<p>Even though we would be be happy to pay for our daughter to take a bus home, she prefers to hitch a ride from another student because it’s quicker. I know that is what a lot of college students do, but I don’t feel quite comfortable with it. What if his car is not reliable? What if he is not a good driver? Ok, this is crazy, but what if he turns out to be an axe murder/psycho/rapist (take your pick)?</p>
<p>I would be interested to find out what/if any advice(rule) you have given to your kids when getting a ride from other people? I don’t want to seem too neurotic, but I am concerned about her safety.</p>
<p>On Facebook, students from school would post ride information. The driver lives a few towns away, and he went to our town high school(my daughter didn’t go there) She doesn’t know him and she doesn’t know who else will be in the car. I asked her to get the boy’s name, home address, etc. The ride is 4 hours through NY and PA.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be comfortable with a student she doesn’t know, not because he is likely to be a psychopath, but because he might be a lousy, or inexperienced, driver. Bus terminals are definitely creepy places, but car accidents are far more common than assaults in bus terminals.</p>
<p>Would it be possible for you to meet this individual who drives your daughter home? My parents usually feel comfortable with letting me get rides with my friends when they’ve actually talked to them face to face to face.</p>
<p>I am trying not to be an over protective parents, but I can’t help been concerned. My husband is not as worried. I would love to interview the individual, meet his parents, but I know it would never happen. This is the first time my daughter is getting a ride from someone she doesn’t know.</p>
<p>I think you have the right to be concerned. You should talk to your daughter and let her know that you trust her judgement and let her know that you are still slightly concerned, if you haven’t done so already.</p>
<p>Does she have time to get to know him a little? If this is for Thanksgiving break, could they meet up at school and have coffee or something and talk?
I think your daughter would feel a lot more comfortable meeting this person and then making a judgement about whether she wants to be in a car with him for four hours. As a parent, I’d be watching the clock anxiously in any case, but if she can at least meet him and if she feels comfortable, I’d feel more comfortable.</p>
<p>I’m hoping my kids have enough sense and maturity to pass on a ride from someone they know to be a lousy driver. When the driver is a complete stranger it is impossible to assess if he/she seems like a responsible person.</p>
<p>The scariest drive home from school that I ever had was with my very good friend who was exhausted after finals and had trouble staying awake, but didn’t want me to drive her car.
I’d ask some questions about the proposed time of departure, amount of daylight, amount of traffic…</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Meeting him on campus is a good idea, just to get a gut feeling about him.</p></li>
<li><p>Be SURE he attends the school and didn’t just get access to look at the facebook somehow. I once gave a ride to someone from grad school (30 years ago) since I’d put up a sign on the bulletin board (remember those, with the thumbtacks…). I felt in control since I was the driver. Well, long story short, he was in his 30’s and very weird. As we got closer to his destination (Baton Rouge, LA), he acted even weirder, and tried to take psychological control over where I’d drive to once we got to the actual city. We stopped at a diner and when he went to the bathroom, I told a waitress, “I just don’t feel comfortable…” and she said, “Then go out there, throw his backpack into the parking lot, and drive away as fast as you can; I’ll distract him.” I did just that. A half hour later, I felt around where he had been sitting and he had a big hunting knife tucked behind him. Now maybe that was just his way, but I’ll never know. I was in my late 20’s so I was a bit more self-assured than as a college freshman. So these things can HAPPEN. He was just some creep who cruised the college bulletin board. </p></li>
<li><p>I really want to question all this turning up the noses at Greyhound busses?
SInce my D depended on Greyhound throughout college, we got over the issue of “creepy bus stations” by only using the daytime routes. She sat down and put her bookbag on the seat next to her. Nobody ever sat with her and she never had a problem. If it felt sketchy while waiting, she’d just be sure to sit near where the people were working. As far as seeing people who are mentally disturbed, well, that’s life in the big city. On balance, I felt MUCH safer with her on Greyhound busses, because I know those are great drivers and they have tons of metal around them, as compared to a sedan driven by a less experienced driver. </p></li>
<li><p>I believe it’s fine to say to a freshman that you’re not comfortable with this arrangement. In time, you’ll grow into it, but this is the first time home and you need some “time.” That puts it more on you than her. Ask her to indulge you this time, or this year, until you are more accustomed to her comings and goings.</p></li>
<li><p>If you feel very strongly, just get into your car and pick her up yourself. I did that sometimes, too. It’s easier than agonizing so much. </p></li>
<li><p>If she’d really like to pursue this stranger, what about proposing something to test out if he’s acceptable, such as, “My boyfriend is thinking of coming along too, would that be okay if it works out for him?” If suddenly her ride dries up, she’ll know he wasn’t up for anything good in the first place.</p></li>
</ol>
No way would I get a ride anywhere with a stranger.</p>