<p>This weekend H and I were visiting our son and DIL, who live in Boston. I showed this thread to my DIL…and told her that if I EVER resemble any one in this thread, to confront me and make me knock it off!</p>
<p>It’s so funny…sometimes I think that I, the MIL, needs to walk on eggshells because I don’t ever want to upset my DIL, or by extension, my son–whom I fully expect to support his wife. As he should!</p>
<p>And I know that sometimes my DIL is still a little nervous around me.</p>
<p>But we both have the attitude that we WANT to get along and we both always try to make each other happy…and as we get to know each other better, it gets easier and easier to have a good relationship.</p>
<p>I don’t know why more MILs don’t make the initial effort to make it work…we are the adults in the situation, we have inlaw experience…I enjoy my son, I want to enjoy my grandchildren when they arrive…and why wouldn’t I want to add a daughter instead of lose a son?</p>
<p>not yet a mil, but I enjoy that my s brings his gf around and I genuinely like her. they have a sweet relationship and that’s key to me. maybe we are more self aware in our generation of how these issues can play such a deteriorating role in future family relationships, but I see my contemporaries who are mils and they have welcoming, positive relationships with their sils and dils. so maybe we are moving forward as a species,
I’d like to think so.</p>
<p>Yes, boysx3, I think the difference is that you are normal. These difficult MILs have personality disorders that could probably be diagnosed and treated if they would go in for therapy. But their generation doesn’t do that, so we DILs have to get the therapy to deal with them.</p>
<p>boysx3 - yes, me too when the time comes.
I agree that there are plenty of people with emotional issues, personality orders, etc. My SIL is very emotionally unhealthy and is estranged from her entire family. She would love to be estranged from all of us too! We love my brother and want to be a positive force in their kids’ lives, so we do our best to keep in contact and not overreact to her craziness (it’s hard)! My MIL is so damn insecure and so overly adoring of my H that every moment with her is tough. On the other hand, all the other relatives are a real blessing. We may not always appreciate EVERYTHING about each other, but there is a real fondness and bond between us.</p>
<p>my older sister had a rotten mother in law from her late husband…she vowed to become the best mother in law she could be, but unfortunately , both of her sons have kind of awful wives and they take advantage of her</p>
