<p>The most upsetting thing that I know of was when an in-law gave a “Divorce in HI” book (talking about how assets were divided after a divorce, since she was convinced the new fiance was just after money) to her newly afianced brother. The young man showed it to his intended who just shrugged it off and eventually went on to have a pretty good relationship with the SIL. Many of these in-laws are much, much more challenging and I admire those who can still have cordial relationships with the monster-in-laws, especially for the sake of the kids.</p>
<p>Oh my! There are some NASTY mother in laws out there! </p>
<p>Time wounds all heels!</p>
<p>If I knew where she lived I would run over to her house and pull up all the flowerd her garden)</p>
<p>Ellebud, I totally sympathize with you. I have Stage IV lung cancer and am in the battle of my life, and my MIL seems to think this is an appropriate time to let her son know what she thinks of me. Jeez, couldn’t she wait until after the funeral? I think she is jealous that I am getting all the attention. She’s done me one big favor - I have forgotten about my cancer for a whole week since she started dropping her s#%*bombs!</p>
<p>Oh…we held my fil’s memorial in our home. We paid for it, organized it, and two days before the memorial service I had a pet scan to make sure that I didn’t have bone cancer. It was a very serious (but wrong) initial diagnosis.</p>
<p>It was a very show business crowd. This means everyone was networking. One true gentleman, everyone would know him, came over to thank us for such a nice memorial. He then wanted to know how we knew my fil. I told him that my husband was the youngest son. He looked confused…and finally said I thought he only had one child. When I introduced my husband I mentioned that my husband was also a son. One person tried to argue with me…</p>
<p>Then my mil said a few words…about her life and her society accomplishments…and then thanked her son (not my husband) for his care and how he was the perfect son.</p>
<p>Top that one!</p>
<p>Tp: we crossed posts. I sent you a pm. I mean every word.</p>
<p>elle, what does BIL (the other son) say about all this? Is he as (insert your own adjective here) as his mom?</p>
<p>My MIL has 8 grandchildren - 4 biological & 4 adopted. Before dementia set in, she always noted the adopted ones when she introduced them to others. The oldest is married and she always refers to her as his Japanese wife (as if he has another one?).</p>
<p>Wow ! I am glad my mother in law doesn’t speak a word of English !!</p>
<p>We didn’t speak to them for years. My husband was very close to his brother growing up. His wife (disinherited by a formerheiress to a railfoad fortune) won’t let Jews in her house unless business is involved. Adam Sandler…yes…my son…he hoped my son would hire him.</p>
<p>My bil is a whore. He goes where the money is: he is 64 and his lived off his wife and his parents. Did I mention that he charges his mother rent for the “guest house”. His allegience is to the one with money. And, he goes cheap.</p>
<p>…he does talk to my husband when he needs free advice .</p>
<p>OMG i was so lucky! I met my H through my MIL–she was my HS English teacher. Became friends after I graduated, and she actively promoted my relationship with her son. She died at 59, way too young. Still miss her. And feel for you who haven’t had that more fortunate relationship.</p>
<p>I’m speechless that there are people who are so awful and cruel.</p>
<p>The day before my wedding, I was home alone trying to decide which of the 8 pairs of shoes I bought was right. I was happy and giddy — and missing my own parents who died years earlier. MIL called me, heard the excitement in my voice and asked if I had been drinking all day.
It’s gotten worse, so much worse since then…</p>
<p>My MIL did not invite us to a family dinner when my SIL and family came to visit from HI. My son was 3yrs. old, in the process of being diagnosed with severe ADHD and would “upset” his very quiet, well behaved 5yr. old cousin. Mind you, I was on top of my poor son constantly. Found out years later that my FIL used to pick him up and shake him to “get him to listen”. Nice, if I had it to do over, I would have severed ties immediately.</p>
<p>…and called the police? I am so sorry EC…hugs to you and your son.</p>
<p>Thanks, ellebud!</p>
<p>Said to ME when I came to pick my kids up after they spent three days with their grandparents: “I have come to realize that I DON’T like children.”</p>
<p>Seriously.</p>
<p>thumper,actually I can understand your MIL’s response. I really actually loved my mother in law, whose memorial service was last weekend( age 91). I had the privilege of being with her at the end. However, she was not perfect. The things that stand out- I was so overwhelmed with my first kid and she implied (as a 50’s mom) that everything should be easy and not questioned (as though I was lacking by even bringing up how hard it is with infants and toddlers). Also, at Thanksgiving one year (when kids were about 5 and 8), they were roughhousing and she told me what a “mess” they were. The nice things far outweigh any of this. It seems universal that we care about what our mothers and MIL’s say and do, particularly when we have kids. All in all, I think I was pretty lucky to have a great MIL. All the best to those of you still dealing with mothers in law who are difficult.</p>
<p>My MIL is sweet, but kooky. She is into EXTREME new age stuff. She asked for photos of all of us so she can “work” on us. Whenever I mention that any of us is sick, she goes into action and tells me we need more {fill in the blank with some obscure herbal remedy}. She sends big boxes filled with bottles of stuff for us to take.</p>
<p>Although she was trained as a psychiatrist, she now thinks that psychiatric meds are harmful and gets upset when DH tells her what the boys are on (and no, I don’t know why he told her!).</p>
<p>During my first pregnancy, she “dowsed” me (swung a crystal over my belly) and said that there was a 95% chance that the baby was a girl. She was wrong.</p>
<p>Sevmom…our kids are and we’re very well behaved when visiting others. I thought it was mighty rude to make a comment about not liking kids at the time it was made. Oh…I forgot to mention…MIL invited the kids for the visit. I understood what she was saying but the timing of the comment was “off”, in my opinion.</p>
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<p>That’s my thought reading this. I know someone’s MIL was so bad that she broke their marriage. I feel lucky to have a nice mom and a nice MIL.</p>