<p>How in the world do people keep secrets? I received some amazing news last week but was told I can’t tell anyone…but I find myself wanting to blurt it out every time a friend calls. I can’t stand it. Any tricks? I’ve asked when I can start telling people the news, but don’t have an answer yet. Its been over a week and I’m just about to burst. Oh goodness me.</p>
<p>this is very secret-dependent. What is the news, exactly? ;)</p>
<p>Why don´t you tell us. We won´t tell.</p>
<p>Don’t ask me. I cannot keep a secret. I usually tell someone I know has no connections to the person who told me already. If I am desperate, I can tell DH because he can keep a secret.</p>
<p>Since yours sounds like a happy secret, here’s my tip: When tempted to spill, I imagine the person for whom I’m holding the secret. I remind myself that it’s their joy to tell others the news (as they did tell me). I don’t want to diminish their joy. That keeps me in line and I stay disciplined.</p>
<p>THEN, by the time I actually get formal “permission” from them to spill publicly, I find half the world already has heard it. I tell someone (after hearing I have permission) and their eyes glaze; “oh, yeah, we’ve known that for a week.”</p>
<p>Don’t tell me. I don’t like secrets. I’m an open book. Did manage to hide plans for H’s 50th surprise birthday party a decade ago, though- probably because others knew and it was only one person to keep things from.</p>
<p>I am good with keeping a secret if I know I should. If I absolutely MUST tell someone, I tell H. He is very good about keeping his mouth shut and will never tell anything if I ask him not to. Hopefully you are close to someone like this.</p>
<p>Oh, goodness, its nice to read that some others aren’t good at keeping secrets. oldfort & Doinschool, I’d really love to tell but I had to sign something saying I wouldn’t tell. I truly am just bursting! I’m trying to focus on other things, but its not working.</p>
<p>How about writing your thoughts down for future reference? It might help. It might really thrill future readers.</p>
<p>You have to PROMISE to tell us when it is appropriate. Are you going to give us any clues or just torture us?</p>
<p>it has to be related to:
babies
lottery
marriage</p>
<p>or all three!</p>
<p>I don’t really have any secrets of my own but I have no problem keeping others secrets. It’s just not your place to steal someones thunder or air their dirty laundry for them. I can’t fathom the impulse to do so.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’ve never felt a strong desire to spread negative news, but I have several times wanted to spread good news - not because I wanted to steal any thunder, but because I took joy from someone else’s good fortune.</p>
<p>OP since you had to sign something, can you tell us if it was personal or professional?? SO curious :)</p>
<p>I think it’s a new baby! :)</p>
<p>Mafool, I would add a job or promotion to your list. </p>
<p>I am very, very good at keeping secrets. It’s part of my professional life to do so and it easily bled into my personal life. As a psychotherapist, I know that confidentiality is the bedrock of therapy, I know the consequences for breaching, etc. so it’s easy. But I’ve carried that mentality into my personal life, believing that keeping information secret, when asked, is an important element of a relationship and that breaching a confidence can be highly damaging. I value my relationships more than I value any information I might have, so I keep secrets. I consider it a privilege to do so and a sign of trust, and I want to be deserving of that trust. So my advice would be to remind yourself that the relationship is more important than being able to tell and that, in due time, you will be able to share it.</p>
<p>OLM, PM me privately, since we’ve known each other for years. I suspect your son has gotten great job, into a gt grad program, or engaged. He’s far too young to have won the Draper Award or anything else that spectacular.</p>
<p>mazel tov</p>
<p>mimk6, well said. I completely agree. I handle employee benefits so I am often aware of someone’s serious illness, the cause of a disability, or a pending divorce. I certainly wouldn’t spill those beans at work, and if I do share something interesting with someone outside of work, it’s on an anonymous basis.</p>
<p>I try to remember that it’s not my news to share.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Well I’ve never heard of someone having to sign a piece of paper promising to keep the secret that there’s a new baby coming.</p>
<p>I think the secret has something wonderful to do with Oakland mom herself, or she wouldn’t have had to sign a paper.</p>
<p>Whatever it is, it does sound like it is great news, so my congratulations to fortunate person!</p>
<p>I am good at keeping confidences. I have recognized that, while I have no trouble keeping bad news and unhappy information to myself, the really good, happy stuff does seem to want to bubble up.</p>
<p>Maybe Oakland mom could sell her secret to the highest CC bidder???</p>