<p>I actually agree with cobrat that it was appropriate for the D to share this with her mother, if indeed she was being honest about the situation. It isn’t as if D was upset because the roommates had called her mother ugly, or said anything else that the mother could plausibly take personally Most adults aren’t going to be horribly wounded by hearing about the bratty behavior of a few teenagers, while most college kids do need advice/comfort if their roommates are acting like total jerks. In a similar situation, I wouldn’t think twice about telling my mother. </p>
<p>That being said - cobrat, when you find yourself accusing multiple posters of being queen bees, maybe it is time to stop and question your own behavior. And please don’t respond by saying that I’m enabling bullying or victim-blaming, or that if I acted this way in your Catholic elementary school, I would doubtless have been expelled.</p>
<p>I don’t think it was inappropriate for the D to share the information, either. But if the mother was hurt by the roommates’ behavior, so be it. Verbalizing that to the D is neither inappropriate imo, nor is it likely to result in a permanent breech in the relationship.</p>
<p>If anything would hurt me about such a scenario, it might be that my daughter (a junior in college, not a minor, not a freshman) didn’t have the confidence or the desire to speak up for me. It wouldn’t be a disaster to me, but it might sting that my D would be passive and pass along the dictate to me as if she had no say in the matter.</p>
<p>I personally think my Ds would tell them off and I’d never know it ever happened. But we are all different in how we handle conflict, so there is not necessarily any ONE correct way to handle it.</p>
<p>cobrat-
It is painfully obvious to most posters here that you seem to desire to be the center of attention, and will stop at nothing, including the ridiculous fantasmagoric stories, the hyperbole, the name-calling, the taunting, the highly inappropriate bringing up/posting personal information about posters that is not yours to post, is completely unrelated to the topic and has absolutely nothing to do with the thread, and then try to weave some outrageous nonsense to try to insult them. Then when anyone wastes their time trying to have a discourse with you or tries to get you to see how absolutely astoundlingly stupid that stuff is, you retreat yet again to namecalling and accusations. Please-- work out your issues. Somewhere else. Please stop derailing the parents thread. It is inappropriate and pathetic.</p>
<p>Well, thank goodness you’ve “observed” so many parent-child interactions. They certainly trump our actually LIVING those experiences as parents.</p>
<p>^^^WOAH, that seems really, really harsh. It’s an internet forum. People are entitled to their opinions, far fetched or not.</p>
<p>As for the thread itself, I think it’s always better to tell the truth. I neither trust nor like people who lie or omit things to “spare someone’s feelings”. I especially would expect someone close to me to be 100% honest.</p>
<p>^ Which is fine, except when certain people insist on completely derailing threads with irrelevant and farfetched information (which does not stand up to scrutiny and is ignored when challenged).</p>
<p>If the OP wishes to resume same topic with another thread, feel free to do so. Resumption of any bickering on the new thread will not be tolerated.</p>