Seeking Companions for the Vigil

Parent Cafe
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<p>The bit with AP, and IB, too…</p>

<p>IMHO, many high schools put a lot of emphasis on these not just because these are the “rigorous” courses that HSers now “need” to get into college, but also – perhaps primarily – because HSs want to appear on or improve their ranking on the (ridiculous) “best HSs” list that Jay Mathews creates each year, the “Challenge Index.”</p>

<p>I say “ridiculous” because the ONLY thing that is counted is number of butts (can I say that here?) in seats at the AP and IB exams. Well, that, and the number of seniors in the school. </p>

<p>The OUTCOME of those exams doesn’t matter. You could have an entire school, 9th-12th grade, taking AP exams and have no score above a 1, and that school would look just GREAT on the “Challenge Index.”</p>

<p>So, to improve the ranking, schools need only have more kids take AP exams, and for most schools – all schools? – that means having kids take AP courses, regardless of whether they are prepared for or suited to those courses.</p>

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<p>Counting Down, I have contemplated started a thread here for parents of the college class of 2015…!</p>

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<p>Mmmmmm…Constant Comment…nice. Could be my new CC screen name, and such lovely alliteration, too! </p>

<p>Oh, owlice, where were you when we were making such silly decisions these past four years? My poor girl. A lover of knowledge, a true scholar, slogging away in classes she only took in the hopes of that elusive academic brass ring. What does happen to a dream deferred?</p>

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<p>nceph: Point taken, and I’m truly sorry to add any salt to the wound.</p>

<p>Still here for hand holding and congrats.</p>

<p>Yes jnsq: Money has a lot to do with results in colleges that are not need blind. Last year S got rejected at every single one and accepted at almost all need-blind schools with higher credentials. And I’ll join you in a cup of Earl Grey.</p>

<p>Your results were not fair. That’s all there is to say. So sorry.</p>

<p>But it truly doesn’t change the fact that your D is a stellar, brilliant, well educated young lady, and she will shine in life. You will see.</p>

<p>lindz: Too funny!</p>

<p>Another point that hasn’t been raised is that if the college can’t see the worth of your kid, well as a dear guy friend used to say ****'em if they can’t take a joke. Nonsensical, I know, but it always made me feel better.</p>

<p>S applied early to Dartmouth, deferred, then rejected and wait listed at Brown, then off the the wait list. Huh? Dartmouth has 18% studying Humanities which S wanted to do so we thought, great, he’ll fit the bill, they need him. Apparently they are happy choosing their class with the stats of the MSAT. (S did fine, just not his best selling point.) So, we concluded he dodged a bullet.</p>

<p>Bates rejected him and accepted his friend with much lower stats. We figured he didn’t belong there. They were right. He doesn’t. The stories friend tells, and he adores it there, prove S is too cynical/post-modern for Bates.</p>

<p>Accepted at Williams and it fits like a glove.</p>

<p>Now I know that this isn’t relevant for those like jnsq who are stinging from the senseless blood bath of this year, and I don’t mean to be a Pollyanna here.</p>

<p>However, they don’t deserve your D. They didn’t know how to value her. At least you do. </p>

<p>So kids have parents who don’t appreciate them either.</p>

<p>I know these kids are going to be fine, worthless AP courses and all. The value of the AP courses is that it keeps them with striving peers, and believe me, college courses are more difficult than the AP’s, so that is a good thing.</p>

<p>Thanks for the tea, owlice. </p>

<p>My heart is with all of you suffering. It gets better. It really does. (D was rejected from schools that she should have been in for money and gender balancing. Had stupendous results from women’s colleges/need-blind colleges. Had choice of one quite prestigious coed LAC but rejected at all non-blind unis. So I know of what I speak.</p>

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<p>My d is class of 2013----eeks–she’s seen how crazy this has been for her bro and she says–I can probably get into the state u now with my sat score–wouldn’t have to retake or go nuts–can’t say I disagree as she really prefers staying in state and being closer to home anyway–I’m surely not up to continuing this experience as soon as s starts college and d starts senior year–</p>

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<p>je<em>ne</em>, I’m sure they were not silly decisions! If your daughter hadn’t gotten into, hadn’t even aimed for!, Smith because she didn’t have the coursework required, would you not be lamenting?</p>

<p>As S has reminded me on occasion, “you do the best you can with what you’ve got.”</p>

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<p>A virtual hug for je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi, and your daughter. You definitely got a raw deal this year. You’ve read Andi’s story – the great kid who didn’t get in anywhere a few years ago?</p>

<p>You raise a really good point about taking the hardest schedule. In theory, kids should take the classes they want to, at the level of challenge they want to, and NOT because of college admissions. But (as we see on these boards all the time), kids are pressured by GC, parents, and friends to take these tough courses in subjects they aren’t interested in. It’s definitely one of the most absurd aspects of this game. Especially given the low percentage acceptances this year, the message should be to take what you want – because even loading up with APs and honors courses is not a guarantee of acceptance. </p>

<p>Anyway – I know some very happy girls at Smith. If that’s where she goes, she’ll get a great education and meet some great kids. </p>

<p>As for everyone else here, I’ve enjoyed browsing this thread – congratulations and condolences to you all.</p>

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<p>Hi-- is anyone else besides my S still waiting for another decisions? UofRochester still hasn’t sent him anything. It seems pointless now.</p>

<p>Just checking. Drinking my tea, too-- Irish breakfast. It has a bit of a caffeine kick to it, which I need to get me motivated and back to work.</p>

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<p>all those APs will come in handy when they can place out of courses and move up to the more interesting level once they’re settled in on campus. that was a lesson we learned the hard way. Our high school eliminated all APs two years ago… and my college freshman now says many of her classmates came in at basically a second-semester sophomore level, which improves chances of getting into classes you want, etc. Just a thought for those kicking themselves over AP stress.</p>

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<p>acme - we’re still waiting on the last two, one to be posted at 7 p.m. this evening, and one arriving goodness knows when by snail mail. Life will go on, even if they’re both "no"s. Still, even with two still pending, reading this board feels like the morning after a hurricane when we go outside and survey the damage.</p>

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<p>We’re waiting on FA from several schools, although thus far one FA package is far and away the best. Son says he’s feeling loved by that school, which means he keeps feeling more and more love back. Needless to say, Mom’s loving the sound of those comments! He has two visits scheduled, with the best two FA packages, and once all the aid packages trickle in, we will decide if visiting a third school is in order.</p>

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<p>Nceph, thank you for responding. I hate to say misery loves company because I don’t wish this nightmare on anyone, but I’m glad to know my S isn’t the only one with some decisions left hanging. Good luck on the two you are still in limbo about.</p>

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<p>nceph, that is an excellent description – the aftermath of a hurricane! I don’t even have a senior this year, but reading all these stories makes me fearful about what’s to come. Some of the parents here are second-guessing decisions, and I sit here thinking what we can do in the next two years to change our outcome. Intellectually, I know it’s a crapshoot and we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing because I trust our gut instincts, but then i go and read taxguy’s post about taking on debt and I feel jittery.</p>

<p>I think we need something stiffer, like Jack Daniels, in the lounge!</p>

<p>lindz, I have one in the class of 2013, too, so I guess we’ll be seeing lots of each other down the road.</p>

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<p>I’ll be back for class of 2014. I only wish my first one didn’t always have to be the “guinea pig” as we learn from all of our mistakes with him what NOT to do for the next two kids.</p>

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<p>My vigil is over, although I am too addicted to this thread to leave any time soon. I am blown away by the outpouring of emotion and information from all of you wonderful people. </p>

<p>I am so sorry for the people who are stinging under so much random rejection or waitlisting. Three years ago, my D was rejected by her top choice after deferral from an early action app, and I still remember the exact moment she picked up that thin envelope and the tears that followed. </p>

<p>We got the FA package for my S, and Stanford’s new FA enhancements for middle income families are all that they were cracked up to be. It will cost a bit less for my S to attend there than to go to our state flagship-U of Ill Engineering. So from December when they said we had to pay the whole thing, with their new guidelines we will be paying about half instead. We’ll be toasting with Martinelli’s Sparkling Grape Juice tonight, followed by Ghiradelli’s dark chocolate squares with white mint filling, since they are both products of sunny California! </p>

<p>Dad II - You can see your D’s Stanford FA package online if she has her SUNet ID.</p>

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<p>We are still waiting on Emory tonight. Long shot, IMO, but it <em>may</em> be DS top choice. Who knows. He isn’t talking. And even if he DOES get in, until we know what the FA is, it won’t matter.</p>

<p>This is my second child, second time going through all of this, and it did NOT get easier. In fact, it was more challenging because #2 son is factoring in athletics. #1 son came down to two big ten schools - both very strong academically - one cost more but had a better reputation. #2 is down to 5 (6 if you count tonight). Without FA, we cannot say which one is the best choice…</p>

<p>Wudda cudda shudda - the only thing I would have done differently is perhaps insisted that he look at some of the smaller schools he nixed without even looking.</p>

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<p>Thank you so much to all of the parents posting on here. First post on Parents Forum, but I have been reading these posts for the past anxiety-producing week and they have truly helped me navigate the emotional roller coaster.</p>

<p>The raw emotion revealed on this board is both heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time.</p>

<p>I can identify with so much that has been written on this thread that I don’t quite know where to start.</p>

<p>Regarding the AP discussion, I agree that with DS#2, I will counsel him to only take AP classes that he is truly interested in. He will still end up taking quite a few, but probably not as many as DS#1 who will have taken 13 AP classes when he graduates in June. His 7 perfect scores of “5” were enough to get him into Berkeley and Duke Engineering, but not enough for Stanford and Princeton (along with 35 ACT, summer internship at prestigious research institute, etc., etc, I could go on and on like so many others on here who still were told “no” by the Ivies).</p>

<p>Regarding the “girl vs. boy” discussion, all I have to say is I hope my dd is interested in engineering, because those girls can write their own ticket! Berkeley’s gender breakdown in their engineering department is 80% male/20% female. Also, given that the top Ivies (HYP) only admitted between 7 to 9% of applicants, it’s pretty silly to say that “boys” had it easier than girls this year. Tens of thousands of applicants were rejected from those schools, including thousands of highly qualified boys.</p>

<p>My son’s emotional journey? It was so painful to watch as the “I am sorry to inform you . . .” blipped on the screen on the Princeton admissions page. We had visited the campus last year and he absolutely fell in love with that school. So . . . he applied and thought that he had a very good shot, especially after his Princeton interview went very well (or so he thought!).</p>

<p>Fast forward to yesterday. Before he viewed his Princeton decision, “intellectually,” he knew he was accepted to the #2 ranked Engineering school in the country, but he couldn’t wait to see the good news from his dream school . . .</p>

<p>He tried to “shrug it off,” I suppose, but the disappointment was palpable. He took a nap. He got up an hour later, we went to dinner, he visited with his girlfriend, and by 9 p.m. he had calculated that he will enter Cal as a sophomore and is contemplating getting a double major and studying abroad for a semester as well.</p>

<p>His resiliency was an inspiration to me. I too am over the Princeton rejection (okay, I felt SO much better after I threw out the little Princeton tiger I had bought at the student store . . . ) and am very much looking forward to witnessing his college journey at Cal. </p>

<p>Truth be told, it would have been a battle royale with my husband if he had gotten into Princeton. He’s much more practical and rational and would have insisted that our DS go to the much more economically feasible Cal than the extremely pricey Princeton. Another “glass is half full” view of the world.</p>

<p>So sorry for such a long post! I felt inspired to “bare my soul” by all of the wonderful and amazing posters on here . . .</p>

<p>I wish everyone the best of luck with your child’s college journey.</p>

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<p>youdon’tsay, of course we have Jack Daniels in the Vigil Lounge!</p>

<p>(He’s sitting in the corner weeping over his D’s rejections, poor man…)</p>

<p>lextalionis, welcome to the Lounge! Do you sing? The Vigil Lounge Lizards a cappella group has an opening.</p>

<p>Aren’t you glad you didn’t go ahead and get a Princeton tiger tattoed where George Schultz has his before decisions came out? :D</p>

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<p>Please allow me to disagree. While I can’t say anything about all Ivies, I’ve looked at CDS data from some top co-ed LACs, and while the overall rate of admission is really low, girls do have it tougher than boys. For instance, last year Pomona admitted 13.6% of its female applicants vs 20.6% of male ones. In 2006, Brown also admitted 13.6% of girls who applied (vs 17.2% of boys).</p>

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<p>BunsenBurner-- don’t some of those LAC’s also have slightly more women than men on campus, though? It’s interesting to note as well that there are still some women-only LACs and I’m not sure I know of any that are still all male. Not that it gives women much of an edge, it’s just that when I went to college men outnumbered women on most campuses (back in the dark ages).</p>