I’ve already told this story on CC, so just close your ears and chant “lah lah lah…” if you’ve already heard it:
I have a Canadian expat colleague whose kids lived practically their entire lives overseas, accustomed to having a maid, driver, cook, etc. The eldest son repatriated to Canada to attend university. When parents went to get him at the end of the school year, the stink nearly knocked them dead when they walked in the dorm room. Their DS hadn’t changed his sheets the entire year—he had no awareness that it was something that was done. My colleague’s wife told me she consoled herself knowing no girl ever slept in that bed…
My D took all ratty linens when she went to college, except her bedspread. When she got a job at school, she was very frugal, but she did go out and buy good linens for herself, including towels. I think it’s great when kids spend their own money on themselves!
@GMTplus7 UGH!!! That is absolutely disgusting. I guess your colleague’s son couldn’t smell it himself as he lived with it every day. If he did have a girlfriend, I am sure she would have said, “Dude. Change your sheets.” :-&
I looking forward to this summer on comparing how a guy gets ready to move into a dorm rooms a girl. W D1, we matched the comforter, sheets, towels, Rubbermaid tires, shower tote, etc. I’m thinking o will send S1 off to schools the ratty towels. He will get D1 dorm fridge that she hasn’t used in the past 2 years.
Back to original post…I can’t understand how a normal dorm room will fit a futon.
It really depends on the dorm. Some are tiny, like the ones I lived in and the one S lived in . Some are fairly spacious, like the one D lived in as a sophomore transfer. Hers came furnished and we did NOT add any furniture. It had a communal living room for the 4 of them, as well as some chairs, lamp, small kitchenette. I’m not sure, but believe one of the suitemates provided a TV. It was MUCH more posh than the best living environment I had as a student.
D used graduation gift money and gift cards to outfit her dorm room. I plan to send DS with 2 sets of sheets in hopes that he changes them now and then.
I went to Goodwill and bought 2nd hand beach towels for D and plan to do the same for S. They are big for coverage walking down the hall, are thin so they dry fast and already laundered enough times that the colors won’t bleed.
Son’s traditional dorm room had 2 lofted beds, closets on one side, and desks on other side. The area between beds had a window and space. I think most kids would fill with fridge. When I saw the room at parents day, son wanted a better desk chair and love seat and a/c. They didn’t want fridge, as very near the hall kitchen. The beds were so high, I don’t think comfortable for sitting up and reading/studying.
His was an old dorm, the new ones have many singles. His first room, for a week, had everything lofted, including dressers. It was a magnificent engineering feat, but I could not imagine how one could ever change sheets.
All that these boys need is a duffle bag of clothes and one set of bed-linens. A decorative deer head could cause an unfortunate impression and an undesired nickname. Back off, mom. Both boys will appreciate a “less is more” approach to packing and room accommodations.
At my boys’ university, and I suspect most others, there is a poster sale at the beginning of each school year, and that’s how the kids decorate their rooms. Also, posters of the university’s athletic teams are usually available for free on campus, and since my guys had HS friends on the girls volleyball and softball teams, they always hung those posters.
Last year, we were not on the same page AT ALL with the parents of one of my son’s housemates. They actually slept at the house every time they were in town, and that was A LOT! The first time they stayed there, the roommate forgot to ask or even mention it to his roommates. My son walked out of his room in boxers and there is his roommate’s mom. She told my son it was not appropriate for him to walk around like that! That continued all year when they were in town but at least after that episode the roommate did let the other boys know when they were coming, and I guess the boys decided to just put up with their visits. That was not an issue for me to get involved in, but I did think it was weird of them to stay in a house with 4 boys and a shared bathroom. One time when we were in town (at a hotel), we went to pick up our son for dinner and the parents were in the living room drinking, sweaty bottles on my son’s coffee table with no coasters, feet up on the table, watching TV. So they were not just unwelcome house guests, but they were poorly mannered unwelcome house guests. When we got in the car, my son said they were drinking his beer and hadn’t even asked.
It might be that the woman is feeling uncomfortable that you are buying everything for the boys. I know you are trying to be thoughtful, but it may be hard for her to feel like she can’t provide these items and you can. And I am sure that she knows about the computer – but maybe it is just to hard for her to express it. There is probably guilt and feeling that she is failing her son, and she may be misreading your generousity. I think you have done enough…and it is all fine. Just let the boys figure it out from here.
Barfly,
Those parents need a scolding. I understand your son being shocked by having a MOM call him out on wearing boxers, but his beer? I’d encourage son to tell the roommate he owes him for the beer. I honestly cannot imagine 3 boys putting up with others’ parents for more than one weekend. I’d be upset if I needed the bathroom to get to a class, and one of those parents were hogging that space.
