<p>Thanks to all of you for the much-needed support, and for sharing your prom or non-prom memories! I let the prom-less daughter choose our restaurant tonight, and we all went out and had a rolicking, laughter-filled good time. We theorized our daughter was probably much more comfortable in her jeans and oversized sweatshirt than a strapless dress and heels! I think it was the idea of prom that appealed to her, and me, than the actual event. I really hope no one is rubbing her face in it years from now! nceph, that is just plain MEAN! </p>
<p>I agree, 2forcollege, it would be best if they could all just go and have fun together. She could have gone as a “single” but she would have been stuck at a random table. I WILL give her another big hug, and I’m going to take your advice and go shopping with her for a special dress to have at Smith. </p>
<p>Owlice: I expect you are taking tomorrow off from cooking for all of us, and enjoy your day!</p>
<p>Thanks for the Cosentino. I must cut myself off now. Between the IRL and the virtual vino, I’m feeling a little loopy!! Happy Mother’s Day to you all! I hope you have a wonderful and re****l day with your families.</p>
<p>jnsq - I second the recommendation to take your D shopping. It’s good mother-daughter time, and she will probably be so busy once she gets to Smith that she won’t have time to find exactly the right dress. I bugged my D the summer before she began college to try to get a dress or two, but somehow the summer slipped by without even one. Then she spent an entire Saturday during the fall, when she should have been writing a paper, shopping for a dress (including calling me from the dressing room to ask if it fit), only to come up with one she didn’t really like. </p>
<p>As for the mean many-years-post-prom comments, I view them the way Bethievt views those who say their h.s. years were the best ones of their lives. It’s really kind of sad. </p>
<p>And fwiw, my Dorito-eating, non-prom going friend went to Colby. One of the nicest people I’ve ever known.</p>
<p>jnsq- Enjoy the shopping trip knowing that will be a dress that won’t just gather dust in the closet, like those outlandish prom gowns!</p>
<p>Ugh…I finally just checked the U Chicago threads and blog. They started going to the waitlist in a very small way. It doesn’t look good. Meanwhile, the U Michigan T-shirts and glow pen arrived. The size small T’s are huge!</p>
<p>je<em>ne</em>, I will probably still bake. :-D</p>
<p>I won’t see S until after church; he’s at his dad’s this weekend, but I get him for Mom’s Day and didn’t want to fetch him in time for church; too early! I doubt S’ll be thrilled about being with me tomorrow! It will be interesting to see how the day goes. One year, I told him I’d like him to make coffee for me for Mother’s Day, and that was basically me setting up the coffeemaker the night before and him putting a BIG note on the coffeemaker with “TURN THIS ON… Mother’s Day” written on it. And he did (<em>cough</em>) remember to turn it on. I was very very very pleased to walk into the kitchen to find coffee already made and made a big fuss about how much I liked it. ;)</p>
<p>(And I really do like it. H does that now. He’s a doll!!!)</p>
<p>Today, my exH dropped S off so I could take S to guitar, and as exH and I were outside, he said that he and S were still talking over what to do for Mother’s Day. After I came to, I suggested that replanting the porch flower box (three small plants) would be a lovely gift, or basil seeds and starter pots would be good, too, as I’d like basil in the garden this summer.</p>
<p>I’ll probably get a homemade card with “Happy Mother’s Day” in pen on the front and “From S” written on the inside, and no plants or seeds. The kid is not into ceremony nor demonstrative behavior, at all! :D</p>
<p>I wish you, and all moms here, a very happy Mother’s Day!</p>
<p>jnsq - drinking wine IRL makes me feel a little loopy too, which is why I can never drink anymore - I always seem to be on call to drive. In fact, I have to pick S up in 10 minutes! I forgot all about him - oops! I’m glad you and your family had such a good time at dinner tonight - sounds like it was a blast.</p>
<p>You and your D will have a great time dress shopping, and it isn’t likely that people will rub her face in the fact that she missed prom. I agree, that would be quite mean. The school year is ending, and missing prom will be no big deal in the long run.</p>
<p>jnsq - another non-prom attendee here. Six of us went bowling instead since going dateless was <em>not</em> an option in the 70"s. We had a blast until we realized we had inadvertently gone well over what we thought we would spend (all novice bowlers). Had to call the dad who was picking us up to bring extra cash.
This has been a family story for 30+ years. H volunteered to come home from college to take me - I was holding out for Mr X. Good thing I found out he was a flake and H was a keeper…</p>
<p>jnsq
You are awesome and DD must be the same.
I didn’t go to prom, never missed it. Just sent DD off but sad that I didn’t get to help with the dress shopping or before prom party! I was cursed with the shoe shopping which since the age of 2 for DD I ALWAYS made DH do! She found the most awesome ones whew. I don’t know how “friends” leave “friends” out!</p>
<p>jnsq I am so sorry about the friends. Senior year is so hard. DD had a bunch of “friends” that left her out senior year and it hurt. That more than the prom issue. One even lived across the street and woudl invite everyone over except DD. She has moved on but is still a little wi****l sometimes since they all get together when they are home and she often has no one to hang out with when she is at home. Her good friends are at school now, far away, and spread across many states. But she really has little interest in hanging out with them anymore. She finds other things to do. It does not take long for them to leave HS behind and move on.</p>
<p>Not only did I not go to the prom (my D leaves out “the” as in did not go to prom) but my dad hit me so hard the summer of my junior year so I ran away from home and never had a senior year. I never picked a college (went to a place that had room for me and didn’t cost anything to have someplace to live) and missed just about everything.</p>
<p>However, since I’d been at college for a year and my friends hadn’t I was the only one to go to Woodstock. Better than a prom.</p>
<p>Both my kids went. Ready to leave after a half hour. Honestly the shopping was the best part, and a special dress doesn’t need to be a gown.</p>
<p>Still, jnsq: I really understand how you feel. It feels awful when one’s child is left out. These people don’t sound worth knowing, but I know that it hurts just the same.</p>
<p>Things get better after high school. You know they do.</p>
<p>You D sounds so amazing to be able to handle this so well. Often our kids are more mature than we are.</p>
<p>My prom pictures would be enough to scare off anyone from attending that dance. Remember pale-green tuxes??? Yep, I was a child of the seventies.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you had to deal with that kind of abuse! Happy Mother’s Day, and give yourself huge credit for turning yourself into the kind of loving and supportive parent you didn’t have yourself!</p>
<p>Peabodie, my junior prom dress looked like it was made from a faded flour sack-- that whole “granny look” was all the rage. As god-awful as the big-hair 80s prom looks, just in a different direction. </p>
<p>mythmom-- congrats for having overcome your past and risen so far above it.</p>
<p>Happy Mothers Day to all whether with your children today or not.</p>
<p>mythmom - As always, you astound me with you amazing ability to overcome difficulties. You are my hero (and I’m not referring to the 22 men ;)).</p>
<p>S never wanted to go to the prom but has been asked by friends in both junior and senior years, and he has obliged. This year, a few of the girls wanted to go stag, and the boys (S included) asked these girls if they could pick them up (their dates were fine with it since they are all friends) so they do not have to walk into the ballroom alone. I praised him for his thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>Jjnsq - Those “friends” are not worth your daughter’s time. I’m glad she had a great time doing something else much better than a prom. My S told me after the junior prom that he was bored to tears - not because of his date (a good friend) but that the music was so loud, they could not talk.</p>
<p>acme - I ought to burn my prom pictures. What was I thinking?</p>
<p>mythmom - I’m so glad your S is coming home before going to Florence - I know you miss your kids when they’re not around. </p>
<p>mountains - what a considerate S you have - most boys I know wouldn’t have thought of that. It’s too bad that he didn’t enjoy the experience more. I expect D will have a good time at her BF’s prom - they both like to dance and they’re going with a nice group of kids. </p>
<p>I have no prom pictures - I went to a friend’s prom with him - but the whole experience is very hazy, and I don’t remember much about it - probably because I didn’t know any of the people we were with, and I never saw them again…lol. I skipped my own prom - a long story, but nothing tragic - and I can honestly say, I never regretted it.</p>
<p>Your prom stories are funny funny funny, and not at all funny, mythmom. Someone most wise once told me, “Be the parent you wish you had had.” That’s you, mythmom, and I salute you on this Mother’s Day, for all you have done and are doing, despite steep obstacles and harsh odds. </p>
<p>Yeah, the “friends” are not at all friends, but my daughter doesn’t easily get that kind of thing. She makes excuses for their oversights. To open her eyes would be wounding, so we allow her to persist in her misperceptions. </p>
<p>Same daughter made me a Mother’s Day card. One the outside was a little bird in a nest. It said, “The world was big, and I was small, but I always had you…” and on the inside she wrote, “The love and security you gave me then are with me still today, and will be even next year when I’m in college. You’re a wonderful Mom, and the perfect one for me.” </p>
<p>I hope you all are enjoying YOUR day, whether your children are near or far.</p>
<p>jnsq - what a lovely card your D made for you! It brought tears to my eyes. </p>
<p>I did enjoy my day, thank you. We went out for a lovely brunch with most of my family and some of H’s as well. It worked out very well for us - the restaurant was one I selected, so it was close to home (not just for me, but for my mom and for my MIL as well). My other relatives had to travel, but none more than a half hour or so. Now I’m home and have to do a little housework - wash clothes, straighten the rooms - I left things a bit of a mess from yesterday when S had his friends over.</p>
<p>jnsq - These are the moments when I wish I had a daughter; what a beautiful card. S is a fantastic writer but I have yet to see a card written by him. H and S always shop together for a card for me for all events. H is going to miss him when he goes to college. S is a very thoughful child but he thinks it is too touchy-feeling to write “emo” notes to mom.</p>