<p>My relationship with my ex is decent as well. We don’t talk often anymore, because the kids are older, but we get along fine at school events, etc. </p>
<p>My attitude towards paying for college has been that it will be my responsibility, and my childs, and IF their dad contributes anything, it will be a bonus. We sat down with him a while back and showed him our spreadsheets and asked what he could do, and he said exactly what I expected: ‘well, we’ll have to see. I’m sure I can do something, but I don’t know…’. It’s not that he is unwilling to help, it’s that he is unwilling to COMMIT to helping. So, I’m going forward as though he’s not going to contribute anything, and then if I get something, I’ll put it towards loans, or stash it for next year, or something.</p>
<p>I was never bitter about my divorce, but it wasn’t my choice, so I really carried the torch for ex-H for a while. Not bitter because at that time I thought “I deserved it.” Just one more way of staying “in love.” I can still remember the exact moment the longing for him lifted – seven years into the process! But since we’d been married for 13, I’ve been told half the time is usual.</p>
<p>Now we’ve been apart for 25 years. Wow! Unbelievable. I am happy things worked out as they did. For all his faults I can honestly say I prefer H two!</p>
<p>Oh I have my moments of anger, rage, hostility, bitterness and frustration. Most of my moments deal with the kids and perceived injustice thereof. Divorce is just a difficult thing. One of my hardest life lessons has been that I cannot influence or change someone else’s actions - can only change how I react. So acting poorly when we need to interact does not help anybody, including myself. </p>
<p>Yep - I guess I am now halfway through too - #1 son is a junior now too!</p>
<p>kitkat: congrats! CMU!! What a great choice!!! I have no idea, but only an inkling about the school that played games with your FA…he made the better choice IMO…PM me with the other school if you have time…(if I am right, you are not the only one that has an “ax” to grind with them this year…)</p>
<p>I just skipped H# 1, and didn’t marry til I was 31. I figure marrying that late is like having a H#2 without the previous baggage Oh, and I married a young’un. So he doesn’t have any previous kids or major baggage, and he’ll take care of me in my old age. Always thinking…</p>
<p>I also wasn’t bitter about the divorce per se, but I was really unhappy with the biases in the courts regarding custody and support. Took a long time and unfortunately much cash to free my D, due to M’s greed. Now D is happy has done well and of to college in the fall. Big problem as others have, how to pay for it, M will not provide a cent.</p>
<p>kitkat–wonderful choice and of course your son had great options…I agree with mythmom–CMU will be the right place for your son in ways not yet revealed.</p>
<p>Nah, jym, if you look old so do I. Now owning up to that one. But did you see my H’s gray hair and beard? And yours, well, well, HE looks young.</p>
<p>hikids: Thanks for reminding us it cuts both ways. I can understand your upset, and congrats for freeing your D.</p>
<p>Kitkat, congrats on CMU. We know many fine people who have gone there. Found out recently it also has one of the best theater depts in the country-- who knew?</p>
Oh, and I married a young’un. So he doesn’t have any previous kids or major baggage, and he’ll take care of me in my old age. Always thinking…</p>