<p>Maybe it’s not technically a hate crime, but I’m not sure the law has really caught up to the possibilities new technologies make possible. I suppose if we lived in a society that was open and safe for all, one in which gay kids could find acceptance and not even have to think about being out, then the weight of what Ravi and Wei did might not have been quite so devastating, and perhaps Tyler Clementi would still be alive. In that case, the invasion of privacy charges would seem more proportionate. But sadly we don’t live in that kind of society. Perhaps they never intended or imagined that Tyler Clementi would take his life, but given what they were up to, Ravi and Wei knew full well that their actions would have terrible consequences. And they should be accountable somehow for their depravity.
This story breaks my heart. And infuriates me. What a sad, terrible thing. Rest in peace Tyler Clementi.</p>
<p>made me cry too. grateful that college has created opportunities for me to have a whole range of friends, gay people included–friends i’m thrilled to have–and who have given Tyler’s story a personal context for me. it’s heartbreaking to hear that my friends have endured hate crimes and bullying too (though not to this extent), and stories like Tyler’s are a painful reminder that there are vicious people out there that get off on tormenting others for something as insignificant as that person’s sexual preference. since when is the biggest factor in judging someone who he or she decides to sleep with? i just don’t get why one’s personal life can’t simply remain…personal.</p>
<p>Wow. That’s really sad, and I can’t imagine how his parents/family feel. 
:(</p>
<p>I have a feeling that this kind of public streaming of embarrassing personal info is not that unusual among high school and college students. These two weren’t exactly shunned for doing it the first time, I’m assuming. We’re only hearing about this because of this horrible consequence of the victim’s suicide. And I do think that the fact that Tyler was gay did have everything to do with it. College students are “sexiled” all the time – it wouldn’t exactly be noteworthy, and chances are that they might have faced criticism from friends. It’s because it was a gay encounter that they did this, I’m sure, although of course I have nothing to base this on. What adds to the heartbreak of this is that they were roommates.</p>
<p>I was wondering whether it has something to do with cultural background. The two involved have Indian and Chinese background.</p>
<p>
I hope this is not true, and I don’t really think it is. I mean, what’s next? Will our children show up on youtube using the toilet or taking a shower because their roommate thought it would be such an LOL moment? Imagine the possibilities.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the question, shortcut. You’re seriously asking if it’s part of Indian- or Chinese-American culture to bully people and be homophobic and secretly tape one’s victims and stream it over the Internet?</p>
<p>I somehow doubt it. There hasn’t been a rash of homophobic bullying by students of Indian and Chinese descent.</p>
<p>This is so sad on so many levels. I try to imagine myself as a fly on the wall in these homes.</p>
<p>As a parent for the 2 who did this horrific thing, thinking it was funny…I am not sure I wouldn’t kill them myself. I am almost 100% positive that I would be arrested the night they came home for domestic assault.</p>
<p>How do you hug a child, hire an attorney and tell them it will be okay, when what they did makes you feel sick to your stomach?</p>
<p>This is my POV. I love my kids, but I am sorry, I don’t think I could let them back in my home. I would be so upset at myself for raising a child so insensitive to others. I just couldn’t do it. I would put myself in therapy the next day after the valium wore off, trying to figure out where I went wrong as a parent.</p>
<p>I would pay for the attorney, but someone else would have to take them in, because it wouldn’t be safe for them to re-enter my home. I would not be able to rationalize any reason for them to twitter, set up a web cam, or post on facebook. Just can’t.</p>
<p>I agree with you 100% B&P. I just don’t think I could ever feel the same about them after finding out they were capable of such callousness.</p>
<p>Just get rid of beasts. Would be nice to be able to sentance them to jumping of the same bridge. Nobody would ever do it again.</p>
<p>It appears that the prosecutor may indeed have grounds to add Bias charges, as the fact that Tyler was gay was the issue.
[Tyler</a> Clementi, Rutgers University Student’s Sexual Orientation Apparently an Issue for His Roommate - ABC News](<a href=“Tyler Clementi's Family Hopes Son's Death Will Serve as Call for Compassion - ABC News”>Tyler Clementi's Family Hopes Son's Death Will Serve as Call for Compassion - ABC News)</p>
<p>I hope they throw the book at these two.</p>
<p>If these were my kids I would hire the best attorney I could afford because I wouldn’t think it was fair for them to get the full blame for what Tyler did. I don’t believe it was this incident that caused him to end his own life, this incident may have been the last straw, but it couldn’t possibly have been this incident alone. Even if it was then it was a huge overreaction on the part of Tyler.</p>
<p>Suicide is never the answer. This would have blown over, next week everyone would be talking about something else. Things would have gotten better, they always do. But Tyler made a decision that is so final and has brought so much pain to the people who loved him.</p>
<p>There isn’t anything to be gained by the parents of the two perpetrators disowning them or their being forced to jump of a bridge. I think they’ll end up being punished. They already have to live with what happened, charges about the egregious invasion of privacy that they are guilty of are being filed. New Jersey is investigating the possibility of treating this as a hate crime. I’ll continue to follow the story to see what happens to them because I do think they should be punished.</p>
<p>But Tyler shouldn’t have done what he did. It was way out of proportion to the crime committed against him.</p>
<p>Miami,</p>
<p>No death is ever a good thing.</p>
<p>I do not wish this upon the kids.</p>
<p>They are young and stupid.</p>
<p>Let’s be honest, even if they do not get charged or go to jail, this is the internet age. No college will accept them. No employer will hire them. 1 month into college and their lives are over.</p>
<p>This may sound strange, but they got the best punishment. The rest of their lives will be tied to this. Not one day will go by. Employers will do google searches and not hire them. One stupid action ruined their entire life.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Please, this is a society that has yet to acknowledge homosexual unions or allow homosexuals to serve openly in the military. </p>
<p>A roommate video’d him in an intimate moment to be streamed world wide.</p>
<p>Not only did he do that, but he twittered and facebooked openly about his roommates sexuality.</p>
<p>They are 18. AN 18 yo to come out to his parents and acknowledge that he is homosexual is nothing less than brave in our society. </p>
<p>How many of us as parents have received the phone call from our child, in tears because of roommate or class pressures? I sure as hell have! Neither of my kids had the xtra burden that kids on the floor saw them having sex because the roommate thought it was funny.</p>
<p>WOW is all I can say…I have to leave now for a funeral at our hs. The child was a SR football and LAX player, loved by everyone, but for some reason he decided to take his life on Sunday. Your cavalier attitude to people who commit suicide HURTS.</p>
<p>We can’t say for sure this is the parent’s fault. Sorry, I just can’t fully believe that. Sure, it’s possible, but at what point do you stop getting blamed for your child’s actions?</p>
<p>It gets the point where you make decisions, and they are yours alone. Yes these are “young adults”, a mere eighteen but what they did was THEIR decisions. Their parents were not in the room that day, cheering them on. Maybe both of their parents are decent people, and are now trying to piece all of this together and figure out why this happened. I’m sure their only instinct is to defend and protect their children.</p>
<p>Sorry; I just can’t start pointing fingers at their parents. You just don’t know.</p>
<p>This story is so painful for me on so many levels. My S had a gay roommate freshmen year. The year of rooming together was miserable for both of them. The young man was a gospel singer and he not only came out to my S, he came out to his choir. They threw him out of the choir. Naturally he was distraught and talked to my S endlessly about the situation. My S, a very shy socially awkward kid, simply did not know what to do or how to help. The best thing my S could do was offer his roommate candy when he was upset.</p>
<p>Then his roommate requested privacy time for sexual encounters; my S refused. (He was taking a heavy course load and he needed access to his computers and books. Furthermore his dorm room was the only place he could rest if he needed it.) The roommate complained to the RA but the RA backed my S up.</p>
<p>Things got ugly. Roomate and S constantly fought. We suggested trying to move and we were willing to get S an apartment if he needed it but he decided to tough the situation out. We ended up picking up S from college every weekend and bringing him home so he could get some relief from the confrontations. Both kids ended the year never wanting to see each other again. </p>
<p>As for the suicide, I have had a close relative commit suicide who showed no signs of mental distress prior to the act. I believe his despair came on like a tsunami, unexpected and overwhelming. The emotional pain was so intense that he could think of no other way to escape the agony except by killing himself. The reason for the pain: his girlfriend broke up with him. So Tyler could have felt okay one minute and be engulfed and drowning in pain the next.</p>
<p>I just returned from the wake of a 17 yo boy.</p>
<p>I want to say, I hope nobody believes I think it is the parent’s fault. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way.</p>
<p>I was saying for myself, as a parent, I would be questioning how I missed the signs that my child would be so callous to video tape and post world wide a sexual encounter be it if his roommate was heterosexual or homosexual.</p>
<p>I personally would feel that I failed to instill morals and values.</p>
<p>That is my POV. I am not pointing fingers at them, actually my heart goes out to them. They will also carry this burden for the rest of their lives knowing that their child had at least in some part contributed to this death. That is a lot of guilt knowing as a parent how much we treasure life.</p>
<p>Now, going back to the kids, yes, I agree it was their decision. I just have to ask where was their moral fiber when they were laughing and giggling about…look my roommate is making out with a dude?</p>
<p>It is sad I bet only 4 months ago this kid had a fight with his parents over coming in late at night and he gave the typical 18 yo answer. I am an adult, treat me like one. Well, yes, legally he is an adult, but he just proved to his parents and society that from a maturity standpoint he still isn’t one. Unfortunately, the law agrees with him, he is an adult, and the fact he is young or a teenager is no longer the issue. </p>
<p>He can’t have the excuse, I am young or a mere eighteen, to defend his foolish actions, Tyler was young too, except he will now never have the chance to mature because a mere 18 yo pushed him past the tipping point.</p>
<p>
I would react exactly the opposite. I most sincerely hope that my children would never do anything so heartless and cruel, but if they did I would love them forever and welcome them here. However, their consequences would be their own to deal with. They would pay their own lawyer, and serve their own time if convicted so that they learn how terrible a thing this was. I would let them know how terribly disappointed I was in them, but nothing would stop me from loving them. I could do this because I know I’ve done my best to raise them and doubt it would come to this, but if it did, it would be a huge mistake on their part, but not evil.</p>
<p>This is a very sad story - my sympathy is for the victim and his family and friends.
I am not sympathetic at all to the two students who got themselves into this mess/tragedy and I hope they are prosecuted. Get ready for some serious lawyering up. already have heard some excuse-making on the part of a friend of the male student.</p>
<p>This whole tragedy was completely unnecessary. Sounds like they have a lot of time on their hands, too, to dream up this scheme and implement it. I mean: get a life!</p>
<p>The two students seem to have poor characters and very poor taste. It is appalling to secretly video someone – anyone – but especially outing someone in the process – in a personal act in a dorm room and post it to the net. </p>
<p>However, with social media, “reality” shows, young Hollywood anit-heroes and heroines acting up all the time (and getting away with drug abuse and law breaking), is it a total surprise these two students would try to be “clever” and “edgy?” Well, I hope their hijinks follow them for the rest of their lives and I suspect they will, on the net.</p>
<p>I would never stop loving my child, but let’s be honest these 2 kids were packed out of the dorms as soon as this hit the media. I personally, would need my own space to get past my anger at them. It is for their own good that they don’t come near Mama.</p>
<p>Maybe I am a horrible parent. </p>
<p>I don’t believe that, but I think my kids know how I expect them to treat others in society. That line is pretty well drawn in my home. I have no tolerance for bullying, rudeness, inconsideration to others feelings etc. </p>
<p>I will always love that child, but I will not allow them to rationalize a horrific act based upon the fact that I love them.</p>
<p>I guess in the end that it is how you see this issue. Was it evil or a mistake?</p>
<p>I could go with a mistake, but as more and more comes to light Dhuran Ravi started posting from day 1 as soon as he found out he was rooming with Tyler, that he was gay. His FB shows he said I got a gay roommate. He tweeted, check it out on ichat my roommate is making out with a dude. He then went and announced Tyler asked for the room again, anyone on line during these hours you can watch. He set up his laptop for the webcam to face Tyler’s bed, not a closet, not a wall, but the bed. Tyler posted he noticed that the webcam was on when he entered the room knowing that he asked Ravi to give him private time. Tyler unplugged it. I bet more light will come to this issue when Tyler unplugged it, and if he knew that his previous sexual encounters had already been plastered around the world. Tyler did go to the RA and 2 people above the RA. </p>
<p>His last actions were pre-meditated to embarrass his roommate. That is not a mistake. That is evil.</p>