parents. I know all need to move on but I am really glad my daughter can vent to me.</p>
<p>I feel sorry for these girls’ future husbands, in-laws, etc. Seriously, people have to learn to bend a little more than what their rigid upbringings have demonstrated to them. Ugh. So frustrating! But a good life lesson for your daughter, on how really weird and so different people and their expectations can be!</p>
<p>freqflyr, you said before that your D has known these girls for 2 years previously. I’m guessing now, if she hadn’t lived with them during that time, she may never have seen this side of them.</p>
<p>I really hope their parents aren’t paying a dime for their education, since that’s the only way a kid could ever come close to justifying this “no parents” rule. But I suspect it’s not the case. They just sound spoiled.</p>
<p>Good thing your D recognizes it, too.</p>
<p>They don’t sound “spoiled” to me in the usual sense. They sound like bullies, plain and simple. </p>
<p>My D would tell them what they can do with their rules. Geez, what a bunch of creeps. We shall see one of them on Bridezilla someday, ordering everyone around (including the spineless groom) since it’s “her day,” or on Big Brother bossing everyone around.</p>
<p>At this point, I would probably welcome the skype because someone needs to stand up to them. It doesn’t have to be done in a *****y, confrontational way, but calmly, authoritatively, and firmly. “I appreciate hearing your perspective. However, as I am paying 25% of the rent, my daughter will have her choice of short term daytime guests just the same as the three of you currently do. Period. In the future we will give you some notice in the event you need to shower, pregame, or dress appropriately before I arrive. Anything else?”</p>
<p>Just for argument’s sake (I know many felt strongly they would not be willing to skype with the girls), what would YOU say in a skype of this nature?</p>
<p>This is so odd. I feel bad for you and your D OP. What kind of world is it when a parent can’t be in the apartment when your child is gone. And to want to Skype! </p>
<p>My D’s roommates parents came and stayed overnight one time when their D was studying abroad. D thought it was odd but they were paying a bunch of money for a room no one was staying in and they saved money on a hotel room. D didn’t feel very comfortable so she decided to stay at a friends. Her choice and she wouldn’t dream of saying anything to either the roommate or the parents. </p>
<p>D’s boyfriend’s parents always stay with him in his shared house. I’m know there at time he is still at work when they get there. No big deal, the parents are welcome they are family and treat his housemates nice.</p>
<p>The whole situation is odd. Maybe some space for the Thanksgiving holiday will help. </p>
<p>Agreed, if your daughter feels uncomfortable, find new lodging for the next academic year.</p>
<p>If it is an on campus apartment, is there a chance she could apply for a change in lodging for the next term?</p>
<p>The roommates sound more like jail cellmates with the way they seem to be bullying orders to your D. Im curious though what the square footage of the apartment is. The space must be confining enough for everyone to get on each other’s nerves.</p>
<p>I certainly hope that D has decided against the Christmas presents for the roommates. I think it would be sending the wrong message. I would gently urge her to begin to cut ties.</p>