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Jamimom, I think there is also a different situation in terms of house rules when you have raised a large family. You really have a lot of management responsibilities, plus a need to find and impose a set of rules that will be consistent and fair. I mean - each kid IS different, but you’d get a heck of a fight if you told one kid that he wasn’t allowed to do something that a younger sibling could do because you think younger sibling is more responsible. Ouch! And of course with a houseful of kids it is a lot harder to constantly monitor what each one is doing. </p>
<p>The reason I highlighted the above quote is that I couldn’t possibly accept confrontations + unhappy atmosphere in my home. I am a single parent living alone with my daughter, and I cherish the remaining time I have with her. The dynamic in our house is that if we are fighting there is no one to turn to - and we both get tremendously upset - so we both work to avoid confrontation. That means a lot of communication and compromise, but for me it is worth giving in on a few things if it results in an improved relationship. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t some clear boundaries – but those aren’t areas of disagreement for us. Its the fuzzy areas - the same ones that compel a parent to come on a board like this to ask for opinions - where the compromising tends to take place in our 2-person household.</p>