Are they testing for Factor XI Deficiency, romani? That’s the Ashkenazi disorder my husband and all three kids have (each one had a 50% chance of getting it, ha). I read that about 9% of the A. population have it. It’s very rare in other groups.
@MaineLonghorn I’m actually not sure. I’ll send my genetic counselor a message and find out.
It’s a weird condition, since you don’t know it’s a problem until you have surgery or a severe injury. It’s been in DH’s family for a few generations, but nobody knew until my son was diagnosed at age 7 after his tonsillectomy complications.
@MaineLonghorn I messaged her, but haven’t heard back.
Apparently there was some of my blood in the sample so they have to grow baby cells… delaying my results by like another week. Oh well.
@romanigypsyeyes : What’s new? How are you?
@VeryHappy unfortunately, not great. I’ve been sick with a sinus/cold/upper respiratory thing for the last few weeks and finally got on antibiotics yesterday.
My inflammatory numbers are way up and some of my kidney numbers are looking iffy. I’ll go in for more testing next week to see if we can pinpoint what’s going on.
Because of the infections, I’ve been feeling super sick and back to sleeping well over 12 hours a day - which is especially annoying because I have a dissertation chapter due in about a week. Oy.
But baby seems to be doing fine at least of the last ultrasound. I go in for my detailed 19-week scan a week from monday. As long as kiddo comes out healthy, I can deal with whatever is going on in my body.
Oh I’m also very much showing now - which is weird because I’m still down almost 20 lb since getting pregnant but alas - I am round!
@romanigypsyeyes - I’m sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well, but glad to know baby Jedi is happily growing. Just keep resting and get better.
Some people love being pregnant. I was never one of them. I remember being sick and feeling like crap, but not being able to do much about it. Hang in there. Whatever’s going on with you is only temporary. The baby – now that’s permanent.
My daughter did not want me or her MIL in the room where she gave birth. The room was crowded with two midwives, a doula, and her husband. But because she had a home birth in my house, everyone in the family heard that sweet boy’s first cry and that is what mattered to me.
My mom died at 53 of a heart attack (smoker) before any grandchildren. M in law in India. I picked H up at the airport a day early than he was due back from a conference since I went into labor at 33 weeks (after 4 weeks of waiting with leaky membranes). Missed my first LaMaze class. Oh, well.
We had as many/more physicians in the delivery room- self (anesthesiologist), H (cardiologist), OB, Neonatologist- than nurses- OB and I think two from the next door hospital NICU (I chose my favorite for OB, worked at both). Kid never could do the breast feeding thing, I pumped (not much) but made sure I held him close with the bottle. I dislike seeing the bottles propped in a baby’s mouth- have seen in stores.
Every month gets better after they’re born.
@wis75 wouldn’t even occur to me to just prop a bottle. Seems way too likely to fall down and cause even more work for us lol.
@wis75 Your last sentence says it all! So many women struggle with PPD, my D included, and they think they’re alone or that something is wrong with them. But it does get better.
Yeah. 35 years later, I feel pretty good. 
Propped bottles can lead to ear infections. And of course, without being monitored in the arms of a loved one, any choking problems might not be observed.
I love how (we can’t help it!) we all feel inclined to share all our personal experiences with @romanigypsyeyes - i hope it doesn’t offend you!
I love my family and I got along with my in laws. BUT I wanted no one except my husband in the delivery room - or even on the premises! I did not want to have to worry about anyone else and just focus on delivering and enjoying the first baby moments. I also did not want any help once we went home - for none of my three. I don’t know how popular I was with the family because of that but it’s what worked for us!
@abasket not at all! This is going to sound strange, but I especially appreciate the complicated stories. My mom and sister had very easy pregnancies and births so I kind of grew up with that narrative. One SIL had an easy pregnancy but complicated birth and the other SIL had 2 very, very bad pregnancies.
Hearing “normal bad” or “normal went-awry” is helpful.
I also have to remember that I can’t compare myself to most moms (here and elsewhere) because I’m already working from a complicated deck.
-Mr R doesn’t have paternal leave unless we take unpaid (which wouldn’t be ideal but we can do it for a few weeks).
-I’m in poor health already and unfortunately, it seems like my lupus and RA are ramping up rather than going further into remission with the pregnancy. I physically can’t stay awake as long as a lot of parents can (not that I’m in any way saying it’s easy!)
-Because of my pre-existing depression issues, I’m at increased risk of PPD and having a support system will be helpful.
Ever since getting sick, I’ve had to force myself to accept help even when I don’t want to. It’s one thing when it’s just me but my kid shouldn’t have to suffer because mom has health issues AND has a close support system.
The other thing I really, really have going for me is that my parents are truly “let the parents lead” people - they’ve never offered any advice on my nephew (their other grandchild) unless asked. They also now have a very small place near us that they can stay at to give us all some space - rather than either staying with us or having to commute back and forth from their home 4 hours away.
I know, of course, never say never about anything but one of the perks of being the last of the pack to have a kid is that I’ve got a pretty good idea of what we’d like vs not with regards to support.
This comment comes out of sequence, but considering the other Disney+ discussion, I do feel it’s risky to let infants watch tv not designed for them. Normal video shifts images too quickly.
You may want to wait before putting him or her in front of Star Wars.
@lookingforward if I said that at some point, I was joking. I don’t actually watch much tv and don’t plan on changing that after having a kid. The most I do is have the news on in the background, but I can always turn the screen off and just listen to it.
I never let my kids hold their own bottle. It was much easier to wean them off of it when they weren’t used to holding it. At about 12-15 months, I started putting the good stuff (milk, juice) in a sippy cup and just water in the bottle. I gave them the bottle whenever they wanted it, but they very soon chose the sippy cup without a problem.
My last comment about every month gets better has nothing to do with PPD. It is about the normal parent and child. Depression means things do NOT go as they normally do- one cannot just tell a mother with PPD this.
With normal parent and child every month brings changes. You are not stuck forever with an eating-pooping-sleeping child. There is more and more interaction- the first real smile, milestones reached et al. I still recall a baby from a residency rotation who was physically growing at six months but still behaving as a newborn- a CT scan revealed severe problems. No wonder they showed up at the evening clinic.
So- my comment was about normal parents and children. Every month of the first years there are noticable changes, keeping things interesting (so much drudgery with small child/baby care- we don’t become parents to do diapers, laundry…) despite challenges (especially with the urge for independence without concern for safety).