<p>phade- Whether my D has or has not ever seen a naked boy has nothing to do with the subject at hand. A male sending a photo of himself nude and/or body parts that normally are considered private is wrong. It can be assumed as a threat. I can’t believe in this day and age you think everything except rape is OK. You may think that if a girl sent you pics of her private parts naked that would be great. You would also assume she was telegraphing something, right?</p>
<p>I have no idea if what the male did was illegal. He may have thought it was harmless, he may have thought it was funny. Personally I do not think it is either of those things. He needs to know that, at the least, it was inappropriate and unwanted. And that is what the campus police can tell him.</p>
<p>“You may think that if a girl sent you pics of her private parts naked that would be great. You would also assume she was telegraphing something, right?”</p>
<p>Just in case he does think that way: If a girl did something like that and you weren’t involved in an intimate relationship with her, it would be a big red flag that she is the type of person to avoid having an intimate relationship with. Well balanced people don’t do things like that. This may be what you and some guys fantasize about happening to you, but women (and men) who send pictures of their exposed genitals to random people have some kind of mental problems.</p>
<p>Good God.
Phade’s attitude towards this sort of thing makes me, as a younger woman, worried about having to interact with guys like that when I go to college in a few years’ time. I doubt Phade’s interested in quite a few people - men, for instance. Would he like it if they started sending him “pictures”?</p>
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<p>I’m very hopeful that college will teach you to recognize the difference between Roman art and sexual harrassment.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is ok persay… do I think that it is something that the police should be involved with? No. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone then I don’t see the problem. Now I know what you are thinking “He is making people uncomfortable/harassing them”. Personally, I wouldn’t be bothered as long as he wasn’t touching me/masturbating on me or something like that and I don’t really understand why other people should be.</p>
<p>It can’t be assumed a threat unless he… threatened her. Maybe theres something wrong with me but I just don’t get “I’m going to force you to have sex with me whether you want to or not” from a naked picture. Yeah maybe the guy is letting her know that he’d want to have sex with her. Not a good way to go about it but I don’t think its something that merits police involvement/being listed as a sex offender and stigmatized for life like that buisness man in the article.</p>
<p>Another thing. If the gender’s in this event had been reversed this thread wouldn’t have gotten half the replies it did and the replies it did get wouldn’t have been nearly so outraged (probably wouldn’t have been a thread at all tbh). Its a double standard and its sexist and I don’t have a problem pointing out how ridiculous it is.</p>
<p>I am listed as owner of her cell phone and the plan is in my name. I think that may give me some weight with the campus police. Everyone has been telling me that D must make the report, etc. but there is the real possibility that this guy could have sent this to me if I had traded phones with D for some reason. I’ll still have to get the phone from her to take it to the police and if that is a problem then D can get her own phone and her own plan.</p>
<p>And just for the record, phade–yes, I’d have been right here right now if a woman had sent photos to my son. It’s wrong, it shows extremely bad judgement, and makes me wonder about the mental well being of the sender.</p>
<p>“I don’t think it is ok persay… do I think that it is something that the police should be involved with? No. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone then I don’t see the problem. Now I know what you are thinking “He is making people uncomfortable/harassing them”. Personally, I wouldn’t be bothered as long as he wasn’t touching me/masturbating on me or something like that and I don’t really understand why other people should be.”</p>
<p>So…do you think it’s OK for a man or woman to expose their genital in public? That is something that is illegal virtually everywhere.</p>
<p>I’d be concerned if a female had sent a pix of her genitals to my college student S. It’s simply not the type of thing that well balanced people do. Since guys are in general physically stronger than are girls, I wouldn’t have the concern about the woman’s potentially physically harming my son --something that I think most women would be concerned about if they got those kind of photos from a man.</p>
<p>But, I would be concerned about my S’s life’s becoming the target of a stalker or his being victimized in other ways by the woman, whom I’d assumed had some serious mental health problems.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t see the incident as something to ignore or laugh about.</p>
<p>It’s hard to gauge whether this is just the campus police wanting to get their teeth into an annoying problem and the kids don’t want to take the time. I know that once upon a time when I reported an obscene phone call, I made the decision not to do what I was asked to do, since I felt that it was a one time random thing. Had the problem occurred again, I would have gone through the process but it did not.
So it really depends on what is happening here.</p>
<p>I was furious at my oldest son’s high school friends who cruised some nasty, nasty sites on our family room computer when they were in college. All of them were what anyone would call “good” kids. They were just stupid in what they did, and I really gave it to them. They did apologize profusely. They were just fooling around and were not thinking.</p>
<p>I don’t pretend to understand the etiquette rules for texting nudie photos but probably they exist for our kids. Since your daughter obviously did not take this as any kind of joke and was disturbed enough to tell you about it, I agree you should follow up. And at the very least demand a public apology to her by this young man in an official setting. What I have been debating is whether to suggest her father or another older man close to her should be present for that apology in addition to you. While I think woman should be standing up for themselves and demanding respect, she was not comfortable going to the authorities herself and I don’t know what is communicated by that to the young man and his friends. (I do not in any way mean that as a criticism of your daughter! she had the excellent sense to involve you!) If you are intimidating enough, maybe a man doesn’t need to be present. But I would want to be sure the young man understood there would be immediate and serious repercussions if he makes her uncomfortable in any way again. Does that make any sense to you?</p>
<p>Saying “if, if, if” hardly constitutes a sound argument. No, it isn’t acceptable to send near-strangers “pictures.” No, it doesn’t matter what gender you are. Yes, it can devolve into stalking, harassment and possibly rape.</p>
<p>There are some kids who do text nude pictures of themselves to each other, make nude videos of themselves, etc. But if this is a picture that just came out of the blue, and the campus police are concerned , there may well be a sickie roaming around. The issue can be some stupidity or some warning. If you truly have no idea which it is, I would go through with the proper procedures in reporting this.</p>
<p>" But if this is a picture that just came out of the blue, and the campus police are concerned , there may well be a sickie roaming around"</p>
<p>One needn’t qualify the statement. Someone who sends random people pictures of their genitals definitely is a sick person.</p>
<p>phade, I found an online article where the former head of New York City’s sexual crimes unit is quoted as saying that the behavior of one out of three peepers escalates, and one out of four flashers escalates. This seems like a form of flashing to me. If it were my child receiving the picture I’d be concerned for his or her safety. I also think it is doing the young man in question a favor to report this. His behavior is not normal. He needs help to deal with this.</p>
<p>Girls do this (not randomly) but it’s of their boobs. I try to understand the changing social landscape, but this is a trend I just do not get!</p>
<p>"Exhibitionism is one of the three most common criminal sexual offenses. The other two are voyeurism (Peeping Toms) and pedophilia (child molesters). It is virtually impossible to estimate the prevalence of exhibitionism in the general population, but exhibitionists constitute about one-third of all sex offenders. An estimated 35% of exhibitionists will return to the behavior after a conviction and sentence. They have the highest rate of recidivism of all sexual offenders. Additionally, studies have demonstrated the exhibitionists do have a tendency to commit even more deviant sexual behaviors. …</p>
<p>There are three groups of exhibitionists. The first type of offender is generally inhibited, introverted, or socially adequate. He is frequently anxious, impulsive, obsessional, and sexually confused. The second group is that of individuals who are unaware of their actions due to mental retardation, an organic brain disorder, and/or extreme alcohol intoxication. These two groups are generally more dangerous to themselves than they are to others.<br>
The third group of exhibitionists demonstrates significantly more psychopathology. The sexual culmination is more important than the shock value of exposing oneself, and always involves masturbation. This offender has a more assaultive character. He often has concurrent paraphilias which may include voyeurism, pedophilia, scatologia (compulsive use of obscene language), and frotteurism (touching and rubbing against a non-consenting person). A number of these individuals (approximately 10%) escalate into a “hands-on” sexual contact of victims as opposed to the typical “hands-off” exhibitionistic behavior. It is individuals in this third group who are more likely to progress onto more aggressive sexual offenses, including rape or the sexual assault of a minor…</p>
<p>A mooning at a high school football game does not, in itself, constitute exhibitionism, or does flashing one’s breasts at Mardi Gras. However, these acts may violate the rights and/or values of others, and are technically illegal. True exhibitionists take it farther. They are not normal members of society. They are unpredictable. They operate on uncontrollable impulses and work off of uncontrollable impulses. Exhibitionists can, and often, do proceed to more aggressive and violent crimes…"
[Indecent</a> Exposure and Exhibitionism](<a href=“http://www.lawofficer.com/news-and-articles/columns/Kulbarsh/Flashers_and_Weenie_Waggers.html]Indecent”>http://www.lawofficer.com/news-and-articles/columns/Kulbarsh/Flashers_and_Weenie_Waggers.html)</p>
<p>“The fact remains that exhibitionists are no longer ‘normal’ members of society. They have broken away from standard norms, and work on uncontrollable impulses that are unpredictable. For this reason alone, they can not be grouped in such categories as ‘dangerous’ and ‘none dangerous’ because they may change at any time. Even if one wishes to argue this point, it cannot be denied that exhibitionism, even in it’s simplest form (non contact based), is dangerous in that it can produce traumatic experiences within its victims (Kapardis, 235), particularly if the victims are of a tender age.
As a general rule, many psychologists agree that any exhibitionist that comes closer than arm’s length to their victim, regardless of their initial intent, should be considered dangerous…”
[Are</a> exhibitionists dangerous](<a href=“http://www.uplink.com.au/lawlibrary/Documents/Docs/Doc81.html]Are”>http://www.uplink.com.au/lawlibrary/Documents/Docs/Doc81.html)</p>
<p>I didn’t want to keep posting but seriously…</p>
<p>[“Sexting</a>” Shockingly Common Among Teens - CBS News](<a href=“http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/15/national/main4723161.shtml]"Sexting”>http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/15/national/main4723161.shtml)
So roughly 20% of my generation are not “normal” members of society?
Now really I am done.</p>
<p>The girl barely knows the guy though. He was in the same class as her, and that is the extent of their knowing one another.</p>