No vacuum for my son, even though they had carpet. Each dorm floor had a community vacuum, which sounded good until my son said his roommate used it one morning to vacuum up his vomit.
S is fairly neat, does vacuum regularly with no prodding, and the rooms are carpeted. Deer head was exactly like the one pictured in someone’s post above, but it and the light were returned although both were pretty darn cool and very trendy. None of my three kids ever offers input, or could even care about what I buy for them or offers any input. They’re always like “whatever”. They’d probably all go off to college with one change of clothes and a pillow.
You and the roommate’s mom are of different social classes and that explains the disconnect. My DH was a first generation college attender and he tells me that he was given cast-offs from the family home – like the dirty stained towels, etc. while I was taken to Nordstrom’s where my mom purchased preppy clothes for me to wear at my private women’s college. Now that we are sending kids to college, we are having the same sorts of disagreements. I am buying them lots of plastic kitchen type stuff from Sam’s Club and my husband is going “I have a pile of stained towels in the garage they can have.” It might help, if possible, to have an actual cup of coffee with the other mom and to just talk in general terms about 'what are you expectations about the kids now that they are in college?" Does she expect her child to come home every weekend? How often does she expect to visit? She may think he’s not actually going to be there that much since he’s coming home a lot and that may affect how she thinks about the dorm room.
@jerseygirl67 Good for you! It takes guts to offer an apology. I’m glad the air is cleared between you.
BTW, I also googled wire deer head and found this on etsy:
https://www.■■■■■■■■/listing/185666309/little-deer-head-iii-unique-wire-deer
I kind of like it, although I may like the one @GMTplus7 found more. The all-wire one screams out for a string of white mini-lights, don’t you think? 
ETA: crossposted and just found out you returned the head. Now I’m disappointed! 
@Momzie, my DW and I are having the same discussions and we were both first generation. She wants to give them all the old stuff, frayed and discolored towels. I don’t want them to look as they got everything from good will when it would be easy to get stuff on sale or from discount stores. On one hand they will have almost all new electronics (laptop or desktop, tablet, printer,etc) but they will look like vagabonds with some of their other items.
Lots of people “shop in the linen closet” for stuff other than those pesky X-Long sheets, including middle and upper middle people who could afford to buy all new. We sent S with towels from the linen closet, but they weren’t stained and frayed–I think that towels that have been retired to garage use is being TOO frugal!
@Momzie, when my older sister went to college in 1966, I remember shopping trips that featured an augmented wardrobe of Villager skirts and sweaters and so on.
When I went to college in 1971, my mother bought me some new jeans. Things had changed. My father bought me a new stereo, though. He thought it was very important to be able to listen to music. I recall that when I left school, all of my possessions–including the stereo–could be packed into a 240Z with two people.
Here’s a picture of one, for those too young to remember:
Good move, OP. Calling the other mom and straightening out the situation was a classy thing to do. Good luck to you and your boy.
The worn linens are perfect for your child to take to college. I honestly don’t think anyone even notices what they bring…especially the boys. Most of the stuff will have to be replaced each year. They either don’t make it home or they’re in even worse shape than when they brought it. I’ve brought three kids to college and made their beds and left. One (my daughter, our first off to college) had some scheduled events for us. We did a few and then left.
I see the deer head from Consolation has sold out. Perhaps you all have been busy shopping? Nice irreverent take on a certain look. And I assume it would be a hand hanger for recently shed clothing?
My kids received sufficient new stuff at graduation presents that we didn’t do much shopping. Can’t imagine shoppoing before those gifts have been received. Though the class difference thing did show up when the roomie’s mom mentioned planning matching comforters for our girls, and I knew it would never fly. Though when I later visited her west coast school, we did go new comforter shopping, as the hand me down from her dad was rather sad.
I saw disgusting floors in the rooms of all three, though did provide throw rugs of some sort. Even on top of carpeting, throw rugs are of use. Some rooms had bare floors, which could be swept.
I am not going to decorate my son’s walls - and I guarantee they will stay blank all year - but knowing already that he is going to be homesick and has a hard time with transitions, I certainly AM going to shop my basement and bring some stuff to make his room more homey. From some leftover carpet squares and a frayed rug and a couple of large old couch pillows to a more comfortable desk chair, I’m not going to make it look like “pimp my dorm” but I am going to make sure he is comfortable. And yes a mattress topper and the sheets that I will put on his bed myself before I leave. I refuse to apologize for it!
I had a boy and a girl and definitely noticed the difference. Girl wanted all new and color-coordinated stuff. Boy was happy with old towels and blankets off of his bed at home. We were moving at the time the boy left for college, so he basically got everything from home from wastebasket to desklamp to hamper. I have no idea if he ever put anything up on the walls.
But, on move in day, I let D unpack and organize all her own stuff and make her own bed. I did all that for S, because if I didn’t unpack for him, I knew that stuff still be in his suitcase at the end of the semester. I remember packing his bag for summer camp and it arriving home with still folded underwear and socks!
Oh, and S is gay! But couldn’t care less what his room or his clothes look like. We tease him that he has absolutely no “gay skills”. I’m hoping he marries someone with good taste.
Megpmom, I had almost the same experience with my daughter and straight son, for whom we too are hoping a significant other who is neat, has taste and most of all is VERY indulgent/patient/understanding.
BTW, my daughter has a decorated cow skull on her trendy exposed brick wall in her Brooklyn loft; a wire deer’s head with antlers wouldn’t have phased her a bit.
Post #85 @Pizzagirl, several dorms at my kids’ college, including in the honors dorms, have plenty of room for a couch or futon. A neighbor gave my son 2 old chairs each with an ottoman, and a coffee table, and they all fit in his room, then his brother’s room, and now they may be returning for round 3! My dorm room only had space for a beanbag chair when we lofted the beds.
When we moved our kids in, we asked if they wanted help, and then we helped as requested, which was basically making up the bed while they put away their clothes, and hauling stuff to the recycling bins.
One thing to be careful of, if your kid arrives before the roommate, is choosing which side of the room to take. It there is clearly a better side of the room or options on where to move the furniture, it’s best to wait for the roommate rather than starting off their year-long relationship with the first to arrive getting the side with the window!
^^^Adding that I also LOVE the atmosphere of a good coffee shop. Starbucks is one, but local coffee shops even better! Atmosphere is as important as the coffee/drinks!
We had the opposite experience. S is the one who is much neater than D. He wanted shelf paper and hangers! She was not so concerned about such things. She got a lot of S’s castoffs. Both were fine with them.
Both begged for and got robotic vacuum cleaners (Roomba), which really help their allergies and I thinknalso helped S wake up for classes. He programmed to have it go off every day at the time he wanted to wake. The noise and machine hitting legs of his bed helped wake him as extra alarm.
“She wants to give them all the old stuff, frayed and discolored towels. I don’t want them to look as they got everything from good will when it would be easy to get stuff on sale or from discount stores.”
My parents had gotten me monogrammed towels when I went off to school, and I had this odd fantasy that I’d do so for my kids. D just wanted plain white towels, which we bought, and S insisted that he just clear out the older, worn-out towels because “what does it matter, it’s just something to dry myself off with.” Ruining my little fantasy! Sigh.
Both our kids just got towels in LA instead of lugging from HI. We let them select what they wanted.
We did get our girls monogrammed from Lands End. What the heck, they were on sale. D1 lost one towel on the outing trip (fell into a lake.) Her and D2’s remaining are in super shape, 5+ years later. Their backup towels were what we call camp towels.
I want to say the deer head thingamabob sounded amusing.
My son (not our daughters) shopped the linen closets. When he moved into his first apartment I bought: coordinating china and stainless (complete “set” ergo less money), wine and double old fashioned glasses, all new linens and towels and…a couch or two…oh heck…bought him almost everything.
His now wife saw the wine glasses…when we were going out to lunch (prior to engagement) she asked me why I bought young Ellebud wine glasses. (and yes, a dining table centerpiece with candlesticks…in case of a romantic dinner (don’t ask) OR an earth quake…I looked at her and smiled.
This is the way my son grew up. He will use what I purchased or not…
When my now much loved dil was sent off to college she had nothing…got it. Was I a bit on the helio mom? Yes. Did dil appreciate this once they got married? Yes.
@MichiganGeorgia I don’t think I’ve ever known of a dorm that didn’t have a vacuum/mop/cleaning supplies available to its residents. That’s why I would bet that they’d be the only ones with their own personal vacuum. 