<p>Hm. Time to start foregoing desserts, even virtual ones, so I’ll just have a cup of Earl Grey decaf, the only tea that stands up to being decaffeinated. </p>
<p>owlice: Yes, I held your little girl. </p>
<p>kitkat: Come August or September he’ll be somewhere! We’ll wait with you. And I’m sure no one could have been older than my S when he got toilet trained – almost four! one month shy. He could already read!</p>
<p>So, waiting is just sometimes part of it. He read at three but wore diapers until four. D was toilet trained just past two, regressed when her baby brother was born, but still nursed when I brought him home from the hospital.</p>
<p>Can virtual calories really count? I agree about the Earl though.</p>
<p>owlice, you couldn’t be rude if you tried.</p>
<p>And, much more importantly, many of us are holding this sick little girl and her family in our thoughts, I’m sure. Having a healthy child is such a blessing, not one we earn, just one we are fortunate to have and know we could lose at any moment.</p>
<p>When I was a psychiatric nurse, 30 years ago, I worked with a lovely young woman who was experiencing a psychotic break. She would end our sessions by saying, “Forward into the fog.”" That pretty much sums up life on this planet, imo.</p>
<p>And bethievt, oh, yes, I could be rude if I tried!! But worse, sometimes it happens even when I’m not trying! :)</p>
<p>My kid has an actual talent for rudeness, but rarely, the intent. Sometimes he makes things just a little more interesting than they need to be as a result!</p>
<p>Tea is an excellent idea. Will partake, too.</p>
<p>bethie: OMG: She was a genius! Can I use that if it’s appropriate? Sounds like a great title for a book. Not the one I just wrote, or the next one, but some book.</p>
<p>Yes, an acquaintance of mine has a son with Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy. I really didn’t know them that well, but when I heard I cried for three days straight and wondered what I did to be so lucky. He was diagnosed at four because his calves were so bulky, which was a sure sign of fat, which meant muscular degeneration.</p>
<p>I looked at my son’s pipe cleaner legs with such gratitude.</p>
<p>Sorry to derail thread with sadness, but I hold this boy, every day. He’s fifteen now.</p>
<p>S called today with this quote: Man is born to cry, and when he has cried enough, he dies. From a Kurosawa movie. My S on my wave length. He legs are still pretty skinny, but there is a little muscle.</p>
<p>owlice: I’m holding sweet healing thoughts in my heart for the sick little girl tonight. I have sat vigil at the bedside of my very sick little boy through many crises so you have a veteran on your side. </p>
<p>Seems silly to even mention such things in the same post, but my daughter filled out her response cards to her college options today. Stamped, licked but not mailed. We’re giving her one more night to sleep on it. </p>
<p>My girls are clambering for strawberry shortcake, and nothing virtual will do, so I’ll dash to chop up some strawberries and whip the cream.</p>
<p>owlice–holding little girl in my prayers…good reminder believet about a healthy child being a blessing…my dear friend’s son had bone marrow transplant from twin sister donor–she’s an amazing mom, and professor, that always helps me keep “normal stuff” in perspective. having the opportunity to see our kids off to college is a blessing…</p>
<p>kitkat—fingers crossed for the last school…</p>
<p>Yes, jnsq–we will toast your daughter’s decision, here in the vigil lounge, whatever it is. The happy things are as important as the sad things.</p>
<p>And, mythmom, I think the young woman would be honored to have her words enshrined in a novel. It takes a certain kind of wisdom to know that you are lost in a fog but trying to move forward.</p>
<p>Owlice, I too will be thinking of your little girl…</p>
<p>My D is making a last tour of schools, prior to making a decision. She is being remarkedly close-lipped about her thoughts, and clearly ambivalent about going off to college. I can’t wait for the decision-making to be over. I think then she will begin to feel more excitement.</p>
<p>And I think kitkat would like you to sit next to her. :)</p>
<p>I’m sure your D will be more excited after the decision. She’ll get on Facebook, find other students, and so on. I hope you have the window decals ready!</p>
<p>Wow- just got back from dinner-- this has been a hoppin’ thread!</p>
<p>First, thanks CountingDown,lindz126,mythmom and kitkat82 (and a repeat thanks to owlice and 2forcollege) for the kind words. Feels good to be DONE, but a sadness is befalling me as well. Its like the post-Ph.D. blues. All this build-up, and this focused energy which now needs to be redirected. Anyone have ideas for a new hobby?</p>
<p>Owlice-
Lots of good thoughts and prayers coming your way for the little girl.Hoping she will be in the pink soon!</p>
<p>Wedgedrive-
Can you freeze a brownie or two, along with some of bethievt’s hot fudge sauce, until next week?!! Sounds so yummy!</p>
<p>jnsq-
Do let us know when the envelopes are mailed. YOu should be so proud of your daughter. Let us know if she picks the school up North that she was eyeing… (I am not sure if we are allowed to say school names til you do- so I’ll let you share the names)</p>
<p>I was thinking more about the tradition of our HS - that the educational honors and accomplishments are really celebrated at graduation. I don’t feel like it is bragging- I truly feel we are all happy for each other, and I enjoy hearing the successes of our kids. Even the kids who have been in the program for learning differences do well and are the source of pride for all the parents. The school is one that is proud of its 100% acceptance rate into a 4 year college, and still limits students to a maximum of 6 college applications (there are ways to do more, at a price…)</p>
<p>Here’s hoping for decisions, decisions, decisions!</p>
<p>owlice, my thoughts and prayers are with the little girl. We went through a very serious illness with my D that’s graduating now and I’m thankful everyday for her recovery.</p>
<p>Now, just when things seemed settled with D’s choice…my H comes home tonight and suddenly speaks up. He’s decided he doesn’t want her to go far from home and that she should be with her sister at her school! I’m just sick for her…it took so much for her to get to this point of having the courage to go away to school. </p>
<p>I should have seen this coming. Everytime we would try to discuss colleges, H really wasn’t all that interested and would usually leave the room. Stupid me, why didn’t I put it all together that he was uninterested because he had already made up HIS mind as to what she should do. Now it’s also all coming together the way my older D decided on her school last year. She had been accepted to BU with a small scholarship and that had always been her top choice. My H told her he would contribute a very nice amount of $$ toward whatever school she choose. That would leave her with a small loan for BU or if she went to the state school, she would be able to bank that amount of $$ since she had pretty much a full scholarship. He had totally left me out of this whole discussion with her and I didn’t find out about his $$ deal until later. I was really surprised when she decided on the state school last year over her former #1.</p>
<p>Now, apparently his bribe hasn’t worked as well on D2. She thinks a good education is worth the $$. I think all the way along, my H thought D2 would be lured by the $$ and that big sis would be there to take care of her (the very reason I don’t think she should go to the same school!) I am really just sick over this…especially that I didn’t see it coming!!! Now this weekend he plans to tell her not to go to the OOS school she finally decided on and that she must join big sister at her school. What a happy prom weekend this will be!!!</p>
<p>Sorry for the rant, but I’m just so upset. I really think this really is not good for my D…I just feel it in my gut very strongly. I hope I’m wrong.</p>
<p>Do you have influence over your H? Mine would be too scared to pull a stunt like that. He make noises, but then we would all tell him to be quiet.</p>
<p>Is the money all his? Or do you have your own money? </p>
<p>Think about fighting him on this one if you feel strongly. Or maybe coaxing him.</p>
<p>Is he rational enough to understand your reasons for wanting D2 to go away?</p>
<p>Keeping my fingers crossed for you.</p>
<p>I don’t blame you for being upset, not at all. Rant away.</p>
<p>I worked before kids so that he could start a business, but have been at home for the most part since having kids. His rational reasoning is that HE wants to be able to visit her every few weeks like we do D1 (who absolutely cringes everytime we’re on our way over). He also thinks that although she’s recovered from her health problems for the most part, she should be close to home in case she ever gets sick again (my feeling is she should not let her past health issues hold her back from living her life). I think it really isn’t about money, though he hates to spend it, he would normally put education ahead of anything else.</p>
<p>He has passive-agressive tendencies sometimes. We could never get him to express one word during the whole process this year, so D & I just visited schools together and she made her choices where to apply. Since he would just walk out of the room whenever college-talk came up, I interpeted it as him just going along with whatever she wanted. Now I see that he just thought his bribe and the easy situation at big sis’ school would be enough to convince her to go there. When things didn’t go as he planned, he’s now throwing a hissy fit. </p>
<p>I know as soon as he tells her that he objects to her going away, she’ll go right along with going instate. It is the easy thing for her to do. She’ll have money, big sis to do everything for her, the comforts of home nearby and a private bathroom in her dorm room. Hey, just typing this makes me think it’s crazy to do anything other than sis’ school…but I really can’t ignore my gut feelings that this will not be good for her and that she needs her independance. As much as I’ll miss her, she needs to learn to do things for herself. Also, while sis’ school is good for her major, it’s not as good for hers. She also has a broad range of interests that she will not be able to pursue in such a small school with limited resources. </p>
<p>My H says I only see things in black or white and that he can’t discuss this with me because he thinks I irrationally don’t like D1s school. Though there are things I’m not wild about with her school, I still think it’s a great place for D1 and she’s very happy there. But there are things I like and don’t like about every school we’ve visited. </p>
<p>I’m just really worried what kind of effect this will have on my daughter. To me, it wil just reinforce her dependance on us…which must be what my H wants. </p>
<p>mythmom, how I wish he would listen when I tell him to just be quiet! When H gets something in his head, no matter what anyone else tells him, he just has to get it out. And unfortunately, I don’t think anything I have to say to him counts in his mind. Rant away I just did!</p>
<p>2forcollege—I totally get your frustration–just wondering if your husb is not expressing his sadness/sense of losing his baby and trying to keep her close to avoid that experience. esp if he has worry about her health–even if not justified now and even if not best thing for her… just a thought–there’s a thread by Weepy but proud dad where dads have indicated their own separation concerns…maybe talk w him about this possibility-could be way to connect and then talk about what daughter really needs—</p>
<p>I swear I have to quit my job (but keep having fun) - another full day in meetings yesterday and partying with the girls until midnight - and wham - the vigil forum was on steroids! Now I’m caught up even though I’m late for work.</p>
<p>Congratulations to everyone whose kids have been kind enough to decrease their anxiety levels with a decision. My S is happily having a lovely social life this spring break with zilch decision.</p>
<p>2forcollege - Trust your instincts. H pulled something similar, but I stopped him dead in his tracks and now he is on board with whatever S wants (or does not want).</p>
<p>mythmom - I have a Kurosawa devotee in my S, too.</p>
<p>Now back to my oatmeal (I do prefer owlice’s goodies).</p>
<p>Thank you all, once again! Still in a scary place, and will be for a long time, but she made it through the night, yay!!!</p>
<p>mountains, my oatmeal comes in the form of cookies, with raisins. :D</p>
<p>2for, thanks! </p>
<p>Re: your husband, you may not be able to sway him away from doing what he’s trying to do (though try, of course), but nothing’s stopping you from taking D2 aside to tell her that her dad’s wrong. I’ve had to do that sometimes with S, when his dad’s experience with something (or lack thereof) is outside the norm. As I’m the parental unit with friends and talk to people, S knows I have more sources for information than his dad does.</p>
<p>OMG. My kid… left his homework here! H just pointed it out. That kid…!!! He stood before me this morning and asked, “Do I have everything?” (Yeah, as if I’d know!) I did the mom thing: “Do you have your lunch? Your money? Your ID? Your homework?” Kid says, “Oops!” and runs over to the computer, grabs something, puts it in his backpack. “Your keys? Your MP3 player? Your calculator?” </p>
<p>When, exactly, does that frontal lobe start kicking in, please?!?!</p>