@doschicos that’s funny. We’re a shoe-hating family. My sister and I hated wearing shoes as a kid. My nephew seems to have inherited that trait because when you put shoes on him, he’ll pout then figure out how to get them off before running (lumbering) away. My sister has more or less conceded this battle unless it’s somewhere that shoes are a pretty obvious necessity.
On another note from something I posted a few days ago - apparently autoimmune diseases like lupus can make NIPT (prenatal testing) much more difficult because there’s a higher concentration of maternal cell-free DNA in the blood stream (diluting the fetal blood). Apparently it raises your risk of getting a “not enough DNA” result 10 fold or more depending on disease activity.
While it still doesn’t mean all is well with baby jedi, it is very comforting that this is a known issue. Our appointment is at 11 AM tomorrow with the genetic counselor and while I’m still nervous, I’m much, much calmer.
I’m a shoe hater as well. I go barefoot whenever I can. Always have. We’re a no shoe house. For this child I was lucky if I could keep her socks on as she’d always pull them off. She likes being barefoot like her momma.
Love “fed is best” especially because one of mine had a hard time feeding. And my oldest is 28 and breastfeeding didn’t work out for me and there was definitely some shaming going on. Absolutely parents need to decide what works best for them and their baby…judgement from others is not welcome! Hope it all goes well tomorrow, @romanigypsyeyes.
Thanks everyone. I know I have way way way more support than detractors on everything.
It’s funny - I know the fed is best mantra but my doctor told me it applies to mommas too. When I was having a hard time eating anything, I felt guilty for not wanting super healthy, nutritious food. My doctor told me to eat whatever and whenever I could tolerate it (with the usual caveats of potentially toxic food). It was really freeing and I didn’t feel guilty after when all I could eat in a given day was a little cereal and junk food (which I normally don’t like).
No advice, but just a tip from having a child. I had received a year of cloth diaper service as a gift. I tried to use them as diapers for a day or two…big no go. But I loved the diaper service for other usage. I used them for over my shoulder for throw up catchers, had them for putting under her when changing in places other than home, cleaning and anything else that I needed. If you get the service and don’t use them for diapers, you will still have SO many uses for them.
I still get advice on how I should “parent” my 27-year-old mentally ill son. You really do have to learn how to nod and smile or you’ll go nuts. Do not let it get to you! You need to conserve your energy for your family, not idiots.
@romanigypsyeyes — definitely remember having colds, allergies and all sorts of health issues during the pregnancies and trying to avoid medications while pregnant.
Hope you’re soon fully recovered!
I liked the idea of cloth diapers but really never researched them or tried them. Did use sone old cloth diapers as burp pads but that was about it.
We never used baby wipes either—paper towels with plain water worked fine and were less costly (also no chemicals or fragrances).
@romanigypsyeyes do not let the opinions of others affect you. You should do whatever works best for you and Mr. R. There is no absolute primer for which way is best and those who think there is are reading the wrong book.
Pregnancy hormones can make a snide comment or even one that may be just a non-judgmental statement something that affects you more than at other times. Shrug it off as much as you’re able to. Don’t let it guilt you into doing something you don’t want to. BTDT and it only brought resentment and tears.
I will just say that most people here just wish you well and are only trying to help by sharing their experiences and decisions.
Sending you good thoughts for your appointment.
Woman physician here. Love that “fed is best” comment. My only kid was a premie- (re)learned that the suck reflex develops at around 34 weeks. So- bottles, with premie nipples and adjusted amounts/frequency based on how long it took him. I tried but just couldn’t produce enough breast milk with pumping or get him to use me. In the ideal world being breast fed is best- but, hey, we live in the real world.
Shoes- was told by orthopedic surgeons (of course I asked) that no shoes is best before walking- don’t remember anything else. Both H and I come from no shoes in the house families. I would have had fun lecturing those wear shoes strangers.
I used disposable diapers. The pack of cloth diapers given to me at my baby shower made great spit cloths and still are used for other purposes decades later. The benefit of a dry bottom was far fewer rashes. As for toilet training, kid did it on his schedule, not my desire. Bedwetting (deep sleepers) runs in my family- the tales of attempts that failed, sigh.
You will make so many choices along the way- just as you are doing now with your pregnancy. Most won’t be at all significant, and we all made so many mistakes as we learned. It is good to explore options to make informed choices. Best to do some research but spend more time living and enjoying the journey.
This conversation prompted me to find a baby registry site where I could register and ask for fund donations rather than putting specific formula/diapers/whatever on there. (Along with other more traditional small stuff - mostly books, some toys, bottle stuff, etc). This is much easier since even what we plan to do at birth might not be what works even a week later - but we know for sure we’ll need diapers and formula of some sort!
I hope no one reacts like they did at our wedding and were offended at not having a gift registry. I’m going to frame it as “we’re being eco-friendly by reusing hand-me-downs!” because apparently people accept that more than “we really don’t need new stuff but please please please give us money.” shrug lol.
I think what you guys are doing makes perfect sense and is what works for the two of you! My relatives had very modest registries and we gave a joint gift for the shower of a stroller or similar and money when the babies were born. Giving cash for most events is common for Chinese and Japanese in HI.
Appointment went well today, I guess. The non invasive tests are just not going to work unless we wanted to wait until much longer in the pregnancy, which we don’t.
So we’re opting for an amnio next week. We know the risks but for us, it’s absolutely worth the incredibly minor risk. Plus they do a much deeper chromosome dive than the regular non invasive tests.
The procedure’s on Monday and the preliminary results will be ready by the end of next week with full results the week after. Which is good because if any decisions need to be made regarding the pregnancy, we can make them before the full anatomy scan in week 19.
Happier note baby Jedi is now the size of an avocado and I’m 15 weeks today.
Regarding the registry- these are literally the only times in my life that I wish I was on speaking terms with my rich relatives. Ah well lol.
Oh! I also got a quote about the cloth diapers that someone linked over the weekend. $23/ week for unlimited cloth diapers and weekly laundering. That doesn’t seem that bad to me. I’m going to dinner with my SILs tonight and am going to ask what they usually spend. Online estimates were all over the map.
$23/week that includes laundering sounds good to me too, but never priced them. Wouldn’t have to keep buying disposable diapers and checking for coupons on them.
I had amnio with S2 30 years ago. It was worth the risk for me too and everything went well with the procedure and the results. I wish the same for you.
I had amnios with both S1 (I was 35) and S2 (I was 40). It wasn’t fun, but DH and I felt it was necessary. The waiting is hard, but it is what it is. They had me rest for the remainder of the day after each one.
