Son shopped the closets for his college time.
When my kids went to college, they shopped in the linen closet of mom and dad first. They each took towels from the house. We don’t really keep towels with holes or frayed edges, but they were not new. Neither varied. Those thinner towels dry more quickly anyway.
If anyone was going to get new towels, it was us…the parents. And we did.
Those old towels made a one way trip to college…and never returned to our home. Good!
The towels S took were hand-me-downs to me from my parents. They originally came from Sears and wore like iron. They actually made it home after college. Now I keep them in my car for the dog, who loves mud and loves to swim. Does that count as 4 generations? 
The second pair of sheets I bought so that he could have one set in the wash–ha ha ha ha!!!-- came home in the plastic after 4 years.
Thank you OP for coming back and updating us …and knowing that even if we disagreed with you that we weren’t being mean. Glad you and other mom got back on track.
Funny enough when I was out of work in January for foot surgey had nothing to do so bought so much for my son stuff for college. Since it was after The holidays everything was 1/2 off and free shipping. I am not buying decorations but everything else he will need. He is fine with it as long as I don’t go overboard.
I don’t think I could disagree with this more … “It might help, if possible, to have an actual cup of coffee with the other mom and to just talk in general terms about 'what are you expectations about the kids now that they are in college?” Does she expect her child to come home every weekend? How often does she expect to visit? She may think he’s not actually going to be there that much since he’s coming home a lot and that may affect how she thinks about the dorm room."
Part of the initial issue is the moms getting involved that the boys should be handling. Under what scenario should OP need to know how often the other mom plans to visit??? OP should quit while she’s ahead.
Toledo, yuck!
I’m sure my son never vacuumed. This year in the off campus apt. they have a college supplied cleaning lady. She comes once a week and cleans the bathroom, vacuums and mops all the floors and takes out the garbage. I was up for the day last week and got to meet her. A really lovely lady and she loves my son.
To the OP - so glad you worked it out with the other mom and kudos for apologizing!
I bought S towels as mine are too nice and his old camp towels were already being used for the dogs. I know he has at least one left and a few wash clothes as he brought his laundry home last break. He can take them with him when he sets up apt. in Boston. The only thing I plan to buy him for that is a bed - which will be part of his graduation present. He can take care of anything else he will need.
Freshman year he and his roommate decorated the walls with a flag from their respective states. I don’t recall anything else being put up.
S2 ordered posters once he was settled in at school. He has never had a dorm room that was big enough for a futon. He is a serious chef and has a LOT of cooking equipment. It generally takes 6-7 boxes just to haul that stuff to school. We generally go up to help him move in/out since there is no storage on campus or nearby without a car. S appreciates me setting up his room, as we all know that otherwise nothing would ever get unpacked. OTOH, his room might be cleaner in that scenario. 
S1 had on-campus storage, so we didn’t have to haul back and forth. He never came home over the summers, either. He’s much more of a minimalist than his brother.
Even in tiny dorms, like my D’s, the beds are usually able to be “lofted”, leaving room for a couch/futon underneath. It gave a place for visitors to sit. Much less awkward to say to date, have a seat on the couch, rather than the bed 
And it was a nice place for out of town visitors for a night.
"Both our kids just got towels in LA instead of lugging from HI. We let them select what they wanted. "
I checked to see what was near D’s college… I dropped kiddo at her dorm with her 2 suitcases and went shopping to the nearby mall. Natick shopping center knows - when it is dorm move-in season, the shelves at Target etc. are stocked up with the necessities.
BTW, if Southwest flies between the home and college cities, the two free suitcases they allow are a godsend.
I sent DS to college with two sets of sheets. Pretty sure one never got used, because the first set never came off the bed. I’m also sure he never vacuumed or swept, because he would have had to find the floor first, and it was normally covered with his dirty clothes–heck, probably the clean ones, too. And lucky for him, he managed to find roommates with similar housekeeping standards. I found it was best not to think about any of these matters…
Costco has towels, as did Target, Tuesday Morning and even Burlington Coat Factory. Our LA friends convinced our kids NOT to buy the towels at Target–said the quality wasn’t worth it. They only needed two bath towels, one hand towel and one face towel, I think as well as a few dish towels. They kept the towels all their college years and beyond.
Wow, just realized that the wire head with antlers attracted 10 pages of posts… Just kidding. Move in and roomie stuff is definitely college-related. Why isn’t this thread a featured thread? 
We bought DS a bunch of stuff from BB&B in his college town (like Himom, we thought it was silly to lug from HI stuff we could buy there), he picked out sheets, towels, etc. Also hit the thrift stores and Target for some fall and winter clothes. He brought (sent ahead, actually) some mounted posters and books from home, and took a few more after winter break. He was more interested in getting a swank desk chair from Staples, than anything else, since he’s a programmer and gamer and spends a LOT of time in that chair, so we sprung for it.
No vacuum, but he wanted a French press and a few thing for his kitchenette from Walmart.
From the FB posts I’ve seen, neither he nor his roomie have done much “decorating” of the room. (There certainly wasn’t room forma futon!) He was randomly matched by questionnaire and we met roomie and his parents on move-in day. Both dads were adjusting the beds and we moms were unpacking kitchen stuff and bedding. There were a couple of days of orientation events for students and parents (separate), and the last night of parent activities they gave us time to have a farewell dinner with our kids. He wanted a hot dog but we dragged him out to a real restaurant so we could have a last hour together (he was ok with it, he’d wanted to see more of the city and we did), then dropped him back at the dorm and drove tearfully back to our hotel for the last night.
All worked well in the end.
Oh, and college was when he finally abandoned the Lands End towels (1 red and 1 purple) monogrammed with his first name, that I’d gotten him for his first swim lessons at age 4. They’d served him well, as a year-round competitive swimmer, for 14 years of chlorine pools and daily workouts! Greatest towels ever.
At our move in day, we got S’s stuff to his dorm and I believe I may have made his bed. Neither he nor roommate (flying in from opposite coast) brought anything to decorate the room. We bought S a multifunction printer for their room and roommate bought a TV.
We took S to lunch and went to an orientation and then said goodbye. We dropped off hangers, shelf paper and other things he requested. I think we made a Costco and Frye’s run with him to get more “stuff” for the room. He was happy and excited and we were happy for him and still had D who was returning home with us. There was very little orientation for parents but tons of student activities.
I don’t think I ever made their beds, when they arrived at college or during visits. Maybe I helped them unpack the comforter on their first day. Never opened their drawers, except one time when D1 said I could look for a hair tie. At a certain point, it’s up to them. It does sound a little odd to me that we spend so much time and effort finding the right school (which is about the academics as well as the semi-independence) and then unpack their clothes. But I do get that it’s symbolic or a last bonding thing, for some. I think I knew I was going to get further in preserving my mom connection with my girls by letting them handle what they could. It’s an evolution, they don’t want to feel like little kids.
My girls either had places to get to or wanted that Walmart run. They always wanted a case of water to share with new or old friends. Later, when we visited, they just wanted parent time, maybe another Walmart run, not a clean-up. The benefit we got was that they were comfortable when we were there.
I did start lists for them, beforehand- like, do you want a bedside lamp or you want to wait and decide later? Do you have enough face wash til we’re up for parents weekend? I did advise them on things like a little plastic tote to carry their things to the shower. I’d say I focused more on the changes that come when living with strangers and in a dorm, or how to handle certain social issues, than housekeeping. They figured things out. They were ready to. I don’t mean to say we were hands off, not at all. But it was like picking the right ways to stay involved, stay close.
Thinking about those old towels from home…did any of your kids request an item from home? A raggedy blanket or stuffed toy? The only memento my son took was his prom picture. Now that the girl is out of the picture, I wonder if he still has it?
My kids both took the comforters off their twin beds at home…and took them to college. They also took their towels from their bathroom. And both had jersey knit twin size sheets…which fit an XL twin college mattress just fine.
One kid took the pillows from his bed.
DD took a stuffed rabbit.
@jerseygirl67, I’m actually shopping for a wire deer head w antlers now-- thanks! :)>-
@thumper1 "If anyone was going to get new towels, it was us…the parents. And we did.
Those old towels made a one way trip to college…and never returned to our home. Good!"
LOL - Those were my thoughts exactly. I gave our old towels to my son as they were clean and serviceable and he didn’t care about getting new towels in the least. We didn’t have a twin size comforter or he would have had that too. Bedding and linens were extremely low on the priority list for him as he was getting ready to leave for university.