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<p>I read this somewhere as well. What I don’t understand is why Tyler didn’t shut off the cam if he knew that it was on. Am I missing something?</p>
<p>The death of this boy is a tragedy. Three families have been destroyed. So very sad.</p>
<p>Elleneast,
He noticed the webcam was on when the perpetrators tried to film him for the SECOND time. Unfortunately, he had previously been filmed and “outed.”</p>
<p>I see. Thank you.</p>
<p>I made a decision a long time ago that when my kids most need me is when they are least lovable. If their mom can’t love them, who in the world will? Sometimes no one. Especially true for these kids. I would take them back into my home (and my heart) pretty much no matter what they had done. That would not mean I would shield them from the consequences, though. Just that I would not disown them.</p>
<p>Pea, I have a gay child and a sibling who committed suicide. You have absolutely no idea on either topic. “Suicide is never the answer” is so trite and banal. That means nothing to someone who is in as much pain as this kid was. Do you think anyone would choose that route if they could see another way out of their situation?</p>
<p>I think to say that “they will have to live with what happened” as if that is enough punishment is also not at all adequate. I mean, we could say the same about Hitler, and we could have let him go. Or Ted Bundy. Or Bernie Madoff. There are multiple purposes for our criminal laws. Punishing for the act. Discouraging that offender from repeating their actions. And discouraging others from performing that same action. We still have an epidemic of gay bashing/baiting that goes on in this country, especially for teens. If this isn’t punishable, what in the world would be?</p>
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<p>You’ve got to be kidding! It might have blown over for the perpetrators (they probably would have gotten bored again and created other mischief), but how insensitive to say it would have blown over for the person who was violated. VIOLATED! Because that’s what it was - a major personal violation. That kind of stuff doesn’t blow over! It becomes a part of your life forever. What you do with it is different for everyone, but it never blows over. </p>
<p>And no, things do not always get better. That’s a very Pollyannaish attitude to have. His roommate might have stepped up the harassment if no one had intervened. You never know what would be going on today had this kid not suicided. He could have become another Matthew Shepard. How is this getting better?</p>
<p>That’s the perfect word, teriwtt, “violation.” I’ve been thinking about how I would feel if someone secretly taped me in a private moment, in my home, and broadcast it over the internet. Then I magnify what I would feel by the age factor and the homosexuality factor. </p>
<p>Kids go to college with such high hopes. I feel sick thinking of how tormented Tyler must have felt in his last days. </p>
<p>My understanding of the sequence of events is that the evil roommate captured Tyler with a man on his laptop, controlling it from the young woman’s room, and somehow broadcast it over a video chat. Previously, he had posted on twitter a number of times about his roommate’s sexual orientation, and he posted that he had read Tyler’s posts on a gay message board. (I wonder how he knew that, and whether he was spying on him even before the first webcam incident.) Tyler found out about the webcam broadcast right away, and posted on the message board, asking for advice. He knew ahead of time that his roommate might try to video him again, and so he was prepared for the laptop to be on that evening. He closed it, thereby preventing a second transmission.</p>
<p>"Previously, he had posted on twitter a number of times about his roommate’s sexual orientation, and he posted that he had read Tyler’s posts on a gay message board. (I wonder how he knew that, and whether he was spying on him even before the first webcam incident.) "</p>
<p>Ravi-- closeted gay, perhaps? What straight guy would want to film and watch gay sex or check out gay message boards?</p>
<p>Northstarmom, my thoughts exactly. It’s as if he was obsessed with his roommate’s homosexuality. But this is a pretty common pattern among homophobes.</p>
<p>As for whether this can be characterized as a “mistake”, or as evil, I’d like to ask where is the mistake in this? This was a calculated, premeditated, repeated action by the roommate. This was an evil act, however banal.</p>
<p>I agree, mousegray. This was not a mistake, and it was not a prank. Short-sheeting is a prank.</p>
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<p>I agree. Does anyone disagree? Does anyone think it was appropriate for him to kill himself?</p>
<p>Of the three young people involved, the one who made the biggest mistake in this sad story is Tyler. Actually there are four young people involved- I hope the partner has been identified and is being counseled appropriately.</p>
<p>It is a no-brainer to say that the two kids who violated Tyler’s privacy did something extremely mean and hurtful. It is a no-brainer to teach young people that they shouldn’t violate other people’s privacy.</p>
<p>But it is even more important to remind young people that they should not kill themselves.</p>
<p>I would not say that suicide is ‘never’ the answer. It may be appropriate in terminally ill patients or under some other circumstances. But suicide kills way too many of our young people, for senseless reasons. And this not a sensible reason to commit suicide.</p>
<p>Really? Do you actually think most people who commit suicide are capable of being “sensible”? Is it just that simple, snap out of it, be sensible, don’t jump off that bridge or blow your brains out. Really???</p>
<p>^^^^No kidding. I am always just amazed when people go on and on about how suicide is not a “rational decision.” Of course it isn’t! Hello!!! These people are not thinking rationally! They are NOT in their right minds. They are either clinically depressed, or have serious impulse control problems, mental illness, are on drugs, or are chemically imbalanced in some way. </p>
<p>It’s like arguing with a drunk…are you seriously thinking you are going to have a logical, rational conversation? Of course you aren’t…</p>
<p>I agree that suicide is (with rare exceptions) an irrational act. But I disagree with the suggestion that suicide cannot be prevented. It is not right to simply shrug your shoulders and say ‘Oh well, they are irrational, you can’t reason with them’.</p>
<p>If anyone you know is contemplating suicide try to get help to them. One resource is the National Suicide Prevention line: 1-800-273-8255. </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/[/url]”>http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/</a></p>
<p>There are many other resources. </p>
<p>Suicide is a big killer, especially among the young. Here is a reference:</p>
<p>[Suicide</a> Trends Among Youths and Young Adults Aged 10–24 Years — United States, 1990–2004](<a href=“http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5635a2.htm]Suicide”>Suicide Trends Among Youths and Young Adults Aged 10--24 Years --- United States, 1990--2004)</p>
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<p>I realize that people want to put the focus on the roommate and his accomplice and what they did, but the real scandal of this story is that this young man had no support system, nobody he could turn to for help when he most needed it. Nobody who could show him the folly of what he was about to do- the folly of what he did.</p>
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<p>only if it can be proven that the kids streamed the stuff because the roommate was gay. That would seem very hard to prove, but maybe they can do it.</p>
<p>
You’ve unwittingly touched on something that no one here or in the national media has mentioned. This young man had been at college all of three or four weeks. He was sexually active with one or more other young men, presumably people he had only just met. It’s common for young people to be hooking up in casual liaisons, but it’s also poor health behavior. Despite having one or more “partners”, he apparently didn’t feel that he could turn to them for help.</p>
<p>This is kind of related… just came out yesterday/today: Duke student rates her sexual conquests.</p>
<p>[How</a> Karen Owen and Tyler Clementi Lost Control - Kashmir Hill - The Not-So Private Parts - Forbes](<a href=“http://blogs.forbes.com/kashmirhill/2010/10/01/how-karen-owen-and-tyler-clementi-lost-control/]How”>How Karen Owen and Tyler Clementi Lost Control)</p>
<p>does this girl deserved to be criminally punished? IMO she does.</p>
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[Karen</a> Owen Duke University List - Karen F. Owen Thesis](<a href=“http://news.spreadit.org/karen-owen-duke-university-list-karen-f-owen-thesis/]Karen”>http://news.spreadit.org/karen-owen-duke-university-list-karen-f-owen-thesis/)</p>
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<p>I totally agree. As someone who has battled clinical depression at various times, starting in my early teens, I completely identify with the abject desolation it engenders, the depth of emotional pain it causes. There’s nothing like it on the planet. Only people who have never experienced the kind of depression that invites serious ideations of suicide would marginalize the pain and despair it brings. Yes, in the absence of hope and serious intervention, suicide seems like a the only way to end the pain. My heart aches for Tyler. I only hope Ravi and Molly come to a full understanding of exactly what it is they’ve done. Once they come to terms with that, maybe they’ll even have a shot at being decent human beings someday.</p>
<p>^I absolutely agree, last year around this time I had sunk into terrible depression (it wasn’t SAD) and for a long time suicide seemed like the best course of action for me. To this moment I’m not sure how the chain of events came about that allowed me to pull myself back out – it wasn’t anything profound… it was more like I decided the day I was planning on taking my life that my method of ending it (which probably wouldn’t have worked anyway) would permit me to live at least six more months before I made a decision one way or another. I merely chose to see how those 6 months played out and while I can say they weren’t exactly “happy” events lined up that made the idea of living seem less painful. Those who don’t understand have no business talking about it.</p>
<p>Most certainly it was out of proportion for this kid to kill himself, but for a shy teenager, who hadn’t revealed himself as a homosexual…100% predictable. Just my opinion, but those 2 kids killed him as surely as if they pointed a gun at him and pulled the trigger. Perhaps unknowingly, but such obvious results. My heart breaks for Tyler’s family, and I hope they lock Molly and Ravi up for a long time. Some examples are worth making. You can’t violate someones privacy in such an obscene way without paying the price.</p>