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<p>Could be true, but that’s different than posting it on a forum where things are supposed to be anonymous. (Side note: that’s why it sometimes pays to have a common name 
). I also wouldn’t bring up something found in a google stalk lol.</p>
<p>I’m going to differ with everyone who says you pick up the check. If one or both were still in school, yes. When they are working, no. Instead, offer to split it. That still means mom is subsidizing them a bit. Yet, it says “I recognize you are a couple” and “I recognize my son is a grown up.”</p>
<p>And, yes, people are Asian. Carpets are oriental.</p>
<p>We go out for a meal with my FMIL around once a month or so, and my fiance always pays. He would never let her pay. I kind of get a kick out of it-- he is taking his two ladies out, I can see it makes him feel good. In contrast, my parents always pay when we go out with them. You can always tell your S in advance that you’d like to host them but want to know if that’s okay with him. I think for some men this can be a pride thing. That is why my fiance pays for his mother and I, and why he allows my father to pay for us.</p>
<p>A year and a half ago, I had the opposite problem- my D had fallen for a young Swedish farmer while she was a sophmore in college. I feel the worst thing to do is mess with your kid’s love choices, and hope that your child will eventually see the light on their own. I had a thread " The Swedish Boyfriend ". My daughter realized on her own that this very nice young man would never encourage her to keep growing.</p>
<p>I met my D’s boyfriend last spring, then again at her graduation. I am a nurse and can be rather plain speaking, and didn’t want to embarrass her. It went fine,he is really easy to be around. Problem is I think he is great, if they break up I will be devastated.</p>
<p>“If they break up I will be devastated”
Keep ALL opinions to yourself! You can have opinions–just don’t voice them. Good OR Bad (but especially bad). Heaven forbid they break up OR get married and your opinions are floating around as a cause of either for eternity.</p>
<p>We met DD’s boyfriend. She invited him to a picnic dinner at our lake. It was very relaxed and a lot of fun. We did not discuss any controversial topic…no religion or politics! It was a very pleasant evening. </p>
<p>If we had gone out to dinner, we would have picked up the tab…with a comment like “we would like to treat you this time. Next time, you can treat”…if they had started a tiff about who was paying!</p>
<p>And let your son pay. He’s taking mom out to dinner as well as GF.
He’s out of school and working and invited you out. Makes him look good in front of GF. Just no tiffs at the table over who is paying.</p>
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<p>Now, zoos, you’re projecting. :D</p>
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<p>No, heavens no. But you knew that. :)</p>
<p>Don’t forget, they aren’t married yet. They aren’t even engaged, are they?</p>
<p>I think people way overreact to this stuff. Be pleasant, polite, and treat her like you would any of his friends. Don’t put the cart before the horse.</p>
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<p>You left out one potential controversial topic… sports teams!</p>
<p>When D2 brought her new boyfriend home to meet us in July, I have to say things could have gone south when we all realized that we’re diehard Packers fans, and he’s a 49ers fan. </p>
<p>We’re likely going to a Packers game in October and are making it a family event - D1 is flying in from Boston with her roommate who she converted to being a Packers fan; since roomies parents often host D1 at their beach house, we are offering to pay for roomies game ticket (the girls are paying their own plane fares) along with D1’s. We made the same offer to D2, to fly her in from CA so she could go to the game with us, but H will NOT include boyfriend in the invitation! Frankly, I doubt boyfriend cares, and likely would not be seen at Lambeau Field, ever. It might be one of those topics that we agree to never talk about in front of each other.</p>
<p>I’m envious. My son is dating a young man and so far my sister and my parents have all met him but I have not. I would love too! </p>
<p>Enjoy your time together!</p>
<p>I don’t recall a single time when we were that age that the parents ever allowed us to pick up a check in a restaurant.</p>
<p>Forget at that age - at any age - until their deaths my in-laws never let us pick up a check - ever!!</p>
<p>I am going to vote no on the “pay ahead” suggestions above. My FIL and BIL used to do that and it made everyone crazy. They would attempt to one-up each other on who would get the bill. It was really an attempt to show who was “most generous” when in fact they were not generous at all in the ways (non-financial) that really count. Just… don’t play games. And IMHO that is all it is to try to beat them to the punch behind their backs on paying the bill. Okay to ask your son ahead of time what he thinks. Or just say when you sit down, “This meal is on me” or something like that. Or ask the waitress for the check near the end and say the same. If they want to pay, let them know they can take you out next time (and then let them).</p>
<p>Oh, gosh… D1 had filled us in on bf’s politics, religion, eating habits, family, pets, Halloween costumes as a child (eerie similarities to D1’s, and they were not common costumes – eg, both were giant squids one year!), sports teams, etc. long before we met him in person! 
So there was no need to avoid topics, we already knew everything. As I expect he knew all about us as well, which was fine. And I love him dearly, and have fingers crossed that he will be my SIL someday soon.</p>
<p>OP - Son bringing a gorgeous and brilliant SO to meet you? All I can add is that you’re one Lucky Sue!</p>
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<p>So sad. And their tremendous loss! </p>
<p>Sue, you’ll do fine. You’re a wonderful person. Own that knowledge and use your common sense (which I can tell you have in abundance). Since you truly want to like S’s girlfriend, want her to like you, and can be pretty sure she feels the same way from her end, the goodwill factor is high. I’m looking forward to hearing all about how wonderfully it all went.</p>
<p>I just said I liked him, no opinions asked or offered.</p>
<p>Relax. Don’t get overcaffeinated. </p>
<p>We met our now-DIL when S1 brought her home for Spring Break during their junior year. Talked about travel, schools, family, jobs (she is English, so it was interesting to learn about the differences), and we even talked politics (risky, but we were all on the same page). Knew it had to be pretty serious if S was bringing her home to our craziness! </p>
<p>We all loved her, but I was a little reserved at first. I wanted to hold off getting attached until they had a better sense of where things were heading. S2’s heart had been broken a couple of months earlier by a young woman he dated for 3.5 years, and it’s fair to say I was still mourning that loss in our lives. </p>
<p>By the end of that summer, S1 had told us he planned to marry DIL, and they were asking us questions about finances, health care, kids, etc. :eek:</p>
<p>LOL, marian!!</p>