<p>Well, BBD, my kid didn’t apply to schools on the vine, so we have no reason to beef about the grapes. Haven’t personally tasted any, lol.</p>
<p>I’m trying to help people get to this place (we’ve all heard it before and it’s easier said than done) –</p>
<p><this works=“” with=“” your=“” deity=“” of=“” choice,=“” right?=“”> grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.</this></p>
<p>blossom - The school packaged his application. They reviewed all his essays, ensured all the material was error proof, the teachers were part of all of the students’ application process. So all of what ifs we throw up don’t apply including applying to the wrong schools etc. since the school is advising the student what is appropriate for his level given their prior experience. If they got 9 people into Yale, 4 to Harvard, 3 to Stanford, 2 to Columbia etc this year and they manage the entire process, they definitely know what they are doing.</p>
<p>Bay - I will keep in mind to change my moniker, post that one irrational message but don’t ever come back to that thread!</p>
<p>Btw- choice was the wrong word. Preference is more like it since choice assumes an acceptance.</p>
<p>BBD, a couple of quick notes:</p>
<p>Prestige isn’t as highly valued in all parts of the country. </p>
<p>Regardless of whether or not a kid would have a shot, some kids aren’t going to want to move 3000 miles away from home.</p>
<p>
How about sad, perplexed, disappointed, and jealous of others in your same school who got in although, as best you can tell, they are no more qualified than you? And what if it’s not just one particular elite college, but five of them?</p>
<p>Personally, I have more sympathy for people in this situation. Sure, they should know what the odds are, but one of the main way we calculate the odds is by looking at what other kids in the same high school have done over previous years. That’s what the Scattergrams are for, after all.</p>
<p>texaspg,
By your reasoning, the students at that school never have any rejections at all. In that case, your friend’s result are quite shocking.</p>
<p>P.S. BBD, you shouldn’t take swings at people’s kids just for grins, especially ones about whom you likely know absolutely nothing.</p>
<p>Deborah - Those kids in Hawaii definitely like their beaches better to move just because USNWR does nt give them a top 50 school! :p</p>
<p>Bay - you are missing the point of being an elite kid in an elite school who is expected to make it to a top school when a bunch of his peers did make it.</p>
<p>Hunt - You expressed that beautifully.</p>
<p>The Scattergrams provide ranges, Hunt – a history of ranges, and that’s all. They do not provide details. And college admissions these days is all about the differential details.</p>
<p>I think Naviance is terrific myself. I like it for inclusion purposes, but even more so for exclusion purposes. (Helps for some students, especially, to see visibly what would not be terribly realistic for them.) Those visuals can be pretty informative. But as for inclusion, it merely helps to shape a list of realistic efforts, not outcomes.</p>
<p>texaspg,</p>
<p>I don’t think I missed the point. Unless every top kid from that school got into every HYPS that s/he applied to with the GC’s support, every year, there really is no basis upon which to <em>expect</em> that your friend will get into any of 4 of them, especially when he is unhooked.</p>
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</p>
<p>Do you feel that colleges should be responsible for fulfilling those local expectations – perhaps denying a spot to someone at a different school who is even more “elite” than this student? Should they interview each plausible candidate to determine which student is under more familial, school, or societal pressure to be admitted to an arbitrary “elite” level?</p>
<p>“Do you feel that colleges should be responsible for fulfilling those local expectations – perhaps denying a spot to someone at a different school who is even more “elite” than this student?”</p>
<p>No. But I am wondering whether to throw in my Asian Male race card into this game.</p>
<p>I am surprised that the GCs at this elite prep school set this student up for disappointment. You would think they would know better. Our GCs are constantly reminding our students how difficult it is to get into top colleges.</p>
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</p>
<p>Did any Asian males at this prep school get into top colleges?</p>
<p>He was the only one in that batch. One went to Yale last year though that I know of and he did get into Princeton too.</p>
<p>This kind of discussion, it seems to me, brings out certain mindsets that people have. Some people, for example, always prefer to think that the Ivy League schools make rational decisions, and that any kid with apparently top qualifications who was rejected must really, if you knew the details, have something that the schools didn’t like–or at least that the other kids who did get in were somehow “better” in some way that we can’t observe. Others think that the decisions can be unpredictable and capricious, and that they shouldn’t be. I tend to think that the reality is, like it usually is, a mixture of all these points of view. Sometimes, a kid is rejected from all Ivies for some unknown cosmic reason, when even a full review of the details would make you think he should have been admitted. When that happens, I feel sorry for that kid.</p>
<p>Hunt - I agree. I was only throwing the example out there about expectations and why we should nt be unkind to parents who sometimes vent about it. </p>
<p>We all have ambitions for our kids. Only we know how to feel when things dont go our/their way.</p>
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</p>
<p>What would that kid look like? From what I’ve read here on CC and seen in real life, there has never been any magic formula for admission.</p>
<p>Hunt, #1137, yeah, we don’t want to see a kid hurting. I think part of how a parent can help is by not carrying the upset longer than the kid does. Kids so often are able to recover from a setback much more quickly than us old fogies. Let 'em! Of course, if you try hard enough to convince a kid it’s the end of the world, the kid might start believing you (they care about what their parents think!). Hopefully no one here wants to go that route.</p>
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<p>Not everyone has realistic ambitions for their kids. Apparently, some students have killed themselves over their inability to live up to their parents’ ambitions for them.</p>