That’s basically what we do, too, and now that S23 is living off campus, we also include the school’s suggested budget for food and housing. We divide the total into months and deposit it into S23’s bank account at the beginning of each month. He then pays all his expenses out of that, and can save or spend as he sees fit.
He also has a campus job. He could use that as additional spending money, but he’s actually putting all of it into a Roth IRA.
That’s why we used the school’s own suggested budget.
First, depends on where they are. Not just middle of nowhere LAC vs NYC, but also whether there are Greek dues, etc. Second, depends on what you will cover before you hand over the purse-strings. If you are buying a full meal plan and books and travel home for holidays, you’re talking about “beer money” and personal care. And it depends on what you can afford.
We provided DS with beer money (-- I can’t remember the amount, want to say about $250/month) which he supplemented with earnings from summer internships and paid work on campus. Like your D, he wasn’t extravagant. But he did want to be able to pay for a ski pass or to pitch in for a party or to go out to dinner.
While we didn’t do this, I like the idea of having a conversion upfront about budget and having your D keep track of expenditures so that if she feels underfunded, there’s some hard data on what she needs the $ for.
Oof, I feel for her! That would have scared me as a new driver. I grew up in the suburbs, and around here the traditional wisdom is that you start in a big empty parking lot, then spend a couple of trips tooling around 20 mph residential neighborhoods with pretty much empty streets, then some trips into “town” (the commercial district of the suburb), then a trip out onto the highway during low traffic hours, then only during the final lessons onto the highway during rush hour or into The Big City.
One area involving high expenses may not be so obvious–Greek society (sorority/fraternity) membership–especially at Southern universities. The largest expenses are trips, social events, & designer wardrobe which are in addition to required dues. The additional expenses typically exceed any amount mentioned in this thread.
Agree that monthly college expenses depends upon the school and the location. And it doesn’t matter whether the school is public or private–at least not in the Southern US.
My kids always had a budget for going out money and bought their own clothes (except occasional presents) and gas even in high school. In high school that was $300 per month in an expensive area (Silicon Valley) which was plenty. In college we gave them more, not based on expected spending, but because they had an overall college budget which included spending money and not all of their expenses would be chargeable to the 529. So they were responsible for keeping all of their tuition, room, board and incidental expenses within budget and they got to keep anything that was left after college (including any earnings). They also paid for vacations like spring break trips or anything else they did on their own. All have had money left over (as well as Roth IRAs) coming out of college.
But actual cash spending (ie excluding costs billed by the college) was quite variable. D had a full ride to cover tuition and room and some meals, but had a car (to buy gas for) plus a ski pass and had to buy food and pay for her sorority. That all came to about $1200 per month in a mid range city. Older S was in an expensive city without a car or skiing (but also had well paid summer jobs which allowed him to spend more liberally especially in the summer) and spent about $800 per month during the school year (though over $1000 per month when he was working in the summer and had to buy food separately). Younger S is in an area with less to do, but more importantly doesn’t go out as much and doesn’t care about buying clothes or going on trips with friends. He spends about $300 per month.
Purdue was one of her EA admissions, so in theory she could end up in West Lafayette, too. Going to have to wait to see what all the options are, and then make a decision.
I have encouraged her to at least participate in the rush process before writing off Greek life as “not for me”. But she has seen too many 'Bama Rush videos and is turned off by the idea of joining a sorority. Even in school selection, she largely avoided the schools with extremely large Greek scenes. So likely those expenses won’t be involved.
Ours considered UA as well (we love The South & had received a full tuition & fees plus more scholarship).
I have several nieces & nephews at large Southern universities. The Greek system is a different experience from those who decide not to pursue Greek membership. The wealth at Southern universities might surprise some who refer to these universities as “state schools” or “publics”–which they are. To repeat my point made above in another post, if cost conscious and considering large Southern universities, investigate the typical monthly expenditures of those students in sororities; it may shock you.
D25 works part time and earns close to $1k a month. We no longer pay for Starbucks, eating out, skin care, etc. for her. But I do not want her to work her first year in college. Being away from home, integrating into school, and making new friends will be what she needs to focus on. She will live on campus with no car and have the largest meal plan. So I’m thinking $50 a week for a little treat or two and something she needs (like Tylenol, cough drops, etc.). Obviously, if there is a big item she needs, she could use our credit card, which she is an AU on. After working all summer, if there is something she wants, she can use her savings.
Honestly, paying full fare for tuition and flying her back and forth to school and home are going to be a small mortgage at the end of the day. I don’t spend much more than $50 a week myself, surely my 17 year old can manage on that amount, too.
I will say that I have seen D25 have a big Come-To-Starbucks-Jesus moment when she has to pay herself. She passes it up. Right now, she wants a new iPhone. Doesn’t need one, wants one. We said we’d split the cost with her. Now, she hasn’t asked about it again because she would have to spend some of her money. I think it is good for young adults to realize that with very few exceptions, their immediate salaries will not allow for everything they want. Spending $10 a day on a coffee drink is ridiculous if you’re making $50k or even a $100k a year (not to mention the calories). They will have to budget and prioritize spending and saving just like I do. I think the sooner they get put on the hook and feel the true cost of items, the better.
All 5 of my kids went to public universities, so I was surprised at the amount of wealth many of Clemson students come from! One of my daughter’s best friends got a boat for his birthday. She loves to borrow clothes, and visit over breaks. Her guy friends spoil her, their parents are always inviting her on vacations (she usually can’t because of work). Parents asking where their student can get their Range Rover fixed (my daughter drives a beat up 2012 accord). But her frirnds are great, and don’t make her feel “less.”
Back in the Stone Age, I went to a public university that was not a flagship, and had little recognition outside of my state.
I was the poor student who worked multiple jobs to pay for college…Including all extra expenses. My parents gave me money for my birthday pizza.
My roommate was from an extremely wealthy family…something I didn’t fully grasp until I attended her wedding years later. We are talking…multimillionaires.
She didn’t have to work…and didn’t. I had to work…and did.
This is why I say…this is a family decision.
After our DD graduated from undergrad school, I asked her what some of her expenses were. She was willing to share. $150 every 8 weeks to get her hair frosted and cut was one. Let’s just say…it was good that she had a very high paying job on her college campus.
The reality was…for both of our kids, we didn’t know how much they earned, how much they spent, or what they spent their money on. During college was a good transition to adult life where their finances really are theirs…not ours.
We did fully fund undergrad tuition, fees, room, board, and transportation home. We did give our kids things like gift cards to the local grocery story and their favorite restaurants. We did pay for clothing they needed (e.g. new winter coats). But their fun money was something they earned…and both still say…that was fine.
Definitely a timely thread. We’re in NYC too. The kids currently get $50 a week, which is mostly for eating out. We pay for clothes, necessities, Uber, etc. D26 works summers and also makes extra $ for helping me with office work (scanning/filing, etc.) for which she’s generously compensated. S26 does research in the summer for which he’s not paid. Somehow D26 always runs out of money (she’s in a private school trying and failing to keep up with the uber-rich crowd) while S26 (public school) has a good amount in savings. I was hoping, perhaps naively, that the same amount would suffice in college given that both will be on a meal plan. Looks like we’ll need to rethink that.
For our family, we paid tuition and room and board. Both kids went to schools where you could walk anywhere you needed to go (although they eventually had cars) and no need to Uber because you could walk home from parties and events.
All spending was on them. They never worked during their school years in HS but they did work over summers and used that money for during the school year.
They were users on our credit card for emergencies or health related things (I didn’t want them not going to the dentist because it cost money etc)
I have no idea how much they spent on snacks, food, toiletries etc because I never saw it.
Both eventually got a little bit of income from TAing and small jobs like that during college, but again, the bulk of their spending money came from summer earnings.
Zero. Mine works over the summer and saves. He spends during the year from his summer earnings.
He wants to have a car next year. He knows he needs to find a job to pay for parking and gas. Otherwise, no car.
We pay for airline tickets and Ubers to/from airports.
Many parents give kids the responsibility for “fun” money, either through an allowance or letting their student pay for that with money they earn.
If the student takes on responsibility for additional costs (eg buying clothing, paying for non-college food, trips and gas) then that requires substantially more money, which may not be possible to earn during the school year.
But it can also make the transition to adult life easier, especially if they are likely to be in a low paid job and/or expensive city initially. My D found it helpful to budget for food during college (she mostly cooked for herself) and discover exactly how much and what she needed to buy each week at the supermarket.
Just to add, with all the talk about sorority costs. Skiing can easily cost more than a fraternity/sorority for a kid in the mountain west! But you can’t pass up the chance to ski 30+ days a year on a discounted Ikon Pass…
My kids reminded me that they did receive $200 a month freshman and sophomore years for incidentals. It was covid times, and jobs were hard to come by. They’ve never worked during the school year, but started working summers as soon as they could. As an aside, the book budget from colleges is crazy high - if you’re sending that on, your kids are probably using for other things. Neither of mine hit the annual estimate in all 4 years of spending - I actually don’t think my daughter hit $100 in her four years.
And I’ll never kick my kids off the family phone plan. Well unless phone companies start changing their structures. Single user plans are an utter ripoff. It costs literally nothing to add users to our plan. We’ll throw spouses and kids on there as long as it’s free and hopefully when it’s too unmanageable, they’ll return the favor and add mom and dad to theirs.
We have S23 on our phone plan and car insurance, because it is cheaper that way than an individual plan. But he pays us the additional monthly cost for his phone line and car.