thank you to everyone replying! there was already an issue haha a friend lied about my mom going, and his mother called mine to verify and found out lol my mom didn’t even know about the trip so i’m not sure what to do now. I’m just going to ask a give her a copy of the house rules, all contact info, itinerary and just let her decide. we’re also creating an all parent & child chat to discuss the trip!
Clearly…that’s NOT a good start…having another of the participants in this trip lying about who has already been given permission to go. There is nothing LOL about that. Your friend really was being dishonest…and right there, it would make me question this trip.
Good for that other mom for reaching out…which is what I would have done as well.
obviously not good, we all talked about not lying and being completely honest, doubt he’s going which is reasonable and okay because we don’t want any dishonesty or problems. we are creating a parent chat for this very reason haha. @thumper1
The long drive with inexperienced drivers, and other teens in the car, in a snowy setting, is the part that scares me. If the whole cabin operation were happening someplace the parents could drop you off, I might see it differently.
@Hanna mostly all of them have been driving for about 3/4 years and it isn’t currently snowing, it’s hot so it’s not as bad.
What state do you live in where an 18 year old would have been driving for 3-4 years? That would mean they got their drivers licenses when they were 14-15 years old. That is just poppycock.
And if you mean they drove without licenses for practice before their real drivers licenses…i say…so what?
As a parent who owns the cars in this family…I would NOT want the liability issues if a car full of teens had an accident…and folks got hurt.
You said someplace that you would ski…IIRC. So you must be heading where there is snow. Or the potential for snow. If these are nit drivers who routinely drive in snow…that would be another reason I would nix this trip.
And you doubt the lying friend will be going? How will you prevent this if his parents say it’s OK.
A “chat” would not make any difference at all. It would be a firm “no way” from me.
Our kid wanted to do a post prom trip. We said we’d listen to how it shook out and make our decision accordingly. We eventually agreed for the following reasons:
- Significant involvement from responsible host parent, including setup, clear ground rules and a mid-weekend check-in.
- Generally responsible group of kids who cared about each other and were going to have each other's backs in all the most important ways. -Location was just an hour away.
- Arrival/departure was via chartered van rather than multiple carloads of teens (just didn't seem to be a great idea for post-prom kids to be navigating dark, unfamiliar roads after midnight).
Yes, there was no one on site for long stretches, and I am certain there was some drinking (my mommy radar tells me the kids found a workaround for that one) and that nobody got much sleep, but the most significant risks were minimized.
@thumper -
I looked this up because I was curious, There are some states, including Alaska and Arkansas, where kids can get permits at 14, and others, like Florida and Georgia, where you can get a permit at 15. I was shocked to learn that only 9 states, including my own of NY, as well as Delaware and Connecticut, make kids wait till 16. Thus, depending on where OP lives, kids of 18 could have been driving for 3 years or more.
Nonetheless, this trip doesn’t sound kosher to me. At this point, I think I would say no as a parent.
^^ There are also exceptions for children who live on farms. I had high school friends with full licenses at 14 or 15. I’m sure the rules are different today but I think South Dakota and Minnesota may still have exceptions.
Driver’s training in Michigan is 14 years 9 months then they get a level 1 license and drive with a parent…after a few more months they take a second segment of drivers training and get a level 2 license and can drive with someone 16 or older in the vehicle if I recall. Intermediate license at 16 and can drive alone, “regular” license at 17 and yes by 18 have quite a few years under their belts. You can be even younger and drive boats and other water and snow machines so cards are not as intimidating as they might be for a pure novice.
Most kids in rural areas have already actually driven by 14. All of mine drove on our property before they started driver’s training in an old car that never left the property. Even back in the day, my driver’s training partner who lived on a farm had been driving farm implement equipment since he feet touched the pedals - it was intimidating to me since my parents never even let me back out of the driveway before driver’s training. I guess I’m one who thinks that driving skills are super important and kids need to learn how to drive in all kinds of weather conditions and road surfaces with confidence and some skill under their belts before they head out into the world at 18. I sure as heck don’t want to be on the road with a scared, low skilled young person in the car behind, in front or next to me in the winter. Part of that also is learning basic car maintenance and routine things like how to get a stuck car out that is spinning on ice or nose into a snowdrift, or stuck in mud and the difference in driving and cornering on pavement vs. gravel. I think highly of Michigan’s graduated license and think it is age appropriate.
The parents of the car owners need to check their liability insurance. Also, if it’s thought that other friends might drive…the car owners need to be sure that their insurance will cover these others in any instance. YMMV depending on your state, and your insurance company.
Perhaps if there was a hired van and driver and van or bus to get all the terms to and from the cabin AND adult supervision at the event, we’d consider it but teens driving thru possible snow and ice and staying co-ed in a cabin without adult supervision is not something I’d be able to agree to. There are just too many things that could go wrong with that many people and variables.