it never once occurred to me to have my family in my room when I had my kids; but I’d love it if my daughters were to invite me!! how exciting! the birth process is . . . hard . . (I am using my filter here!). - but so miraculous and amazing too!
I had back labor with my first and luckily my sister was there to always be sure I had a hot compress on my back! I remember snapping at her when there were perhaps three seconds without it (it was very painful)! My husband was in charge of everything else.
My mother was at both my sil’s birth’s but not at mine! She did arrive the afternoon of my second son’s birth, even though he wasn’t due for another week. I’d asked her to come, because the woman who babysat my older son, couldn’t do it that week. My sil’s had home births and I think she mostly boiled water, and otherwise stayed in the background.
My mom was in the delivery room with my first. I loved having her there, but she said she was too nervous with worry for me the whole time.
My mom came to our place to watch our son at our apartment when my D was born. H said she was very surprised when he returned within an hour after we had left and said he was supposed to remain until after baby was born and he assured her that I and baby daughter were fine and resting comfortably.
I was very comfortable with just H and me. I hadn’t considered asking anyone else to be present and am glad it was just the two of us. I was able to focus on relaxing and being in the moment. I can see how having a comforting mom present could help, especially if spouse may be squeamish.
Just a counterpoint. I have always been very close to my mom. We are very similar in a lot of ways. Even when long distance phone calls cost money, we talked almost every day. She has always been my biggest cheerleader.
So I thought I wanted her in the delivery room. First kid came unexpectedly early, so she wasn’t there. She was present at my second son’s delivery. I honestly found it awkward. Screaming and swearing is part of the birthing process and I didn’t like doing that in front of Mom! I asked her not to be in the delivery room for our third. She didn’t seem offended - I think it was hard on her, too.
Yelling and swearing in front of my mom is not an anomaly lol. I don’t act any differently around my parents than I do around people my age. We’re a loud family and unfortunately I swear like a sailor. I’m really afraid Mr R is not going to be able to handle it and I need someone who can keep it together ?
Both Mr R and my parents have gone through medical emergencies with me - including screaming in pain. My mom handles it very well and calmly. My father and Mr R not so much. ?
Preliminary (FISH) results came back and chromosomes 13, 18, & 21 look good. Full results in about a week. I think I’m finally starting to relax. Honestly, until now, I knew that there was a decent chance I wouldn’t/couldn’t carry to term but with every good ultrasound and blood test, it seems more and more likely and it’s finally starting to sink in.
Romani,
Such good news. I have no idea what those chromosomes mean, but glad all going well
@bookworm oops should’ve clarified - those are some of the more common genetic abnormalities and can cause Downs or more severe, life-limiting diseases (babies born with an extra 18 or 21 rarely live to or past the age of 1).
No need to apologize. They didn’t use such terms in my day. I had to be tested for Tay Sacks because my cousin had this within the year. I don’t think tests were nearly as sophisticated
Yay for good news @romanigypsyeyes !! One day at a time 
DH is not good with medical things and I also worried about him. He rose to the occasion like a champ. I only had him (and several dozen medical people). Nobody in the waiting room, either, but my mom was home with our oldest during delivery #2. You’ll know what you want to do when you get there. But fewer tends to be better,imho.
It sounds like your mom would be a good support during labor & delivery. Not everyone’s mom would be - I know mine certainly would not have been so I didn’t want her there.
@bookworm Tay Sachs is one of the ones they’re testing me for in the full results test. And other Ashkenazi related diseases.
I think you mean an extra 13 or 18. Downs is an extra 21.
@“Cardinal Fang” yes you’re right. Oops.
Too many numbers and acronyms.
So great to hear of the good preliminary results. Continued best wishes to you!
Yay for good news and yay for a supportive person (or more) of your choice to be with you for labor/delivery.
I completely understand why you would want your mom in the room with you, Romani. I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my mother so I am glad she wasn’t there. However, my husband was not helpful either. When he was confronted with all my emotions he didn’t know what to do… so he started giggling! Which made me angry, which made him giggle more. I understood why he was giggling but it was SO not helpful!!!
@calla1 sorry but that story made me giggle.
I’m very, very fortunate to have such a good and close relationship with my parents. I know not everyone has or wants that. My SIL had her mom in there (at mom’s insistence) and it was a really, really bad experience. Luckily her birth was super short and she wanted us all there within an hour after my niece arrived. (In retrospect, I think that might’ve been her way of getting her mom to leave.)
Romani, your H will be becoming a parent for the first time too. Not that he won’t be there for you, but that he’ll be going through so much himself. A doula is a good idea - just because they are professionals at giving support, and that frees up the family members a bit.