My youngest self reported herself to the honor board at her college for something last week. Scared the bejeesus out of me (one month before graduating – would NOT be pleasant to have something cause an issue with that). 
But I also know she did the right thing, and was proud of her. She got off without having a hearing or any action taken, and I expect it was because she self reported. It wasn’t a major infraction, but at least now she doesn’t have to worry.
Me, it’s a 10 absolutely. It is the way I was raised.
I value integrity more than honesty.
Aren’t integrity and honesty interconnected?
Yes but they are not the same thing. I can be honest but lack integrity.
integrity=honesty + ethics? trying to think of examples but it is clear to me
Honesty can be an excuse for meanness as well. Sometimes white lies are much kinder than total honesty. (“Honestly, sweetie, there is nothing you could wear that does NOT make you look fat.” That is just mean.)
9.8
@HImom, there is no such thing as brutally honest. There is honest brutality, which is what you describe, and there is speaking the truth in love, which is what I prefer.
I avoid this issue by teaching a course which most of my students are required to take and of which there are only a few options for professors, all of which fill by the time class starts. My RMP ratings might say “avoid if possible” but for most of them, it isn’t.
Aren’t there times when not being “honest” is a matter of self-preservation? Or the “truth” in question is not germane to the relationship? And don’t many, many people spread things they only believe to be true as if they indisputably are? I think the question is a lot more complex than just a scale of 1 to 10 can convey.
I like people who do what they say, and say what they do. Not sure that’s completely the same, but I am very annoyed by people that just say what others want to hear.
I am pretty sure my mom would have claimed she “spoke the truth in love”. But it was really just an excuse to be tactless & sometimes mean to those closest to her.
I can’t find it now but someone brought up that people in certain roles, such as in government, are expected to be honest, that is part of their job. That has gone out the window. Maybe it happened long ago and I am just recently noticing it. That is a problem. That sets the tone basically for young people who see it and realize just lie your ass off in any situation with no shame or regret whatsoever. There really are no “checks and balances” or as many as we think in government or in corporate America. Executive orders allow the POTUS to circumvent congress including starting wars if he or she wants. And the justification for starting the war could be totally bogus. Pure lies. And it is perfectly fine. No big deal. No one will get fired or anything.
I read some news article online about Marissa Mayer, the out going Yahoo CEO, who is going to make I think it was $157M in compensation on her way out the door even though the stock has gone down during her tenure. That hasn’t been approved by Yahoo shareholder’s yet but it is expected to be. That is outrageous at every level yet no one cares.Yet the guy working down at the factory will not make enough to be above the poverty line. Okay, so maybe I’m talking about income inequality not lying now, I’ll try to get back on topic.
I don’t think it is just in government or celebrities, I think people of all walks of life just are not very honest as a general observation.
If the trend continues toward less honesty and greater acceptance of dishonesty, expect a more corrupt future that is both less pleasant and poorer overall (even if some who are skilled at playing the corruption game do better).
Like a banana republic.
As an adult adoptee, I value it very highly because I’ve gotten so little of it, at least on an emotional level.
This is a tough topic in an era where having a different point of view makes you a liar.
I will note an observation from Warren Buffett about what makes a good employee. If I recall correctly, he mentioned high intelligence, high energy, and integrity. And he noted that integrity was the most important one, because if you had either of the other two without it, you had yourself a very big problem.
I believe that trust is the foundation of relationships. Lying or other forms of dishonesty damage those relationships. This can happen between individuals or in businesses or politics. Lying is a form of manipulation. Yes, it’s common, but it doesn’t make individual relationships or our society stronger.
Question for the board:
Is lying/lack of integrity/manipulating popular because half the people do it and get away with it and get ahead based on it without consequences?
If so, what are honest people supposed to do? Stay honest or play the game?
That is the $64 question.
9 together with high integrity and kindness. That felt odd, I dont usually rate myself lol