<p>So, my dear friend who lives in another state just got her son’s PSAT score. She knew we had ours. She told me her son’s score and asked my son’s score. I blurted it out without even thinking, but now I wish I hadn’t. Also, my sister-in-law told me her two boys’ scores. I’d asked about the test prep they did and whether she was happy with the improvement (still trying to decide whether it’s worth it!). I didn’t intend for her to tell me the scores. She did not ask for my son’s. </p>
<p>The question is: Did you share your child’s/children’s scores with family and friends? I guess I feel comfortable with some people, but not others.</p>
<p>it really doesnt matter. as a high school student everyone knows every other kids scores. second: its the Psats–it really doesnt matter- i know plenty of kids including me who didnt study whatsoever and didnt try as hard as possible (ie stayed up late the night before) so it doesnt even reflect anything about a kid- even if it did- who cares if another person knew?</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask someone point blank what their kids score was. However, I think it’s reasonable to ask about whether someone was happy/had success with a prep program- that doesn’t mean they have to share scores. They could have responded, “Yes, we were happy; his scores jumped 100 points”, or “Yes, we were happy; there was a definite improvement”. If they chose to share- well, they chose to share.</p>
<p>Personally… my kids would get very angry if I tell people their GPA’s, scores, etc. They feel it’s their personal business, and I have to agree. I made the mistake of telling someone once (nosy family member) and I heard about it from them! Can’t say as I blame them; I’d be upset if my parents went around telling other people what my scores and grades were. If the subject comes up, I tell people “My son shares his grades and scores with me, and he doesn’t have to. I don’t want to breach his trust by blabbing it to other people. If you’re really interested, I’ll ask him if it’s OK to tell you, and get back. He’s doing very well.”</p>
<p>I don’t include some of the online stuff in the same category, though- because of the anonymity thing. Not the same thing as personal friends, close family members, people you come in contact with face to face.</p>
<p>One of my best friends is 33 years old, a graduate of a nationally famous college, and the recipient of a named full scholarship at a top-ten MBA program, where she has grades near the top of her class. She is interviewing for management consulting positions. Guess what the top firms in the country required on the application? Right, her SATs.</p>
<p>No, I don’t recall ever telling anyone precisely what my daughter’s scores were. I believe my wife told her mother, but then again she tells her mother EVERYTHING! </p>
<p>I am a little surprised by Wneckid’s statement that “as a high school student everyone knows every other kids scores.” In my daughter’s school the kids treated their scores as though they were state secrets. Never any discussion, and if someone had the audacity to ask they were politely (or not so politely) told “no.” This student-imposed prohibition on talking about standardized test scores carried over to a lesser degree with talk about college applications and admissions decisions. She is part of the most competitive class of kids in her school in a generation and I think they are keeping the lid on college talk in order to maintain the peace.</p>
<p>Yes, but not the same as a nosy neighbor asking. An employer has at least a modicum of a reason to ask about academic performance. A friend or family member (that isn’t in the position of offering opportunity?)- it’s just nosiness.</p>
<p>Yeah, I know it isn’t the same, doubleplay. I was just stunned that the SATs might follow you THAT far into your professional career. I mean, I can see employers asking for her GMAT, but she took the SAT fully 16 years ago. I can’t believe the employers actually get any useful info from the SAT, yet most of the big-name consulting firms asked.</p>
<p>hudsonvalley, at my high school, scores were locked away like nuclear launch codes. The counselor didn’t even say them out loud…he slid them across the table to you. The possibility that you might tell your scores or grades to another student was so shocking, it wasn’t even discussed. At my 10th reunion, I realized that many members of my class didn’t even know that I’d flunked out. But I went to a weird crunchy high school, so I didn’t think that was true everywhere.</p>
<p>It depends on the situation, I think. My mom told her sister our scores, I’m assuming, but they tell each other everything. My aunt is also in her 70s, so it’s not as if she has kids going through the process, and she’s very interested in our lives–a little like a grandparent would be, I think. My dad told his football buddy my sister’s scores when he seemed interested. Two years years I was applying to college’s and so was this guy’s son. My dad’s friend told my dad his son’s scores (the kid got the highest score in his school, and they were really happy about it) and asked about mine. Well, I had gotten about 150 points higher than his son, so my dad just said that I “did pretty well” or something to that effect. My parents would never share our scores if they felt the other parent was looking for a comparison. It’s important to think about 1) whether/why you want to share the scores, and 2) whether/why the other person wants to know. If it’s genuine interest in your child or in the college process and you feel comfortable sharing, I don’t see the problem. In other instances, though, I’d keep it private. If asked, you can give a vague answer (“Oh, Susie’s pretty happy with her scores, but I think she’s going to try a retake in June or October.”).</p>
<p>Edit, on the sharing scores thing… I went to a very competitive but small private school in NE. Everyone knew where everyone else was applying, and all acceptances were announced and celebrated. Generally people knew about rejections if the person had talked a lot about how much they loved the school or how nervous they were about decisions coming out. There were a few exceptions, but overall people handled each other’s acceptances and rejections very well and maturely, comforting those who were rejected, giving advice to people who were deferred, celebrating other’s acceptances (but not around people rejected from the same school), quietly celebrating your own success. Scores were a little different. Some of the top students in my grade liked to share grades and scores with each other, so I usually found out. Other people, including some who did well, kept their scores private. I didn’t volunteer mine, but I would give them if asked (which I was, on occasion, by friends who like to know that type of information). It was a bit of a fragile situation, but it worked out fine by people being OK with sharing or not-sharing. No one talked badly about other people’s scores or anything like that. Most people were very supportive of each other.</p>
<p>At D/D’s school grades, scores etc are kept private. Your own class rank is not revealed to you until around senior year, I think. But it doesn’t stop some students from sharing their own grades and scores quite openly. Others choose to keep everything very private. Kind of like adults and incomes.</p>
<p>I’ve kept it vague in person and been more specific here, though usually by PM. Kind of no one’s business socially. I’m surprised that employers might care.</p>
<p>D didn’t improve much on her PSAT from last year, and just missed the cut-off for commended students, so naturally she is disappointed. Over the holidays, when asked, she/we did not give specifics, but did say she was in the 96% percentile and that it will help her a lot in preparing for the SAT’s, which are much more important. Gotta see the positive in everything!</p>
<p>Now class rank, when it is first announced, will be a whole other ball of wax…not looking forward to the tongues wagging then…</p>
<p>I told only my mom and my sis ldgirl’s PSAT and SAT scores because Nat’l Merit was on the line and they were right there crossing their fingers with me. But I would never tell another irl parent her scores or grades. She and her friends had a ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’ policy about such things…they were incredibly competitive and realized early on the only way to preserve friendships was to keep the topic of grades and scores taboo. So my position was… if she’s not telling, then I’m not telling.</p>
<p>My H pointed out to me that my D’s SAT scores are HER scores not mine. If she wants to tell someone HER scores she can. She has shared her scores with her friends, but I don’t give out her scores. SO if someone asked me, I’d simply have to say - you’ll have to ask my daughter.</p>
<p>My son’s school will pass it out next week in homeroom. I’ll be curious to see what he says about whether there is much chatter. I have no idea whether the kids will guard the number closely or share.</p>
<p>Of course, thanks to you smart people on CC, we were one of the lucky ones to see his score during that window when they were up on College Board, so no surprises for him.</p>
<p>My daughter and her friends seem way more reticent about sharing scores, grades, etc, than we did 40 years ago. It could be because her school is so competitive.<br>
As an aside, one job interview I had when I was 34 and had been out of the MBA program for 10 years revolved about the fact I had been valedictorian. Clearly my 10 years of work experience didn’t matter–the company also clearly was not a fit for me!</p>
<p>I go to a very competitive school in NJ. Most of my friends are in the top 10%of our class, competitive AP classes, etc. Some people chose to share their scores, others didn’t. Most of us talked about the admissions process extensively. Within my smaller group of friends, we all know everyone’s scores. Within larger groups, I know a ballpark score for almost everyone (someone will say something like: well at least all of mine are above a xxx and my writing was the highest at xxx). Scores are often shared for advice on retaking, applying, etc. We don’t rank, so there is no issue there, although I do know most of my friend’s GPA’s. As far as acceptances/rejections go, we all pretty much know who in our grade is applying where and no one is really afraid to share. It helps that (statistically) almost everyone in my school will graduate and go on to a 4-year college. We have this big space in the front lobby of the school on the wall where students can make and post signs for their friends announcing their acceptances for everyone to celebrate. Everyone is really kind about deferrrals/rejections and even though a lot of people within the same group will apply to the same schools, everyone seems to genuinely root for each other (at least externally )</p>
<p>My sophomore son got his PSAT scores today. They definitely discussed it among themselves as he said his scores were higher than anyone else’s he talked to - though he didn’t talk to the kids he thought would be the top scorers in his class. I was surprised he did comparatively well as his scores were much lower than his brother’s except in the reading section. The good thing is that they should go up - he skipped lots of math problems because he hadn’t seen the material yet.</p>
<p>I don’t know what my sibs made on the SAT. I was asked a couple of times by potential employers about my SAT scores.</p>
<p>My parents don’t know what DS1 made on the SAT/SAT-IIs. I haven’t posted any of his scores publicly here, at his request, though he will let me share them in certain circumstances. </p>
<p>My niece (a soph) brought her scores over for us to see and analyze while we were visiting my parents over winter break, and it became clear we wouldn’t be sharing DS2’s scores with anyone, either. Too big a spread between the kids. DS2’s scores (he’s also a soph) went up 22 points from freshman year – the joys of 9th grade English taught in full IB mode! </p>
<p>DS2 was pleased, stunned at his writing score, and I think a little relieved about the total score. He wasn’t very happy with his 9th grade PSAT. With practice and some work on the math section, he has a good shot at making NMSF next year (we live in a high-score state). That would open up some good options for him.</p>
<p>Zoosersister is in an IB program in an inner city school where most kids outside of IB don’t go to college. She happens to be a very good test taker (she’s a sophomore) and when the scores were handed out in English class, the teacher said “Wow, these are great scores. You scored 400 points higher than the next highest person.” Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well and we were not happy. As some of you may remember, this daughter has a classmate whose mother is insanely competitive with our kid. So this will be the next thing that sets this woman off. I know the teacher didn’t mean any harm, but this mother physically attacked my husband over something that my daughter won over her daughter. Point being, some things should be private unless divulged by the student.</p>
<p>Supposedly, my son’s SAT (or SAT2) scores were announced at a district board meeting…perhaps they didn’t mention him by name but it must have been pretty obvious as several people congratulated him afterwards.</p>
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