<p>H.S. senior daughter is beginning her campaign to attend Bonnaroo, a 4-day music (rock) and arts festival this summer in Manchester, TN. I’d not heard of it before, so am trying to get more information as we decide. Looking at their website, they list some great bands, lots of peace and love and handwashing stations. Googling past years’ events I find drug busts and stories of fatal heatstroke. (This is an outdoor concert event…)</p>
<p>Okay…some factors. She will have graduated h.s., and I know that next year in college she’ll probably be in a co-ed living situation, making her own decisions. Yet somehow that feels a little more controlled than a 4-day outdoor music festival. (I keep thinking of Altamont…) She wants to go w/a group of 4 guys (one of whom is her boyfriend) and one other girl. They are talking about sharing a 2 room tent. Although the rest of the group will be 18, she will still be 17, and she doesn’t yet drive (this is on summer’s “to do” list). The event will end up costing several hundred dollars, between tickets, gas and food, etc, which she doesn’t have, and would want the event as her graduation present. It’s about 6 hours away. She does have a history of hypoglycemia and gets dehydrated easily. She’s a pretty, sheltered girl (who perhaps thinks she is more worldly than she is)…</p>
<p>I’m not really comfortable with this…but I do tend toward overprotectiveness. Does anyone have experience with Bonnaroo, or ideas what you would do regarding allowing a 17 year old to head out for 4 days in a co-ed tent, in this setting???</p>
<p>My 19 year old daughter went last year and my soon to be 18 year old daughter will go this year. They go w/friends, and several of their friends go as well, working coffee/food booths (originating from Vermont.)
As far as costs…several hundred dollars?! Gosh, my daughter volunteered to work and got her ticket free of charge. Other daughter will do the same. You can google the concert and see the grounds. I know the concert tends to be VERY hot but there is plenty of water available, food, etc. Kids get exhausted, sweaty, nothin a good shower can’t take care of a few days later.</p>
<p>Not sure I would be comfortable allowing a high school senior to go. Then again, I have never let any of my kids attend the senior week bash at the beach to celebrate graduation from high school. Bonaroo equals lots of drinking and drugs as reported by my 21 year old who went for the first time last year. He thought it was great!</p>
<p>My son wanted to go in hs and we told him the only way we would let him is if hubby went with him. He never went. Now that he’s in college…will probably let him go. He asked the other day.</p>
<p>I didn’t allow beach week either but I figure once they’re in college, they’re doing what they want most of the time anyway. Just hope they use good judgement at this point.</p>
<p>I think you should make your daughter sleep in a tent for 4 days in your backyard - sleep, eat, clean. See if she lasts for 4 days. My girls wouldn´t last a day.</p>
<p>DD’s friend is in charge of staffing Bonnaroo, so she has worked several festivals in order to get a free ticket. The first year she worked, she had just graduated high school. I couldn’t imagine her going back because she came home coughing and sneezing dirt for days. She stunk when she got home, but I’m sure it wasn’t any worse than anyone else there. It costs to use the showers and I’m pretty sure most kids would rather spend $7 on something other than a single shower use. Manchester is just a bit more than an hour from our house and we know NEVER to venture that way during Bonnaroo. The interstate is at a standstill for hours, but that’s expected by those who go and they make a party of that, too.</p>
<p>Whether or not you decide to let your DD go really depends on how you feel about her maturity level. Yes, there are plenty of drugs there (reported by DD and the news) and plenty of booze, too. If I remember correctly, they hand out free water so there shouldn’t be a problem with people staying hydrated as long as they actually drink the water. I sent a case of water with DD to ensure she would have enough. There have been some health concerns and even some deaths (both drug and heat related) at Bonnaroo. If you know and trust your DD’s friends, I see no harm in letting her go. It will be a time she’ll remember always.</p>
<p>My son went the summer after his first year in college, he’s a third year now. His friend supposedly had packed a tent. When they arrived they realized all they had was a tarp! Of course it rain a bit over the 4 days but I think they had the time of their lives. They are planning to go back this summer…better prepared!</p>
<p>Nice lineup- wow There are tents & such with food & water at these events. This would be a good test of learning to take care of herself, if as you say she is inexperienced.</p>
<p>I totally understand your hesitance- I went to Sasquatch with my D on her 18th birthday at the end of her senior year- She didn’t want to stay for R.E.M. ( who was playing last) & if I left they wouldn’t let me back in, so I anxiously awaited her text that she had made it back to the campground alright.</p>
<p>Little did I suspect that * the next year* on her birthday she would be traveling around Goa! :eek:</p>
<p>My son went the summer before senior year of high school. He drove 13 hours from Dallas. He took a classmate from boarding school with him, and that boy’s parents paid for the tickets. I was petrified by the whole thing, but he survived. It was hot, muddy, rainy- but the music was great. That was before we lived in the area (Nashville). We hear all the horror stories here, of course, but overall it appears to be well-managed with relatively few “incidents”.</p>
<p>I went to Coachella with two of my friends Spring Break of last year (I was a sophomore in college at the time). Pretty much the same thing, except maybe the genre.</p>
<p>It was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. Yes, there are a lot of drugs (mainly marijuana) around, but that’s true for pretty much anywhere if you look for it (especially in CA).</p>
<p>We found that most of the people there were pretty friendly. They actually control the alcohol pretty well; they catch pretty much anyone trying to bring it in (bottles have to be clear and must be empty when you bring them in) and once you’re there they restrict it to a certain area (this is if they do it the same way Coachella does, which I would assume they do).</p>
<p>If your daughter is responsible and going with friends she trusts, I say let her do it. The lineup looks amazing and I’m sure she’ll have a fantastic time. </p>
<p>Also, I think it’s worth adding that half the fun of doing stuff like this is not only the event itself, but traveling to and from the event with your good friends. Because of school commitments, we had to leave our Northern California school and start the drive to Indio (about a 9 hour drive) at 9:30 at night. We drove all night and had a total BLAST, got to Palm Desert at about 6:30 AM, slept until 11 and went to the festival…repeated this for the entire weekend. Left after Phoenix, one of the closing acts, at about 10, and drove back to school, got there at around 5:30 on Monday morning and went to class at 1PM (at least I did). I have so many fond memories from that trip.</p>
<p>I would just say to remember that the people who run these events have been doing so for years; they know how to try and keep people safe. Of course there are going to be incidents, but it’s that way at any event where you get a huge number of people together (we heard there were 250,000 at Coachella last year–a record-breaking number for them–and they’re expecting more this year). There was definitely good security presence and it would have been easy to find help if we needed it.</p>
<p>My son missed his first Bonnaroo last summer in 6 years due to medical school; how dare school get in the way of his concert travels :)</p>
<p>If memory serves me correctly, his first Bonnaroo was between Junior and Senior year of high school. His friends were campers, while my son had never had the outdoor experience. When he came home Sunday night/ Monday morning, the first thing he did was take a very long shower before hitting the bed. While he wasn’t fond of the camping, he loved the music and was hooked.</p>
<p>Like some of the other posters, my son worked a few shifts in order to gain free access to the concerts. Did he drink while there, probably so; but nothing like what you hear on the news. There are sober, normal people that attend every year. I know of people my age, yes, that old, that have attended! As the boys got older, they got more serious about what they took with them and grill most nights and had other food to cover the weekend so that they didn’t have to buy the crap sold there.</p>
<p>If you trust your child, let her go. Make sure she has money and a power charger for the car so that cell phones can be charged.</p>
<p>My older daughter went following her freshman year in college, drove from NY with two friends. That to me was the scariest part… but it worked out fine, they had a great time…but seemed to be a one-time only event. The heat and sleeping in a tent grew old pretty quickly.</p>
<p>I’ve never gone by myself however I’ve had quite a few friends drive from PA out to Bonnaroo . They basically said you will get dirty, it will be hot, you won’t shower for a few days, you won’t sleep much, people will drink and people will do drugs. That being said, they love it and go every year. Not my thing.</p>
<p>That being said, I did have a customer in FL tell me last year that her 19 yr old step daughter went with her boyfriend (they tried to get them not to go because they didn’t think they could handle such a long drive.) Anyway, they wound up totaling their car on the way there. </p>
<p>It all depends on the kids. If they are responsible and you know them all and feel comfortable with it, then maybe. All parents are different… Would my mother have let me go at 17? No. I did drive from PA to FL with friends for spring break every year during college and that she had no problem with (albeit I was an adult…).</p>
<p>My boys attended together 3 years ago when one was 17, the other 21. They had a great time. Fast-forward to last summer, we all went together with a group of their friends. I have never been so hot, sweaty, all-around dirty, physically exhausted (lots of walking) and sleep-deprived. We had so much fun we’ve already bought tickets for this summer. The music was amazing, the other concert-goers were friendly and helpful, and the people running it seemed to know what they were doing. Our only real complaint was the weather and the porta-potties. Apparently they changed vendors last year and they weren’t cleaned as frequently as they should have been.
I loved it, and I’m closer to 60 than 55.</p>
<p>I’m bumping up this thread because of an issue I’m having with my son and Bonnaroo. Looking for the good advice of the CC folks.</p>
<p>Son is 19 1/2 and in college. A girl he knew from HS, who is 15, going on 16 wants him to accompany her to Bonnaroo. So far it would just be the two of them (they’re friends - have never dated). Her mother is apparently okay with this, saying my son is the only one she would trust to take her daughter.</p>
<p>I’m struggling with this on some many levels. I’m fine if he wants to go to Bonnaroo with his buddies or even a small group (including the girl) but I feel like he (as an legal adult) is putting himself in jeopardy if something should happen to this girl (as a minor) since he would be her only companion. Also, not keen on him being responsible for her should she start making bad decisions in regards to partying, etc. It might be hard for him to control her whereabouts and actions. Not to mention it looks bad. I have a very difficult time imaging I would ever let my 15/16 year old daughter go to a 4 day music festival by herself with a young man in college, particularly just the two of them.</p>
<p>I was hoping this idea would die a natural death but so far it hasn’t. Son has given me permission to call the girl’s mother. My gut instinct at this point is to say no unless other people are going with them. I’m not even sure what to say to the mom, other than “Are you nuts?” It’s not that I don’t trust my son. He is very protective of his girl friends but I just feel like this is a situation that could end badly. I wouldn’t even let son go to Bonnaroo when* he* was in HS.</p>
<p>From my perspective, I wouldn’t necessarily make a decision on whether or not it looks bad, because frankly, if I’ve educated myself on a choice I need to make, and make what I feel is the best choice, I don’t care what others think. But that’s just me.</p>
<p>What does concern me, and I think you hit on it, is the reality that it’s just the two of them. Not that anything sexual will go on, but in a situation like this, there’s just power in numbers of friends together. You know what they say about the teenaged brain… put five teenagers together and the potential for one whole adult-capable of making responsible decisions rises exponentially. If it were my kid (first of all, I wouldn’t let my kid go to anything like that at age 16, unless it was close to home and they came home in evenings (but I know that’s not how Bonnaroo works), I’d allow it as long as there were more friends going. There’s just safety in numbers and if anything goes wrong (could be something as simple as getting a wallet lifted or bad weather rolling through), it’s comforting to know you can consult with other kids on what should be done. I, too, tend to be a bit overprotective (well, I’m probably more in the middle).</p>
<p>totally agree with safety in numbers. suggest four, not two.</p>
<p>as for the OP: if her friends are responsible and your D understands to drink water and seek shade when possible, then it might be okay. the problem is that the tents are far from the music and the walking back and forth could be tiring in the heat!</p>
<p>@momlive i agree with those above about the safety in numbers… also, it would be a lot more fun with more people.</p>
<p>and to the OP i would let her go. my D is graduating in june at 16 and is traveling to a similar event a few weeks later. i am very confident she can manage herself, and unless your daughter is completely clueless, i imagine she can, too… my D will be attending vanderbilt next year and has already planned to do the maymester and then head down to bonnaroo before coming home for the summer. the lineup this year is amazing and i wish i could go!</p>
There are tents & such with food & water at these events. This would be a good test of learning to take care of herself, if as you say she is inexperienced.</p>