<p>^^^ uh, yeah. Absolutely. How silly that the student has to ask about how to obtain the award.</p>
<p>A little over a yr ago-- Our student got an award…and asked over and over again for months at all of the resources at the school (coach, development office etc etc) about who/where to send the thank you note…and months later re-asked.
NEVER got a response from the school.
We just learned a month ago that the award is given in rememberance of a former student who died tragically. It is really important to the family.
WHY can’t the school then tell our student about how/where to send the thank you.
Its been a year —</p>
<p>I’m still having trouble really understanding some of the arguments being made in this thread. There seem to be two strains–first, that maybe these awards aren’t really unfair at all; second, that even if they are unfair, those who are treated unfairly should just get over it, especially if they’ve won the “big prize,” such as admission to a top school. The first I just don’t agree with; the second I get, but I think it’s human nature to vent about unfairness–heck, a lot of us get mad if somebody steals our parking place at the mall. I feel a little shock and some anger every time somebody does something unscrupulous. Those feelings are intensified if the person on the receiving end is my kid, and even more so if the person doing it is a trusted figure like a teacher or a coach.</p>
May be human nature, I may be guilty of it myself from time to time, but I fight it because I know it isn’t a healthy way to live. I certainly wouldn’t encourage it in my already hyper kid.</p>
<p>
As I think I’ve posted several times, the point is not whether or not something is “unfair” or not, but how do you determine whether it is unfair. Just because you don’t think something is fairly awarded, does not make it so. </p>
<p>If you can lobby and get a significant number of the students/parents/faculty to go to bat to overturn the percieved unfairness, have at it. Make it your life’s work to restore equity to your local high school awards ceremony. My experience in other venues makes me fairly certain that after their own kids move on to college or work, most parents no longer devote much time to righting these horrendous injustices going on at the high school.</p>
<p>Wow, after reading the Frazzies I’d say our school does a great job with awards.</p>
<p>They used to hand awards & scholarships out at a morning ceremony attended by the entire student body and all seniors. Nice idea to motivate the younger kids, but only about 40% or less of the seniors get an award - the others just sat and watched their classmates rake in the bucks. So now awards day is at night, by invitation only, and you are only invited if you are getting something. Smart move by the hs administration. And our awards are FREE to attend - geez. The PTA hosts light refreshments beforehand, but that’s all the food provided.</p>
<p>I actually don’t see the point of having an award for something like highest-grades-in-French; the grades are already the award. And I think that it’s eminently fair for a teacher or department to designate so-and-so winner of the French award if that student demonstrates real passion for learning the French language, studying on his own, maybe starting some kind of pen pal or exchange program, tutoring other students, etc. Those things may sometimes coincide with the top-as-measured-by-grades student, but not necessarily, and I don’t consider it an awful, unfair thing if the 98-in-French student who is technically proficient but doesn’t demonstrate passion is passed over in favor of the 93-in-French-but-shows-a-real passion student. And I say this as the mother of neither of those students, LOL. </p>
<p>I do think there is a certain ugliness about already being well-recognized in other venues and being so desperate for recognition in yet another set of ceremonies. It just isn’t where I want my kids focusing.</p>
<p>Both of my kids have reasonably significant EC’s in venues that are outside of the high school. No one at the hs knows about these activities (or if they do, it’s merely in passing). I won’t be “hurt” if they aren’t recognized for these things, and I won’t get all worked up that my D should get a science award for her EC science work because it’s not known to the school. The work she’s doing should be reward enough.</p>
<p>And isn’t that really the message we want to send to our kids? That the work they do, and the natural consequences of that work, are the reward – not the certificates and trophies? </p>
<p>What do you say when your kid takes a test? “Did you get an A?” (=recognition by someone else) or “Did you try your best and learn something?”</p>
<p>“often times “fairness” is like beauty…all in the eyes of the beholder… when your child wins an award then obviously the system is fair…when he/she doesnt then the fairness is called into question.”</p>
<p>I disagree with this. I think that it isn’t really difficult to define fairness. Yes, it has gray areas but, come on, it isn’t that complicated.</p>
<p>In response to Lafalum, a few pages ago:</p>
<p>I can imagine that it might be very difficult to put in place a checks and balances system for the awards process. I have never worked on such an event but i do work in a school and just trying to get a field trip underway for my students is a complex process of chasing down signatures, etc. So I do get your point.</p>
<p>I think though that a system could be set in place to at least TRY to ensure that students don’t walk away with ten scholarships. For example: why not require that the scholarship sponsor choose three students, choice # 1, 2 and 3. They would have to agree that the guidance office (or other objective committee) has the jurisdiction to to go to Choice #2 in the event that # 1 has been awarded another scholarship. If the Scholarship sponsors like it, well, too bad.</p>
<p>The other problem I see and i don’t see any way to remedy this one, is the people who apply under false pretenses. For example, a scholarship is described as one that will give preference to a student who wants a career in Marine Biology. The student who wins is one that you know very well and is going to major in Nursing. Now, I realize that the word “preference” is the out but there are qualified students in the class who applied for the scholarship who ARE majoring in Marine Bio. It also happens that the winning student is the neighbor, niece, friend of the scholarship sponsor.</p>
<p>When my children were filling out the applications we made a point of being truthful about their plans and our financial situation. It just felt icky to do it any other way. I mean, even if you don’t care about being honest, wouldn’t the idea of sitting at the awards ceremony with people that know you and your child, who know what your child is going to major in and know the relationship you have with the scholarship sponsor be a deterrent to fudging the truth? i get embarrassed just thinking about it.</p>
Well, sure. Who’s arguing otherwise? Are you arguing, though, that these decisions are *never *unfair? And I’m nettled by the idea that somebody who believes they earned an award and didn’t get it for an unfair reason is “desperate” for recognition.</p>
<p>How do you feel about someone who believes their kid “deserved” to get into (say) Harvard and didn’t get it for an “unfair” reason? Do you think such person should wallow in this, or try to put it behind them and move on?</p>
<p>What’s the unfair reason? If it’s because somebody sent false information to the admissions committee, then I think they might have a reason to be angry.
Why do you feel the need to put “unfair” in quotes? Is it because you don’t really think any of these decisions are unfair? If so, you must live around a lot of really nice people.</p>
<p>Look, here’s an analogy that might put this in some perspective. Did you read about the baseball pitcher who “earned” a perfect game, but didn’t get it because the umpire made an egregious mistake? The guy was very disappointed, but is being big about it. But what if it came out that the umpire was paid by the pitcher’s enemies to prevent him from getting a perfect game? Would that be “unfair?” Would the pitcher have a reason to be angry?</p>
First I’m arguing that the term “unfair” is often inherently subjective.</p>
<p>However, are there times when a clear majority would agree that somebody got robbed of some accolade? Sure. Just ask Gallaraga, the pitcher recently robbed of a perfect game. Only in that case, I think just about everybody agrees, including the fellow who made the call. </p>
<p>But I believe that these clear examples of inequity are far more infrequent than the instance of parents/students complaining about them.</p>
<p>You realize, of course, that there are many people who would feel that the proposal you make in quote number 2 is inherently unfair. That if a student is the best qualified, they should be able to win every single scholarship based on merit alone. That’s why it’s not all that easy to determine what is fair.</p>
<p>I would make a distinction between the fairness of the rules, and the fairness of the application of the rules. When the rules are known, everybody can debate them–some people won’t like them, but eventually the authorities have to settle on some set of rules. But when you have rules, but somebody circumvents the rules, that’s a different issue.</p>
<p>As an example, I don’t like some of the rules that penalize kids who transfer during high school in terms of GPA–but that’s very different from, say, falsifying grades on the transcript so the favored kid has a higher GPA.</p>
Why? Do I need a reason? Same as you, it’s my opinion based on my experience. You are the one making the claim that this is pervasive. Where is your objective evidence, backed up by facts that I can verify? If things were clearly that unjust and that important I think people would actually try to do something about it instead of whining on a message board. And because the outcry almost always comes from people complaining about the injustice suffered by their own kid.</p>
<p>Hey…my junior nephew received a fancy invitation to the awards ceremony for the end of the year and was excited to know what it was for since he is #2 in the class and a wiz in physics and mathematics… He received the award for best Drivers Ed student. He thinks it is because his drivers ed teacher is the coach of the track team and my N is a strong competitor</p>
<p>The sad fact is that there is usually nothing you can do about it, unless there is some blatant violation of established rules. My experience tells me that it’s pretty pervasive, and the most common reason is favoritism that doesn’t really relate to the abilities and achievements of the kids. There are lots of gray area cases, but plenty where people just kind of roll their eyes and go on about their business. Sometimes the only release you can find is to whine about it on a message board–and some of you want to take even that away. How unfair!</p>
Okay, if this is what has actually happened, it is not only unfair, it is likely illegal. Is this what you are talking about? In that case, I have no argument. If this happens frequently, I’m curious what you have done about this situation? Because this will effect class ranking, which will effect student’s chances at school admission.</p>
<p>I’m just giving an extreme example–I’m only aware of kids falsifying grades, not adults. As I said, most cases I’ve been aware of are not something like that–and I’m sure there were some Pollyanna’s who found some way to justify the decisions as based on something other than favoritism. So be it.</p>
<p>If a thread is titled as a “Rant,” then I think it’s perfectly acceptable for people to rant on the thread! It’s an alternative to discussing the situation with family or friends, and a better one. Also, it may be comforting to know that there is a general phenomenon of award choices that are . . . well, let’s say, “less than transparent” in the selections.</p>
<p>To put this in the context of adult awards, I run into some people who pretty clearly yearn for the Nobel Prize. If you read Sheldon Glashow’s autobiography, you will read of sleepless October nights, during the run-up to the Prize announcement, when he thought he <em>should</em> win. (He did, eventually.) If you read Carl Djerassi’s fiction, you will see the just barely sublimated signs of longing for the Nobel Prize. Djerassi is the Father of Oral Contraceptives. Or perhaps Not-the-Father of Oral Contraceptives. (He hasn’t won yet.) I can assure you that I sleep very soundly every October!</p>
<p>I served on a council for a national professional organization, about 10 years ago. One of the items we discussed was the need to increase the number of awards for people in mid-career (in their forties, say). Looking around the room, I had a hard time keeping from laughing. Yes, what this organization really needs is more awards for people like . . . us!</p>
<p>I think the instances mentioned above fall somewhere on the spectrum from laughable to distressing. However, I have a different feeling about high school awards, which I will explain in a later post–because I think my rationale has not been mentioned by anyone on the thread yet.</p>