You aren’t sure you can live in a dorm - then where ?
Hmmm I’m not sure how Hofstra and Adelphi, assuming they can meet your needs, aren’t the best option.
Taking the LIRR and subway are possible but miserable.
You should think of support and convenience.
These two, if they can meet your support needs, might be your best bets.
At your age, everything seems urgent but you have plenty of time. Even if you have to take some time off, you’ll be fine.
nowhere… I don’t know, to be honest I feel like I’m not very self-sufficient on my own. I can survive the airport…heh…maybe because I actually love flying and stuff like that and I trust myself more at the airport than living in a dorm.
I’m a pretty messy person. Mentally, and physically. My workspace is flooded with papers, I know what I need to get done but it requires me having everything laid out, and making plans for everything.
Like my to-do list for this week for example:
No idea why, but I don’t like the idea of being situated at a school right in my backyard…
Key word: if…I don’t know if ANY school is willing to because my disability is so specific. It might be easier to accommodate my mental health needs…
This is key.
(by the way, @mainelonghorn, I have a college application quote book. It’s real, and on my phone–this just made it. Thank you for your unwavering advice.)
I am going to take a step back here because there is a lot to unpack in your posts. I agree wholeheartedly with @MaineLonghorn’s excellent advice. Your mental health and well being should be priority number one. No one responding to your post knows you, the extent of your issues or whether you are or will be ready to live away from home. Absolutely keep a few commutable places on your list.
When we talk about “accomodations” and what that looks like in college, the Americans with Disabilities Act requires colleges to provide reasonable accommodations. For your speech and language impairments that would mean things like extended time, use of the university testing center to provide a distraction free test environment, a note taker, ability to use adaptive technology or record lectures etc. My college student is dyslexic and all of those things are routinely granted pretty much every where. At this point in the application process, you should be looking at the student disability services web pages for your colleges of interest. You will find a ton of information about what documentation will be required and how the process works with each university. Generally, after you have committed to attend a university you will submit your required documentation and have an intake interview with someone from disability services. Once approved a letter will be sent to your professors detailing your accommodations. It is important to note that information you provide to disability services is not shared with either admissions or your professors. You do not need to disclose your diagnosis to anyone unless you want to. My kid generally talks to his profs at the beginning of the semester about his accomodations and goes to them a week or so before exams to set up use of the testing center. As an aside, for most of his classes about 1/4 of the students have similar accomodations, so any initial feeling of “stigma” about using his accomodations was quickly alleviated.
Now you have also mentioned mental health concerns and possibly needing occupational therapy. Neither treatment for psychiatric issues or occupational therapy are “accomodations”. Most colleges have mental health services available, fewer offer occupational therapy. At my kid’s school I hear a lot of complaints about the availability of counseling appointments. Your best bet usually is to continue with your current therapist via telehealth. (My father in law is an adolescent/young adult psychiatrist and all of his college students regardless of where they attend have chosen to do this rather than rely on campus health services).
Also keep in mind that at this stage, it is very helpful to have a parent or another adult like a learning specialist help you sort out what accomodations and services you are going to need in college as well as which schools will best align with your needs. Good luck
Great post. My son was required to speak to each professor. Maybe it differs from school to school.
Wow, thank you for this excellent post! I am so grateful you stumbled on this thread.
So true–if you all knew me IRL, I don’t think I would be kept for a while. Unless you’re @blossom…who also seems to enjoy feeding me new obsessions by the day.
I will be talking to my parents, actually- about this.
Schools like Adelphi, Hofstra, LIU, and some others are currently being re-looked at by me because of the unwavering dedication of everyone who has a goal to help me help myself on this thread. I commend you all.
These would be super great…I hope wherever I attend gives me something quite similar or of the same nature.
I have been doing that, but not to a huge extent. I know they exist, but I have been on my supplement essays for so long that I keep forgetting to do my homework on the specific Disability Offices.
I mean…as noted earlier in this forum, my self-advocacy skills are still in development, but I am big on disclosing my disability!!..pretty much everyone in my school knows, actually-
This sounds like a great plan. I need to remember this when I go to college.
Great…I hate the stigma both attached to mental, physical, learning/intellectual disabilities because I’ve dealt with it many times. It bothers me. It really does. Hence why I’m writing a (possibly published?! I hope!) novel to address it.
Yes, I know this – I probably will need to get help for that outside of college. That’s what my school’s psychologist told me, anyway.
I really, really, really hope she’s open to wherever I go so we can meet over Telehealth. I hate moving away from great people. I really do.
If I read this correctly, my “learning specialist” would be my case manager/special education teacher who is assigned to me, right? Or would that be an actual college learning specialist?–as I know colleges also have those.
Honestly, required or not, if I have to do it (but in a 1:1 setting), then I’ll do it. I’m not ready to broadcast to the world of college that I’m learning disabled and have mental health issues so we shall see.
Thank you for this informational post, @Greatpyrmom. You have taught me so much.
My student simply clicks a button each semester that he wishes for accommodations to continue the upcoming semester and the professors are automatically sent an email. That has been our experience at 2 schools.
However, if my student actually wants extra time then he would either need to discuss with professor (because they likely can’t keep track of it all) and/or sign up to take exams in the disability office but he has never done that.
So I think its a bit of both, generated by disability office plus the student needs to double check with the professor.
Wrong post sorry
See, this is nice- If I could do that, I don’t have to say anything. I can sit in a corner and be like, I know I have these accommodations, but if the professor knows, why say it to them? Like that alone takes away the self-advocacy element.
ETA: removed question and reply and put in following post (#70)
Question for the parents in the thread - I’m curious…as a parent, what is your role in the whole accommodation process? Do you do anything?
Because with my IEP and stuff my parents are in an open communication with both of my support teams (one is disability-based/the other is mental health or safety in a school setting based) and I hear college is a lot different. Is this true?
Anyone can answer this!
Collegeis a lot different. You, the student, will be the one who needs to self advocate. This will be an expectation…and it’s something you need to learn anyway…because it will prepare you for life after college.
Self advocacy is something we worked on in my school with kids as young as kindergarten.
Well, isn’t that great…I’m being sarcastic, fully. I have no idea really where to start, but I can try to make small efforts…even if it makes me want to regret it immediately after.
Normally when I self-advocate I normally get really really nervous and in my head I start to freak out. Once that happens, my body gets really hot (anxiety :[ !!!).
Like today I went up to my English teacher and told her,
“I’m so behind on annotations because I’m so fixated on making the annotations colorful and writing down every single thing I think makes sense in the context of the story! And if i’m not doing that, I’m annotating for why I think characters may be neurodivergent or have mental health issue(s)! And that takes a lot of time!”
And she told me that I shouldn’t be over annotating/analyzing…as it takes away from my understanding. She saw my Chapters 1-5 annotations and complimented me on how nice they were. But still, she replied: ‘Just try and focus on the themes we’re trying to annotate for.’
I can’t do this. I want to look into Robert Cohn being neurodivergent. Maybe he’s autistic? And maybe Jake has PTSD because of all that Brett has done to him. But I don’t know. I need to know. I need to annotate this. I need to write a document on this.^
^These are my thoughts when I question my annotations. They come into my head a lot, and sorry for my tangent oops.
I’m impressed. Um, I was in a special class in kindergarten and the only self-advocacy I had was expressing aloud without raising my hand that I needed help opening my snacks and lunch containers. And I know this because I still own my preschool IEP, which stated I needed help/prompting to do a lot of things and put myself in a lot of things. I withdrew from anything too socially demanding or put me in the spotlight.
Wow, another tangent. Sorry.
The point is, I need to work on it. A lot. Big time. And college sounds intimidating and scary without it. Maybe that’s a sign that I’m not college ready, and everyone who says that I’m ready is lying. And now I’m spiraling out of control with these thoughts.
Most parents with students with disabilities are doing a lot of the legwork. If you are in a specific program for students with disabilities within a college (often a fee based program) the parents are very much in the loop with what is going on.
Where are your parents in this process? I really recommend you allow the adults in your life to help you with the college search.
I have nothing to do with my son’s accommodations in college, they will not speak with me (which is fine). Typically universities with talk financials with parents, that’s it. Professors don’t interact with parents, parents can’t contact RA’s, I do not have access to my kids’ grades but a Féria waiver can be filled out for parents to see final grades. I do not have access to their advisors or department heads. It’s very different from HS (but I really wasn’t involved there either unless we had a serious issue).
Saying this with love and a hug–
Your health and well being is the most important thing going on in your life right now. College will still be there in a year if you decide to defer. College admissions will still be there in a year or two if you decide to graduate from HS and work for a while, or volunteer, or a combination of writing, working, etc.
I know you are very aware of your mental health challenges, but your posts sometimes bounce between “everything is great” and “I am having trouble regulating my thoughts”.
Please have an honest conversation with your therapist and your parents. If you are in a panic over college-- trust me, it’s not going anywhere. I know many successful people who didn’t start college at age 18. They went at 20 or 22 or 25 when they were physically, mentally or financially ready. And they got an education when they were ready to tackle college.
Hugs to you. You can get the supports you need and get an education- when you are ready to access those supports. If the thought of having to discuss your needs with professors is putting you into a panic, then kick the can down the road, share these thoughts with your therapist, and work on the issues right in front of you instead of the future “maybe kinda sorta” issues.
My son was probably a special case, because he was so seriously ill, but both his schools were willing to work with me. I was in direct communication with them.
Of course, that should have been an indicator that S wasn’t really capable of finishing college, but we were in denial. He got through most of his junior year in math before having to drop out, though. I’m glad he got that much education.
Excellent advice. 
My husband dropped out as a college senior in education because he wasn’t happy, bounced around the country for a few years, and then went back to school for engineering when he was 28. Lucky for me, because when we met in grad school, he was almost 31 and I was 22. We never would have met if he hadn’t taken the circuitous path.
Here are my 5 cents. You need to be comfortable in college and not overstressed. I do not believe your heavy top schools list will do that.
I would consider the following (speaking from experience):
Ohh… I have looked into the fee-based programs (such as those at Clemson, Marist, Northeastern) and honestly I would rather not apply to them. It sounds like high school special education services all over again.
They are helping! I just have not mentioned them on this thread – I discussed with them that I don’t want to do a special program for a fee and would rather apply for Academic Accommodations and gave them the according reasons why.
I’ve actually heard that! So, it makes sense now.
To everyone else: I am not deferring a year. Just no.
That’s reality for me, though. I’d be lying if I said college applications are a breeze.
I don’t want to defer at all. I can do it.
I’ve been working on self-advocacy since 9th grade. I just need to break out of my shell. I’m ready come time next year.
My therapist knows I’m worried that I’m not going to get in anywhere. So, we discuss it every time I see her.
That’s nice!
Happily ever after…for real!
Guys. I just want you to know. I:
Sorry, but I feel you have wrong attitude.
At least go to local (regional school) and start part time.
You have no idea how many students get burned first year, end up with serious depression and some never graduate.
