<p>I think there are plenty of good parents who spank simply because they were raised that way and haven’t really put a lot of thought into it. Maybe they’ve tried other things that didn’t work and gave up, or have seen parents who don’t use any kind of discipline whatsoever and just assume that it’s the lack of spanking which is the problem. Some people have been quoted “spare the rod and spoil the child” so many times that they just cannot see that any other way could be as effective.</p>
<p>Of course they are running the show. If you think otherwise you are just engaged in a stupid power play or control trip. </p>
<p>Not only did I bribe my kids, I spoiled them, and still do. And, they spoil me back.</p>
<p>Nrd,
"Only bribes and spending your time with a kid works. " - in this statement you have ignored that second part which is connected to the first one by “and”, so it is your reading and NOT my writing that interpreted my opinion incorrectly. Bribes have worked wonderfully, corrected huge behavioral problems, spending time with kids and making them to understand that they are priority number 1 in parent’s life is working wonderfully in correcting behavioral problems and having fun in life in general.<br>
Punishments that I have used with my kids have created additional problems, all kind of negative talks have also created many problems that were just obstacles in correcting the original issues. But they could have worked for somebody else. All I meant is to share what has worked for me. I also make rules very clear. As I have very few of them, actually mabe only 2. I was told by others that kids are usually listen as they know that I mean what I say. One of them, I do not allow criying and whining. I did not threaten with punishment though. I just mentioned that if one is crying then he must be in severe pain and have to be taken to ER. Whining is for babies, if a 6 y o whines than he is treated as a baby. Kids seems not to like either, so they stop. These are just examples, I did not need to punish or be negative, I just stated expectations and consequences, none were punishments.</p>