<p>I would bet she is not the only girl who received this picture. I do hope she reconsiders going to the campus police. It is possible another girl, not as savvy as your daughter, received that picture and is scared.</p>
<p>I hope she goes too. This guy needs to be stopped now.</p>
<p>“She could put it up on facebook and “tag” it with his name, but facebook would take it down.”
LOL, i hope i never see that picture on facebook, momofwc <em>shudders</em></p>
<p>“her ___ picture”
haha, aww. yeah, that sounds really awkward. your best bet is probably just to stress how important & short the meeting will be. gl with that :)</p>
<p>I normally think that parents should allow kids to handle college difficulties themselves, but this is a situation where if my kid wouldn’t go to the police, I would fly in and take my kid and the offending picture – to the police.</p>
<p>I think it’s important to demonstrate to your D that what happened to her is totally unacceptable, and it’s important for her to turn that guy in. It’s also important for the young man to get a very clear message that what he did was unacceptable.</p>
<p>Northstarmom- Really? Would you?? I’m asking because I have been toying with the idea. She is only an hour away by car and I would be glad to go and do the dirty work. I offered to go with her and she said it was too too much to think about going with her mom. </p>
<p>I keep telling her that she may not be the only one he’s done this to. He may have been doing it all year for all we know. She just wants to forget it. I don’t want to drop it.</p>
<p>I’m afraid that the campus police will not take the complaint if it’s coming through me instead of the original recipient.</p>
<p>If your daughter has a father, tell her it is either the campus police or daddy. My daughter would much rather have the campus police deal with the guy, my husband would be on that campus in a NY minute and make a HUGE scene.</p>
<p>Yes, I am being very serious. There are very few things that I would go to one of my kid’s colleges to try to address. For instance, after H flew 1,000 miles to meet with flunking older S and S"s advisor to – with S’s permission – help S have the best chance to have a successful second semester in college, we learned our lesson when S still flunked out.</p>
<p>Your D’s situation is different. If she were willing to go to the campus police on her own, I’d let her, while being supportive as you’re being from home. However, her refusing to go would not be acceptable to me. She was the victim of some very repulsive sexual harrassment, and I think it’s very important that your D understands that her parents love her so much that they will force her to turn in the guy who did that. She also may not wish to go to the police because she’s unfairly blaming herself for that sick guy’s actions.</p>
<p>I also am concerned that if your D doesn’t turn him in, he may continue to take such actions, and may even escalate his actions toward her. In his sick mind, he may think that her lack of response means she enjoyed seeing the picture.</p>
<p>I remember taking a workshop from the therapist who created the term “sexual addict.” He talked about a man – one of his patients – who thought that virtually any signal from a woman was a signal that she was sexually interested in him. Once the man followed in his car a woman who had looked at him from her car window. He thought she was signaling him to follow her. It wasn’t until she pulled up to a police station and ran out screaming that the man realized the woman was afraid of him.</p>
<p>When I was in college, there were some guys who were making obscene phone calls to some of my friends. This was before caller ID, but we suspected who the guys were. One of the guys whom we suspected also had date raped a student by threatening to hit her if she didn’t consent. This was back in the days in which the phrase “date rape” hadn’t even been invented, and most women didn’t turn in rapists because the victim was put on trial, and unless she had been battered senseless, she was assumed to have consented.</p>
<p>Zoeydoggie, the fact that your D called you about the incident is a good thing - it means that she is looking for your advice. Ask your D if she’d consider calling the campus police if she saw a flasher hiding in the bushes by her dorm. This is a very similar situation. Your D needs to learn that there are no crimes too disgusting to report to the authorities. Cyberstalking and sexual harassment are crimes, and god only knows what this guy might do next encouraged by the fact that his victims are too intimidated to report him.</p>
<p>Only an hour away? I’d go. I agree with NSM’s concerns.</p>
<p>Did this happen in a high school or a college? I ask because D recently told me about a younger (14 year old) girl in her high school who received a picture like this from a 19 year old male. Is this illegal?</p>
<p>Here’s a link to a story in which a teacher apparently sent pictures of his genitals to students whom he also raped:
[CapeCodTimes.com</a> - Mashpee coach accused of raping student](<a href=“Entertainment in Hyannis, MA | Cape Cod Times”>Entertainment in Hyannis, MA | Cape Cod Times)</p>
<p>I’m not a parent so maybe I shouldn’ say anything but… Seriously? It was a picture… like shes never seen a naked boy before? I could see if the guy was stalking her or if he had done something physical but this is nothing. I bet he sent it out to a whole bunch of people just for attention and didn’t single any one girl out. I don’t know I just don’t get why you are acting like he raped her and yelling for the police.</p>
<p>Anyone else want to answer this or should I?</p>
<p>Go right ahead, zoey. I have been sitting on my fingers.</p>
<p>phade, please read up on sexual harrassment and indecent exposure laws.</p>
<p>This successful businessman apparently did not think that it was a crime to run around a college campus with his pants down:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1160049[/url]”>http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1160049</a></p>
<p>Please note that the guy is called “ex-exec” in the article.</p>
<p>Zoeydoggie, Do you pay for the service on this phone? If you do I would think you would have every right to object and talk to the police regarding what is received on it.<br>
I fear that “Sexting” is becoming more and more common. I agree that it is “cyber flashing” and would be upset if it was received by my daughter.<br>
A young college friend reported to me that one of her classmates (another girl) had this type of photo of her own body stored in her cell phone. The girls must be sending them out too.</p>
<p>Phade,
Presumably you are a guy.
What he did to the young woman was just as frightening as if he had exposed himself to her in person. What he did indicated a very serious lack of judgment and impulse control, and also may have her legitimately fear that he may sexually assault her or invade her privacy in other ways. </p>
<p>Here’s what U of Oklahoma says about such things:</p>
<p>"University of Oklahoma Police Department and the Telecommunications office are very concerned any time you receive a malicious telephone call. We want your stay at the university to be as pleasant as possible, and we know that abusive, annoying, harassing, obscene, or threatening telephone calls are an unwarranted invasion of your privacy. In some instances, they may also be unlawful. "
[Malicious</a> Phone Calls - The Police Notebook](<a href=“http://www.ou.edu/oupd/crankpho.htm]Malicious”>http://www.ou.edu/oupd/crankpho.htm)</p>
<p>I totally agree with NSM here. This should not be ignored. It needs to be reported, ASAP. And I would drive or fly to be with my daughter to support her in reporting this if necessary – or make sure she had a supportive friend with her. </p>
<p>When I was in college, a friend of mine was date raped. That term didn’t exist then (30+ years ago). I comforted her while she cried, and neither of us ever thought about reporting it. I feel bad about that now, even though I know I reacted the way everyone did back then.</p>
<p>Whatever. I’m sure you can find a way to make what he did illegal and demonize him for something that is, ultimately, harmless. All I know is that the human body isn’t something that should have to be hidden or be illegal to display.</p>
<p>What he did probably is illegal. In addition, normal people don’t send pictures of their genitals to random classmates. People with good sense don’t even send such pictures to their lovers.</p>
<p>Phade-- do you think it’s OK for men to get their sexual thrills by exposing their genitals in public? I’m referring now to the men who do this in real life. Is that OK with you?</p>