<p>Nope. That mom is nuts. Why are parents so afraid to say no?</p>
<p>I think these senior trips are a bad idea. Think Natalee Holloway.</p>
<p>I would definitely not allow my son to go; I don’t think he’ll even bother to ask, he knows the answer. They are 17-18 year olds - and they think they know everything, and that is what would scare me the most. They are all great kids, but they still are 17 and 18, and there is no intent to put down teenagers here; I once was one and so were the rest of the parents here. Everyone has pointed out great advice. In addition, one person’s lapse of judgment could lead to colleges rescinding admission offers for more than just one. That’s called collateral damage, and it happens in situations like this. Another thing to consider is that when the group starts getting larger, more kids are thrown into the picture (so and so invited so and so, etc.), and suddenly you have kids your son does not even know that may be going. </p>
<p>I cannot believe the Mom who agreed to rent the condo - good gracious, I hope she has a lot of insurance.</p>
<p>I agree with the vast majority of the parents here. No way. And I have high school age boys, too. They wouldn’t even ask. My brother told me very recently of a weekend house party (unsupervised) where his friend’s house was “trashed” by the S and large group of friends. The mom renting that condo is taking a huge chance. I hate the “well, they’re going to be in college soon” nonsense. Yes, they will. Soon. Not now. I am “The Mom from H*ll.” :D</p>
<p>Now I’ll sound like the crazy one. I did allow D and her best friend to go to an all-inclusive resort south of Playa del Carmen on the road to Tulum as their senior trip. Alone. </p>
<p>They didn’t even ask us if we’d let them go on the debauche’ the others seniors were doing to Cancun. They didn’t want to go and I think they knew the answer was “Yeah, right.”</p>
<p>I vetted the property. E-mailed the manager (more than a few times and even while they were there.;)). Used TripAdvisor forums for a a couple of weeks (half the people there thought I was crazy, too.)</p>
<p>Bought “personal alarms” for the girls. Had security and self defense conversations/lessons along with the other dad (a serious fella, Captain in the Fire Department and a real tough dude). Set-up check-in times, bought Mexico phone coverage and verified type of phone necessary to receive signal. Established boundaries (resort and excursions booked through the resort only. Absolutely no visits to town. Sorry. That’s the rules. ) . </p>
<p>I was as nervous as Paris Hilton in church, but I let it happen…and they had a remarkable time.They still talk about it often. (Xel-ha. The Mayan ruins. Para-sailing.) These are also 2 of the few kids attending college out of state from their high school. Go figure. </p>
<p>The Natalee Holloway story was and still is horrible. But remember, that was not a kids only trip. </p>
<p>Every parent needs to make the best decision based on their kid , their kid’s travel-mates , and the specific trip being planned. I don’t think any automatic rules apply. JMO.</p>
<p>there is a huge difference between knowing in the back of your head- that in a few months your darling D/S will be having sex while eating potato chips for breakfast and washing it down with a singapore sling :p, - or the opportunity possibly to do so and…
saying " oh, what the hey, in three or four months you will be technically an adult, and while it still won’t be legal for you to indulge- you need to learn to do so, so I am going to give you the opportunity while you are still in high school- even if most parents would say that is neglectful- it makes * me, cool- right? *</p>
<p>Aww, curm, you are a goood dad! :)</p>
<p>I would have no problem with my D doing something similar or a downtown trip described by Chedva. A remote cabin combined with fluctuating number of partiers spell a good recipe for trouble.</p>
<p>curmudge- my D and a friend went camping last summer- & were going to go by themselves- but I frankly was worried about weirdos- so I went at the same time ( different car) although I never saw my D- although I did talk to her on the phone! ;)</p>
<p>They would have been fine I know, but it made me feel better-
now however I am about having a stroke worrying about her leaving on Friday for Africa.
Not even about weirdos- but just because she seems to have the flu or something & I worry cause Ive heard it burns calories?</p>
<p>curm, I’m fine with the kind of trip your d took - it wasn’t a “oh, gee, anyone who wants to can drop by” type of trip - it was your d and her best friend. They were going to look out for each other, and it was much less likely for things just to get out of hand. (And they weren’t driving!)</p>
<p>That’s why I allowed my d to go on her trip - no driving, kids that we knew and trusted, no one was just going to “drop by”. And they had a blast.</p>
<p>curmudgeon-
I have been to Playa del Carmen on more than one occasion. It is a lovely place. I have to commend you on setting up a very memorable vacation for your daughter and her friend which had constraints and security taken into consideration. It was not a ‘free for all’ like most of these large, unsupervised weekend condo things end up being.</p>
<p>Cross-posted with Chedva.</p>
<p>curm, are you saying parents were on the Natalee Holloway trip? I don’t remember that.</p>
<p>Chedva. I had suggested the same kind of trip to D. I’d have let her do that one, too. Funny, now she heads off to OOS places with her student-only Ultimate team at the drop of a hat. Things sure change in a hurry, don’t they?</p>
<p>I’ll let someone more familiar respond but I recall “sponsors” . If memory serves, maybe a relative of Natalee’s? An aunt?</p>
<p>Curm’s trip sounds OK, and so does Chedva’s - although I probably would have had some concerns about my kids going on Chedva’s trip - they weren’t big city savvy enough at that age, I’d actually have been more comfortable with the all-inclusive resort, especially with only the 2 girls.</p>
<p>The Natalee Holloway case is a little different, but not much, sometimes having parents along doesn’t help if they aren’t wise enough to take the simplest precautions - like never allowing anyone to go off alone or in a group of less than 3 and enforcing that rule. The trip that used to go off every spring for the well-heeled private school kids has completely dried up, gone underground, after the Holloway case. The trip here was a cruise, which parents told themselves was safer because the kids were more confined, I still shiver thinking how close that could have been to being one of my D’s friends.</p>
<p>yes, there were a number of chaperones on the trip to Aruba.</p>
<p>
I got this from a Guidance counselor site, but I knew cangel would know. ;)</p>
<p>I’ve been Googling to find out if there was supervision but have come up empty. Regardless, the lack of parental supervision on OP’s trip is a concern. There’s no way to know who will show up. What if one of the girls had a boyfriend at college and asks him to come along, and he brings friends, etc.?</p>
<p>I was out of college and got invited to a friend’s friend’s parent’s lakehouse, and it was totally out of control. We were all technically adults, but the so-called “adult supervision” there was the worst. I’ll spare you details, but it was a dangerous situation that I was unprepared for at 22. I was at the mercy of my friend, who had the car and we were out of state, so I stopped drinking and slept with one eye open once I understood what that weekend was about.</p>
<p>Neither DD or DS would even bother to ask about a trip similar to that described by OP – they know the answer would be/is “NO!” As for the whole “Well, they’ll be on their own in college soon anyway” argument – not absolutely true. Dorms have RA’s, etc. for a reason. They may not be making every little decision, but they act as a kind of safety net. The woman who rented the condo is absolutely responsible, no matter what she’s telling parents. Honestly, where’s her head?</p>
<p>Here’s a link to the “guidance site” I referenced above. </p>
<p>[Welcome</a> to The Guidance Channel!](<a href=“http://www.guidancechannel.com/default.aspx?M=a&index=1931&cat=30]Welcome”>http://www.guidancechannel.com/default.aspx?M=a&index=1931&cat=30)</p>
<p>Some of you may recall that I’m quite blase about coed sleepovers in the parents’ home.</p>
<p>But this? HELL NO!</p>
<p>Even if I trusted my individual kid – and I might – I sure wouldn’t trust all of his friends and their friends and the bunnies they picked up in the lodge and the frat guys in the condo next door and the hot Norwegian ski instructor.</p>
<p>Once they’ve had a semester or two in college, that’s a different story. But with high schoolers, it’s not even a close question.</p>
<p>Absolutely not. Let the kid make up any excuse he wants, and back him up if you’re asked, but no way. BTW, does the landlord have any idea what he is renting to? I’m curious if the renter-mom said, “I’d like to rent a condo for at least a dozen high school students to spend an unsupervised weekend,” and the landlord said, “Sure!” Somehow I doubt that… I’m betting if the landlord knew the real deal, the rental agreement would be voided.</p>
<p>I keep telling my daughter, WHY do you want to be older than you are? You are only this age once. You’ll be older soon. You have the rest of your life to be an adult. You’ll be a college student WHEN YOU’RE IN COLLEGE. I’m tired of middle school parents who want their kids to do high school stuff (fancy dances, etc), and high school parents who want their kids to do college stuff. Our kids will be grown and gone soon enough, but while they’re kids THEY ARE STILL KIDS.</p>
<p>Anyone remember that 8 year old kid who was “piloting” a plane across the country with a flight instructor, and who died when the plane crashed in a rain storm? The idiot parents said their child died doing what she wanted to do, and why should kids have to wait to be the people they want to be. THE KID WAS 8. SHE’LL NEVER GROW UP TO BE WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE.</p>
<p>There is no question that the planned trip is fraught with too much risk and peril for a parent to endorse it and permit their kid to go. Too many uncontrolled variables that could result in unintended but none-the-less serious outcomes.</p>
<p>However, do any of you distinguish between this and what has become the annual “Rite of Passage” of seniors going to a rental house at the shore after their senior prom in the late spring? Even in my school district where there is a very well organized and elaborate PTO/school sponsored “Post Prom Party” that basically keeps the kids who attend under wraps from 11 pm until 7 am, seniors thereafter go to the shore for a long weekend. Would you or would you not permit your soon to graduate senior to go? What if the prom was held mid-year as opposed to in May acouple of weeks before graduation? </p>
<p>Was a tough decission for us. Our daughter had spent 2 summers at colleges and was accustomed to handling herself responsibly in situations of independent living so we ultimately allowed our daughter to go after carefully reviewing with all the kids and parents who would be staying in the house. Even then, our daughter left after 2 days because of rampant beer pong and stayed instead with a family we know and just caught up with her school friends during the day and evening. The period of transistion when our seniors are understandably insistent on being accorded adult freedoms but are still within our line of sight can be stressful!</p>