<p>I’ll preface this with the fact that I’ve said “No.”</p>
<p>Senior week is apparently the Fort Lauderdale experience for high schoolers only it’s at Ocean City-a 7 hour drive away. They rent places for the whole week.</p>
<p>Son is a Jr who takes his classes with Sr’s since he’s advanced. He’s 17 1/2 and responsible- no drink, no drugs. Doesn’t have his license since he didn’t accumulate 40 hours driving before permit expired.</p>
<p>I haven’t met the kids who have asked him. One is a girl whose uncle supposedly owns a rental there in OC. Haven’t heard a thing about chaperones. My initial thought is the impropriety of the arrangements -possibly (what my own parents would have said to me in the 70’s) even though this is a friend (but with perhaps getting to know you better thoughts…).</p>
<p>He says he won’t get a chance to see everyone past this week since he starts a summerlong NASA internship in 2 weeks.</p>
<p>OK parents–am I being too clingy and worrying too much or is my No decision the wise one. I’m so cruel, you see.</p>
<p>I have been very fortunate that my son never wanted to go on a senior trip and my daughter, who will be a senior next year, has no interest. </p>
<p>My kids know that the senior trips from their schools (to one of the islands) involves drinking, drugging and sex. The class advisor for this year’s group decided he would “coincidentally” go to the same place during the same vacation so he could at least have a bit of an eye on the kids. </p>
<p>What of course is on anyone’s mind is the Alabama girl who disappeared in Aruba. And there were supposedly many chaperones there. </p>
<p>At senior prom time for my son, one of the parents offered up a home on the beach for the after prom party for the entire class. Some parents (me included) called the family to find out what the plans for chaperones were. The host parents acted responsibly – and also didn’t want the liability of sick kids, etc. </p>
<p>So, I think you were right to say no to a junior now. But for next year when he is a senior, plan ahead. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK DETAILS OF THE ADULTS WHO ARE IN CHARGE.</p>
<p>Another suggestion: One of my friends whose daughter wanted to go on a senior trip (also to one of the Islands) arranged instead for the daughter to go with ONE friend some place else very special during the same vacation break. (That some place else was somewhere where an adult could keep a distant eye on the girls.)</p>
<p>I know kids will argue that a few months from now they will be on t heir own to do what they want. Well, fine, that’s later; this is now.</p>
<p>I agree with Bluebayou - senior week is for seniors. Keep your son out of the fast lane until next year. That way he can look forward to something, the reward of the senior week at the END of his excellent High School career when he can celebrate.</p>
<p>Oh, you’re lucky. Your 17 year old <em>asked</em>. Mine just announced to me on Tuesday that she was going off to a cabin with friends (also graduating seniors) on Wednesday, as soon as she finished taking her last final exam. Of course I could have objected - I just found it a rather interesting change that she was now telling (assuming?) rather than asking. She’s gone right now, will be back Saturday.</p>
<p>But every situation is different. For one thing, you said you don’t know the kids who invited your son. When I asked my daughter, “who with?” she gave me the names of 3 kids who she has known since 9th grade - and whom I am very comfortable with. So right there - big difference. </p>
<p>Many other factors come into play - the bottom line is that you know your own kid and have to make a judgment as to what that kid is ready for. And I would tend to be much more wary if my daughter wanted to go off somewhere with someone I didn’t know. The one time I know of where my daughter went to a party and it turned out to be a big mess (drinking, drugs, etc.) was when it was with a kid she hadn’t been friendly with before, going to a party at the house of another kid she didn’t really know. And that was local - my daughter had a fairly easy avenue of retreat from the situation. </p>
<p>So I can’t tell you whether “o.k” or “no way” is the right answer for you. Sometimes you have to listen to your gut sense, and I think your gut is telling you no.</p>
<p>I think we all need to stop being afraid to say no. I had the good fortune to witness spring break in Cancun this year and I came away resolved to not have to make my kids “happy” by allowing participation in sick rituals.</p>
<p>It really is sad when you trust your kids and believe they have good values to have to understand that peer pressure overtakes most teens, especially boys whose frontal lobes are not fully developed until twenty something.</p>
<p>So here is my resolve: No, No, No, No and No.</p>
<p>It is interesting but I think this is truly a regional thing. NOBODY here goes on senior trips! But I have heard of it through my D’s friends from other states. She knew kids who did it without adults during spring breaks senior year and she has a close friend in Philly who is about to do it with his senior friends at the shore. There is nothing like that going on here, so I lucked out :D. I would not be into it without supervision either. I know a kid could say she’ll be on her own next year but time enough THEN to be, not now, that’s my view. I’ve let my kid travel places but always where an adult was present at the place she was staying. I have that rule even for the evening. She can’t go to boyfriend’s house or him here without adult home. Same with parties, etc. Works for me. It is just a given for my kids. It is helpful if parents of their friends are also on the same “page” though. </p>
<p>I’ve seen what happens when you get a bunch of kids at a party with no adult home. Can’t imagine a week some place where the whole concept is partying and celebrating. </p>
<p>Then again, I suppose that is what college is…he he…but again, I am not of the belief that we have to get “ready” for college by being allowed to do that stuff now. </p>
<p>It would be hard, however, if every kid they knew was going on such a trip. I guess I don’t have to think about it so I’m not even gonna go “there”. Lucky me. Day after my D graduates, she is leaving for theater camp. Vermont kids must be behind the times cause I have never heard of this senior trip away thing here, ever. </p>
<p>We don’t have anything like this in our NJ town, either. I was astounded when I heard about the sad news of the Alabama teen who disappeared on the Aruba(!!!???) senior triip. Just not a part of our world. Susan, I think our semi-urban NJ town is very much like you’re rural VT town, in a lot of not so obvious ways.</p>
<p>I did not have a hard time saying “NO” to Ocean City. There is nothing good that happens there that week. They will have all the independence they want in the fall, why rush it. Of course, at the start I was the only parent not allowing it (so he claimed), but as time went on and parents talked, there were a few others who also stood their ground. What we did do however, was find an acceptable safe alternative for the group to have fun for a few days by themselves and not near a crowd of crazy, out-of-control 17-18 year olds at the beach. My son just returned today from a mountain cabin resort trip and had a great time. His other classmates will return this weekend from OC, I pray they return safely.</p>
<p>My suggestion is to talk with other parents and find an acceptable alternative, but stay away from OC.</p>
<p>I also believe this might be a regional (mid-atlantic) thing.</p>
<p>I’m another “NO.” I’ve never heard of any of my kids’ private school classmates doing this kind of “senior week,” although I’ve heard that there is an industry that promotes these sorts of trips, and that some of the public school seniors in our affluent area go to the Caribbean, where they are of legal drinking age and have ready access to drugs. The Aruba incident is just awful, but so predictable, sadly.</p>
<p>I know I’m not a parent, but I do live in Maryland, so I know a ton of people who go to senior week every year. At the risk of sounding totally lame, senior week is really dangerous. Even if you are with good friends, it’s a ton of unchaperoned, drunk, horny high schoolers. Quite frankly, I think the whole idea is kind of trashy (and my mom would never ever let me go). I just think it’s kind of unfortunate that so many people go, yet every year, I hear stories of kids that get hurt up there.</p>
<p>A whole group of my daughter’s classmates from a public school near Philly are doing this. They are renting a house for the boys and a house for the girls at the shore. I said no when my D asked a long time ago, and she whined a little. The kids I know who are going are not wild, but I don’t go for the idea. Fortunately, she has since landed a summer job where asking for a week off as a new employee would not be a good idea, so that has put a stop to her complaining.</p>
<p>I never really wanted to go on a senior trip, as it is a bunch of drinking, out of control high school kids.</p>
<p>Among my friends, quite a few are going on teacher-chaparoned trips to Europe. On them the teachers usually let the kids go out in pairs or small groups, but there is someone there if something goes wrong. Usually it’s at least one teacher per ten kids, I think. (Alot of travel companies will let the chaparoone go free if they get enough kids to go.)</p>
<p>Lots of people also take weekend trips to 3-4 hour away colleges. I guess they’re going to be leaving themselves soon enough, so why not. UT Austin is a popular destination because there is a large summer program.</p>
<p>Again, I go back to the fact that my generation was raised by wolves. We not only went as seniors, we went as sophomores, juniors, and seniors. The Redneck Riviera, Panama City, Forida. We drove the @ 200 miles, not a parent in sight. Half camped out, half crashed 5-6 to a room. I NEVER camped. Sandy underwear-no thanks. </p>
<p>Now that I live in rural Texas probably one third of the kids head to Cancun for senior trip. There are no parents. In D’s high school, over half of the students are leaving home soon after graduation for jobs, not school. They will be living in apartments and working at the tire store or at the grocery store. You see kids like them everyday. Depending on their paycheck for their living. Maybe in rich neighborhoods where parental financial involvement customarily continues into the kids twenties, things are different.</p>
<p>Or maybe it’s just a regional thing.</p>
<p>But I can’t imagine telling a kid “you can’t go to Cancun” as a graduation reward when I know that when he gets back from Cancun he’s working for the city at the Water Department, and will be living at the Sergeant at Arms Efficiency Apartments on La Salle. Remember folks, in many communities kids get married the summer after high school by plan and not by pregnancy. I’m not saying any of this is right, or right for my daughter, I’m just saying not every kid is the same, and your rules for your kid aren’t necessarily proper for another kid.</p>
<p>As for how I’ll handle it? I’ll probably team up with a couple of other parents and see if we can tempt our girls into a trip somewhere other than a GGW (Girls Gone Wild) taping, and I think I’ll be successful since D and her bunch don’t partake, but I expect they’ll be going unchaperoned.</p>
<p>My D has already announced that she and her friends will be taking a cruise next April. (Too bad she doesn’t plan everything else that far in advance).</p>
<p>We told D to let us know which parents will be the chaparones. Then we’ll talk about it.</p>
<p>Our son just walked out the door for Senior Week in OC, Md. He’s a good kid & all his friends are good kids. We went to OC, Md. for Senior Week in 1975. I remember waking up in our rental townhouse with at least 10 extra strange kids on the floor of the living room…that was a little frightening. We had “the talk” & are hoping things go well. When we asked who was going (there are 16 of them) several kids from their usual group were missing. When I asked why I was told that those kids plan to drink & were told they weren’t welcome as part of the group. Perhaps I’m clueless for believing that. Part of me thinks I am. These are all kids that are going to college, so I don’t justify it by saying they’ll be working the rest of their lives. It’s just a tradition here in eastern PA, & I’m hoping for the best. Would I let him go out of the country? No way.</p>