<p>Zoosermom: sitting right next to him, and yes. She just rolled her eyes and sighed.</p>
<p>Wow. That is quite the couple.</p>
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<p>You get the classic magnet school student.</p>
<p>She was about seventy years old, so I think she was used to her husband’s humour…? Maybe?</p>
<p>All I know is that I dated the son for a year after that, and I really should have just cut my losses right then and there. ;)</p>
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<p>Sue, I know you were likely kidding when you mentioned discussing grandbabies but I just wanted to point out that it’s best to describe her as Asian, not Oriental. Many Asians find the Oriental description to be offensive.</p>
<p>Meeting a significant other should be an enjoyable event, so don’t stress about it. You’ll all eat breakfast and chat about the two of them. With them living in NYC and being involved in the same mentoring program, there is a long list of suitable topics of conversation. Keep it light and pleasant and I’m sure all will go well! And, yes, you should pay for breakfast. Have fun!</p>
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Many of my older friends and/or parents of significant others have said things like, “When I was young, other people paid for me; when you are our age, pay for young people. Don’t pay me now; pay it forward.”</p>
<p>My son is engaged. I remember when I first met her. They came here for brunch. As they were about to leave the future Ms. Ellebud turned to me and said, “Thank you for raising such a wonderful man.” Note: Excellent way to end a brunch.</p>
<p>Do not show baby pictures, funny stories and share…toilet training stories. Do not ask about income or what they think about giving you grandchildren. DO NOT talk politics: she is from the lefty liberal, never go on vacations because they are frivilous expenditures. </p>
<p>And smile…just smile.</p>
<p>“Thank you for raising such a wonderful man.”</p>
<p>my eyes just teared up at the realization that people think about my son that way.</p>
<p>I’m going to be a good listener and a tactful talker. I’ll report back on how it goes. thank you all for your encouragement.</p>
<p>^ You will do fine. Remember, you have already done the challenging thing – raising that wonderful son! Now you will get to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor LOL!</p>
<p>someone posted this years ago. She is the first person listed as the POC.</p>
<p>I will NOT be telling her I googled her. Also can ask about the job she just recently started.</p>
<p>Thank you for this thread! My daughter is bringing home a boyfriend for Christmas and I’m petrified - I will definitely check back and see how it went! I hope it goes well by the way.</p>
<p>If I knew my son could afford it, I would let my son pick up the tab in this situation. He’s a man, taking his mother out to breakfast to introduce his girlfriend. My son would want to pay and I would let him.</p>
<p>I think identifying her like that is over the line. Discretion is the better part of valor.</p>
<p>I’m going to talk to my son tonight about stuff. What not to bring up, who is paying for the meal and anything else he has to say about this introduction. </p>
<p>I don’t want to assume this is the woman he’s going to marry, but I know my son and he wouldn’t introduce me to just a casual friend. </p>
<p>I just got back from Target. Looking at all the parents with youngsters buying back to school stuff makes me feel so old.</p>
<p>When I decided to have my son as a single woman with no help whatsoever from his father or my parents, my goal was to raise him like I wished my parents had raised me. </p>
<p>I feel like I achieved that goal. I look forward to treating my adult son and his future family in a way I wish my parents treated me. They still hold decisions I made when I was 16 against me and have little to do with me or my son.</p>
<p>I was terrified when I met my FMIL. We had already moved in together and I found out the night before he hadn’t even told her about me yet-- talk about non-communicative sons! That first visit was more about mom and son catching up, with some time spent chatting with me to get to know me and making sure I was included in conversations. Even though the visit was about meeting me, she didn’t make it all about me-- which made me feel much less nervous. We have a great relationship now.</p>
<p>Oh boy, oh boy, this is a timely post for me. Only child (D), single parent (me). She has lived in NY for the last 6 years, and last year took a personal sabbatical & went to London for 8 months. Within a few weeks she captured the eye (and heart) of a young man, psych student, who is born and raised in London. He happened to capture her eye (and heart) as well. His friends became hers, and all were happy. She returned to NY in June and now he is headed her way to spend 3 months with her. I desperately want to meet the young man who has captivated her. She has a very steady head on her shoulders and seems to have her feet on the ground. This btw, is her very first “love affair”. They are not talking marriage, but I so badly want to meet him. I’m pinching pennies left and right to make a trip out there (I’m in So Cal) and she is perfectly fine with that. She’s met his family, and he met her Aunt and cousins in the UK (who all say he’s “lovely”). Now it’s my turn! </p>
<p>Do I raid my savings to go, or do I continue to pinch pennies in hopes I can get enough together to go? WWSOD? (What would Suze Orman do?) She says “people first, then money, then things” - is this situation “people”? :)</p>
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But I want to!!! </p>
<p>She will probably ask you something about your work or your hobbies…just give it some thought so you don’t go blank and then blurt out that your favorite hobby is posting on CC:p</p>
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<p>100% agree.</p>
<p>My future MIL used our first meeting as a grilling session. (Do I want kids? Do I go to church? What kind of career do you want?) Please don’t do that. Just enjoy the meal :). She is probably as nervous as you.</p>
<p>Just a note: EVERYONE has googled everyone. My future dil said something at that first brunch that could only come from the internet. My dear girl friend was wonderful what her now son in law looked like…It took me 2 seconds to search. OMG! He is gorgeous! She has googled you…her family has googled you…and you probably will googled her.</p>
<p>In my youth it was a D & B…this is cheaper.</p>
<p>Earlier this year I met my daughter’s first ever boyfriend whom she met at college. We were all equally nervous about the meeting - me, my husband, my daughter, and her boyfriend. Dinner went fine -just talk about normal everyday stuff - work, vacations, where you live, etc. Also, I think as the mother you should pick up the tab (I am old fashioned about these things).</p>
<p>OP, I agree with the poster who said not to use the word Oriental to describe your son’s girlfriend. Carpets are Oriental, people are Asian. And I think you may want to avoid the topic of her race altogether. Race can be a difficult topic to discuss, especially with someone you don’t know. At least that’s been my experience as the white mom of a girl born China. </p>
<p>If you are lucky enough to get grandchildren, I am sure they will be beautiful! But this is very early to mention that!</p>