<p>When I got married 23 years ago, I had an ivory ballgown with a bow at the waist in back. Guess what my MIL wore? An ivory ballgown with a bow at the waist in back. Yes she had seen my gown.</p>
<p>Oh, zmom–I don’t know if laughter is the appropriate response, but laugh I did. I’ll ask you the same question I asked somemom: how has your relationship with your MIL been?</p>
<p>She never liked me. She actually was a cold woman who only cared for one of her children – not my husband – and didn’t enjoy being a grandmother. I worked very hard to do the right thing and treat her in a way that would make my mother proud. She was fond of telling me that the only real grandchildren are your daughter’s children. Never in 20 years invited us to her home for a meal or a holiday and never accepted an invitation to mine. When I was 30 weeks pregnant with D2 I started bleeding and couldn’t reach my husband. I asked her to drive me two blocks to the doctor and she refused. I almost lost the baby as a result of having to walk. At the end of her life it drove her nuts that I paid her co-payments and drove her to chemo, but the last time we saw each other she told me that she knew she had done wrong by me and was sorry because I didn’t deserve it. I got the last word, literally, though. I wrote her obituary and I don’t think she would have been pleased.</p>
<p>laughing again. (but just at the end of your post—horrified before that)</p>
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<p>I have. But I think that B&W or black–not white, you aren’t supposed to compete with the bride-- is okay for a black tie evening wedding to which women will be wearing cocktail dresses.</p>
<p>My late MIL was mightily ticked off because my mother told me she was going to wear linen to my garden wedding, then wore voile instead. I don’t know what MIL’s problem was…she looked perfectly nice. It’s bizarre what people will hold grudges about.</p>
<p>My goodness, zoos. That completely puts any gripes I had about my MIL in the shade!</p>
<p>Somemom, if I didn’t know better I’d swear we had the same MIL. We too had dusty rose and she showed up with a gown, more expensive than my dress, that would rival Lilly Pulitzer in terms of loudness of colors! Ah well. I cried (I was young, what can I say) – I hadn’t yet grown to understand you can only embarrass yourself in this world.</p>
<p>RE: post #263 - <em>BIGGEST</em> hi-five to zoosermom!</p>
<p>My mother-in-law wore bubblegum pink, it was not particuarly flattering (she was large), but it didn’t bother me particularly. Zoos, so sorry about your mil, I know you’ve told horror stories about her before. Interesting that she felt the need to apologize at the end.</p>
<p>Bubblegum pink! Oh my.</p>
<p>I always use my relationship with my MIL to show my girls that if you do the right thing, you can expect the outcome to be acceptable most of the time.</p>
<p>One thing that I’m ashamed to say was bridezilla ish on my part was: H’s only living grandparent was a widow and had a “gentleman friend.”. I had planned to have her walk down the aisle with another male family member who was in the wedding party and at the last minute she wanted her friend to escort her. I sulked bc he had a yellow sportcoat on. I’m now ashamed that I even thought like that–she was an old lady, her friend made her happy and no one really cared that his jacket didn’t match, kwim?</p>
<p>zoosermom, you’re a much better human being than I am. Thank you for the example.</p>
<p>Ha, not really. My mother’s respect was always important to me, so I was careful but it wasn’t always from my heart to my MIL.</p>
<p>I will also say that I got satisfaction from writing the obituary. I was very honest and I knew that my MIL would have hated it. She put on a public figure as the warm Italian mother/grandmother, while ignoring her family in reality. She cared about her sisters and her friends, that’s it. So I wrote in her obituary how she liked to spend time with her sisters and friends and never mentioned her kids. Which would not have made her happy, but it was absolutely true.</p>
<p>Much nicer than what you could have written.</p>
<p>"Mrs XXXXXXXXX, a life-long, cold-hearted, selfish b#tch succumbed to cancer…</p>
<p>As you would expect ;)</p>
<p>It’s always all about her and she brought a lot of pain into our lives until we learned to distance ourselves. I do encourage my kids to aim to find a great guy with a great family. I adore my DH, but his family has brought a huge amount of stress and pain to our family, dysfunctional doesn’t go away it and even if you cut ties you are dealing with a spouse who may be emotionally ‘damaged’ or traumatized.</p>
<p>The ‘good’ news is she became seriously disabled when my kids were little and she is not so bad to deal with, though the damage is done, there is no longer any manipulation from her, just from FIL ;)</p>
<p>ZM, they say revenge is best served cold!! You rock.</p>
<p>My in laws actually adore me, I, like ZooserMom, do as my mother taught me and am eminently wonderful to them. My mother has recently told me stories of things MIL did to her back in the day and my respect for my mother grows. Opposite of ZM, my in laws want to be completely involved in our lives, ask horribly nosy questions (sexual position question from FIL:eek:) and just want to know way more than they should. I have the best revenge in that I share lots of info with them, but only what I want to share and they think they know my kids, but they only know about us what I tell them. My kids will NEVER be manipulated by them, my kids don’t care what the in laws opinion is and are not affected by their constant judgments the way my DH still is. My kids are polite and kind, but not emotionally attached, they see their Dad’s pain and they are respectful of their elders, but do not respect the in laws.</p>
<p>So, my revenge is not allowing them any power over me or my kids yet doing it with all the graciousness and politeness and civility in the world so there can be no complaints of neglect (though anything we do is never enough, we could visit for a month and be told upon leaving that they have barely gotten to talk to us. When we go to their town, if we want to see any one else, we have the in laws take us to the airport as if we are leaving, then we rent a car and visit other friends and family. It is crazy but he is so jealous it is not worth the aftermath of us seeing other people!)</p>
<p>Back to the original topic, I did a little looking at the price of ice buckets, since I almost bought one last weekend for a friend’s upcoming birthday, and I am in the middle of buying 2 wedding gifts as well for friends kids.</p>
<p>First, a quick look at Amazon shows regular sized ice buckets costing anywhere from $8 to $75 [Amazon.com:</a> Ice Buckets & Tongs: Ice Buckets, Ice Tongs, Ice Buckets, Ice Tongs](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=289735]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=289735) A friend recently borrowed one of my ice buckets because her husband had decided their glass ice bucket was the new home for their yougest son’s goldfish :eek: I lent her my dansk wood/thermal-lined ice bucket with lid and tongs that I got at a Dansk outlet store a million years ago. I dont recall what it cost, but it really keeps the ice cold. I also have a glass one (got as a wedding gift) and an acrylic one (used mostly for outdoor events) but the ice melts quickly in those. I also have an insulated chrome one with a lid, but the Dansk one holds more ice (… bever realized I have 4 ice buckets!) Anyway, I digress. My friend who borrowed my Dansk one commented “now you know what to get me for my birthday”. Perfect, I thought. Her birthday is in a month. Gift idea is done. So, I happened to go to BB&B to order one of the wedding gifts. There, 2 ice buckets cost $39 and $49 (I think-- could have been $59!). Nope. Too much for a standard birthday gift. Then went to The Container Store. They had an acrylic one for $9.99 (not insulated and lid) but I was afraid the ice would melt too quickly so I didn’t buy it. I am still on the hunt for a reasonably priced attractive, functional ice bucket for her. I’ll review the ones on the Amazon site again after I post this, as there were some decent options, I think. I haven’t hit Ikea yet. I get overwhelmed in that store. While I won’t spend $40-$60 on an ice bucket for her birthday, I’d easily spend $40 on one if it was a wedding gift and was in the couple’s registry. Besides, I never go into BB&B without my 20% off, $10 off or $5 off coupons! </p>
<p>I guess I must be weird, but I typically spend at least $100 for a friend’s kid’s wedding gift, so look for one in that price range on their gift registry. So to me, a $40 ice bucket is no biggie, and certainly no more overpriced than, say, cephalon or oxo kitchenware (which I don’t buy). My H occasionally has to go to the Newell-Rubbermaid headquarters here. When he does, I ask him to check out the stuff in their in-house store, where things are about 25-30% off. Last time he came home with a cool spatula and a big pizza cutter (which we really didnt need). I have a million pizza cutters. Anyone need one?</p>
<p>My MIL was quite a character, very high strung. She also had problems with her feet, so in the car on the way to our wedding she wore her DEARFOAM slippers and kept her dress shoes in a brown paper bag to change into right before she came into the church. Well, she got so nervous that she forgot to change into them and walked down the aisle in those slippers with that bag!! haha! I didn’t even know til days later when someone asked me about the bag…what a bird.</p>
<p>Zooser, are sure your MIL is dead, because I am pretty positive she is alive and well…oh that’s right we’re not related!</p>
<p>My MIL has never really approved of me until recently, because her beloved child, not Bullet, got divorced, her daughter’s husband left her, so I was the last one standing out of 3. The funny thing is my FIL said in front of her, you better not run PIMA off too!</p>
<p>
Ahahahaha!!! That made my day. Thank you!</p>
<p>Pima, we’re just related in spirit! My MIL took me aside at our wedding to tell me that I better take care of her son. Which is hilarious in light of his untreated vision deficit that didn’t allow him to learn to read! She also took any and all uneated food from the reception.</p>
<p><a href=“sexual%20position%20question%20from%20FIL”>quote</a> and just want to know way more than they should
[/quote]
I think that trumps almost anything anyone else could say. Holy cannoli. I can’t even imagine.</p>
<p>Okay two things.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>My MIL blamed my SIL for the fact that her son had an affair…she wasn’t satisfying him, so he needed to wander! I swear that was her opinion and she stated it, now she wonders why SIL hates her.</p></li>
<li><p>In-laws come to visit us, friends are at the house, we are playing mexican dominoes, and out of the blue, in front of our children, their dates, and our friends, FIL states, Mommy won’t put her tongue in my mouth anymore! Bullet went running from the room, screaming please take the needles out of my eyes, and OMG, OMG. Our friends sat shocked for a second as we looked at each other and we just all busted out laughing. The kids, 13, 15, 17 didn’t know what to do. DS1 with his gf sitting next to him said grandpa that is TMI…he replied what is TMI. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!</p></li>
</ol>
<p>If anybody wants to know what my inlaws not only look like, but act like…watch Everybody Loves Raymond. That is them. I have said it to friends before they meet them and they think I am exaggerating, they meet them and apologize because I didn’t.
One time we got together as a family and my SIL and I were talking about we hit our husbands laughing while we watch the show. She realized that we saw them as Frank and Marie. SHe in classic Marie way turns to my FIL and tells him that the kids think they are like Frank and Marie (she is offended and can’t see it), he responds in total seriousness, so what’s wrong with that I like Frank, I would hang with him! 
Later on at this family party (it was just siblings and the kids), he stands up and says I have thought about Mommy’s funeral, and I know the song that I want played. She was touched thinking he was serious, and then he says DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!</p>
<p>MUST SAY he adores her and they have been happily married for 52 yrs, but you probably now have more of an insight about Bullets comedic side now!</p>
<p>Also MIL hates me because FIL loves me, and him and I are close. Probably closer than he is to their daughter, so she thinks I am an interloper. He also loves me because as an old school Italian sons are everything and we have the only grandsons…he thinks I did it, regardless of the fact that I always tell him I just baked them for 9 months and had nothing to do with their sex.</p>