I’ll +1 to having had an amnio. The procedure itself was not bad just a little weird! I still remember exactly where I was when I got the call with the results - which were fine.
And I’ll also +1 the idea that a package of cloth diapers really DOES come in handy for spit up clothes, shoulder burp pads etc. - they just feel so soft and great!
Another amnio here - with S (I was 38). Uneventful. But when they called to let me know the results, the person who called asked me if I wanted to know the gender. I paused for a second, then said no.
Amino with 2nd at 36, uneventful. I wanted to know the sex both time because 1. I wanted a girl more than a boy both times. I knew if it was a boy, I’d be a little disappointed at first, but would be over that and just plain excited by the arrival and 2. I’m a planner. Wanted to decorate and receive gifts a buy things for the sex.
Turns out I had boys both times…LOL! God knew what he was doing by giving me boys. Turns out I believe I have more of a disposition as a mother for dealing with boys than girls.
I support romani’s right to manage her pregnancy and parent her child the way she and her DH decide is the right way for them.
Many of us here have “known” romani for a long time. We worry along with you romani, but feel more and more optimistic about things as each day passes. So glad to know all is going so well!
Had amino with DS #2. Had some other genetic test, the name of which escapes me, with S#1, but they stopped using it as it had a higher risk of miscarriage! (I hope I dont have those procedures backwards— I had amino with one and the other procedure with the other).
All this talk about amnio reminds me of when I was pregnant in my mid 30s. The doc was an older guy - he’d delivered multiple generations at this point. He had previously gone over the pros and cons of some procedure - can’t remember now if it was amnio or maybe cvs? I told him I’d decided against it, and he said "good decision . I think that’s the right choice. "
Then at a later visit I was waiting my turn and I could overhear him talking to another patient who had decided to have the same test. He said “good decision.I think that’s the right choice.” Wise man.
This is the same doc who assured me “I can predict the baby’s gender. And I get it right at least half the time!”
Yes, very wise man. I still remember having to sign off to decline amnio with my youngest since I was 35 and so old! Part of very personal decisions that start even before the baby is born.
Good luck @romanigypsyeyes with all the decisions ahead of you!
I had my amnios 25 and 23 years ago. Found out the gender too. Which is why when I hear “ gender assigned at birth” I think um in my kids case it was determined way before birth.
That of course doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have had a gender identity different than their chromosomal determination. But it wasn’t “ assigned at birth”.
We paid $20/mo for full diaper service almost 40 years ago. I also got a package of cloth diapers which I still use around here as dust cloths, dog cleanup, etc.
Folks at work had a small shower (cake and some small things), but we got most stuff ourselves. We got a few hand-me-down things from my sister, and my dad made a bassinet/crib (it was just short of crib-size). We passed along lots of stuff as more nieces and nephews came along.
When I had my first, I went to a few La Leche meetings. OMG! In my opinion, it was one of the worst experiences of my life. When I had to stop nursing because my son was allergic to my milk, one of those women actually told me that I was a terrible person because I wasn’t reorganizing my entire life to figure out what my son was allergic to so I could eliminate it and nurse until my son chose to wean. I never went back and the La Leche book was one of the few I threw out because I refused to allow it to upset another woman the way I was shamed.
I did a combo of both formula and nursing.
Until #4 came along. She never took a bottle. It was infuriating and frustrating as I had mastitis,; and one time we went 24 hours with forcing the bottle on her, but she cried 24 hours straight and that was heartbreaking.
We even tried rags with breastmilk, and apple juice and fed=exing a very expensive boob-style bottle. So -the absolute first moment she could hold a sippy cup, we gave her whole milk (like at 8 months?) and I cut her off. Yes, I got lots of judgmental looks too.
she is very stubborn to this day; and someone once told me that stubborn children are often smart children. I really held on to that saying back then; it gave me hope!
@maya54 assigned at birth means they put it on your birth certificate at birth based on genitalia appearance. Hence… assigned.
@techmom99 that’s horrific, I’m so sorry.
Since we don’t want to know the sex - but have a ton of scans and testing ahead of us - my paperwork all says “SSA+ AND NO GENDER” in big letters at the top. It just makes me laugh because it makes me think of the baby as a ken doll.
I knew going into today that amnio would probably be our only choice so I did significant research into it over the weekend - because that’s how I make myself feel better is through evidence-based decisions. It’s also comforting because Mr R made the decision of what to do if we got a positive chromosomal abnormality result before we even got pregnant and are still comfortable with that decision.
@techmom99 I’m so sorry you had a poor experience with the La Leche League. It’s a bit the luck of the draw who your leader is. Ours had been a single working mother and she was very supportive. Her attitude was always that whatever amount of breastfeeding worked for you was a good thing. If you are taking medications, or have a totally unsupportive family, or have a kid who can’t seem to figure out how to latch on despite getting help from lactation consultants, I’m not going to tell you that you failed as a Mom. Unfortunately, I think some chapters have been taken over by people who have gone off the deep end.
Just read the fantastic news. CONGRATULATIONS.
I am so sorry that folks have had a rough time with La Leche, shaming, blaming, and the whole 9 yards. It really sounds like @romanigypsyeyes is getting great care and little Jedi is doing very well. We are so honored to be “part of the process” and cheering team. I’m sure whatever choices you and Mr R make will be great for all of you!
I wouldn’t write La Leche League off for a bad egg. I’ve known people involved who would never be that judgmental. In a society where breastfeeding is often hidden from view and where extended family units are no longer a thing, many new mothers who wish to breastfeed need resources to help them along the path, something that used to be passed down from mother or other female elders to younger women. La Leche League can be a good resource. Pains in the butt can be found everywhere.
I’ve, unfortunately, heard similar things about La Leche around here. BUT both my SILs were in non-La Leche bf-ing support groups that they absolutely loved. Part of me wonders if these are people who were turned off by La Leche pains and formed their own groups (mostly informal, through facebook)
@O2BonCC - Chorionic villi sampling! (CVS). That was it!! they said they stopped doing that due to higher risk of miscarriage. Perhaps because they did it at an earlier stage.
@romanigypsyeyes - SSA? As in Social Security Administration? Or am I overlooking some obvious acronym?
“assigned at birth means they put it on your birth certificate at birth based on genitalia appearance. Hence… assigned.”
Yes. But my doc put it on the birth certificate based on known chromosomes. Hence, determined.
As in their biological gender was determined by genetic testing. Their gender identity could have been different. But it was not.