Should I Bow Out Of Here?

<p>I think this board is very helpful and supportive and quite knowledgable in areas other than directly related to college admissions.</p>

<p>I never went to a 4 yr school ( I dropped out of high school, took my GED and attended CC) but I found enough information on internet to help my daughter find a college that suited her and that provided sufficient aid.</p>

<p>Now I am advising students at her sisters inner city high school on the college process, and while many from her school do attend Ivies those aren’t the students I help. The students I help are going to CCs or lesser known public schools, sometimes schools like Linfield and U Redlands.
I haven’t noticed any attitude ( barely any) coming from parents and college selection, often times the teens do get hung up on “name” but so what?
They are here to learn and they often change their impressions based on the excellent advice given by the parents.
If you are getting something out of particpating on the boards, then stay, but if it is upsetting you for some reason, don’t feel badly about taking a break , this is supposed to be entertaining, not frustrating.</p>

<p>BHG, thanks for starting this thread ! It has made me realize that there are more of us with kids NOT going to ivys than I thought. I agree that this board can have an uppercrust school feeling, which makes it a little intimidating to post about a non-ivy school. My son was just accepted to Virginia Tech engineering early decision & he is thrilled. Not an ivy & money was a big part of his decision. I too wish there were more people posting about these types of schools.</p>

<p>Interesting. Don’t anyone be intimidated. My kids are great. They work hard and play hard. I help them were I can. Above all I emphasize integrity. If that don’t cut it, then too bad. My D is waiting to here from the UW (Un. of Washington). Told her to fill out an honest application. I wouldn’t let her drop any classes, even if her GPA might be affected. I didn’t let her do everything in the world. I just wanted her to be a kid. Time enough for the trials and tribulations of adulthood. Her essays turned out to be brilliant (in my mind); 3.55; 1240 and a lot of other stuff. If it is not good enough then too bad for the UW. I respect anyone who works hard to achieve their goals. However, for undergraduate work I really don’t think there is a whole lot of difference between 70% of the Universities in the country. In fact, recent research indicates that university of attendance has little to do with the life/professional outcomes of most people. To everyone; good luck and Merry Christmas!</p>

<p>That is VERY exciting for you son!! What a wonderful pre-Christmas present! I’m sure he’ll love it there. ~berurah</p>

<p>The reason that the a number of the most selective schools are so overrepresented here, is because of the very selectivity of admissions there to a small population that is used to getting what it wants. And deserves, I add. It is very difficult for me to explain to a family with a child with a top drawer profile who has done everything she or he is supposed to do his entire life, that he still only has a lottery ticket’s chance at a school that is statistically a match. What more could anyone have done? What on earth are these schools looking for? But in the scheme of things, these kids are the minority. Even in a prep school where my boys are, they are a minority, and the kids there are prescreened. But the prescreening is only among those who are interested in sending their kids to those sorts of schools.</p>

<p>I see a number of parents who are working very hard on these boards to keep their perspective on this scene, and though many found their ways to CC because they were looking for as much help as they could find on elite college admissions, they are very much aware of the way the real world works. Here I do not see too many of the types that I too often encounter when I work with families–adults who feel that the only colleges worth attending are the ones that are most difficult to get in. These are parents who are genuinely interested in finding the best match for their children and if those choices include the top colleges, they want every opportunity for these kids to have those colleges as their options.</p>

<p>The Parents Forum should not be stressful for anyone except for those who are trying to cause stress for others. A wonderful thing about CC is that anyone who does not like it can just not go to the site. Right? Or is it slightly, or more than slightly addicting?</p>

<p>Haha BHG;
Shows to go ya about the internet. Never in one million years did I guess that you might feel this way! Or that you weren’t a professional or that you wouldn’t consider Ivy schools! Was it the tennis handle? I’ve had a mental image of you in tony whites at some posh country club this whole time!! :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Anyway, your postings are clever and balanced. A terrific parent with terrific kids.</p>

<p>Don’t move away. I like to read the familiar posters. It’s like a neighborhood.</p>

<p>Panvanw -
congrats to you and your son! What a wonderful Christmas present!</p>

<p>BGH
One thing to remember about these forums is that you mustn’t take it to heart when, as my son puts it, ‘the parents forum gets its knickers in a knot’. My son is not applying Ivy, either. I also picturered you at the country club!</p>

<p>Good Grief! BHG, please stay…you belong here and, not to get PC, your kind of “diversity” helps make CC a better place for everyone. </p>

<p>This place is funny in that it reminds me of where I live, where by local standards we’re very middle class but income, in particular, would raise eyebrows about that in 99 percent of the country. </p>

<p>I have forgotten memories of having some philosophical differences with you on some issues and hope that any disagreement–Beurah has noted elsewhere that I can be caustic–has given offense.</p>

<p>I feel like I’m on “Survivor- CC parents board island”. No, you cannot leave! Anyone! We are another non-ivy family. We can’t afford them and kids (current one that’s looking) don’t have the stats anyway. It sure doesn’t bother me, I just want each of them to find what they really, really like doing and then find away to support themselves doing it. College is just one step in that process. Stay here and lets talk about how our kids can find just the right college to help with that.</p>

<p>I think you must have meant to say “has given NO offense”!</p>

<p>I would say that you are one part caustic to 99 parts erudite and helpful.</p>

<p>I, like you, have a tendency to speak my mind. Peace, berurah</p>

<p>Backhand - please stay! </p>

<p>I found this board last year and post infrequently…my S is not in the Ivy category; we live in CA and school counselor, while she tries, is oriented toward the UC’s and CSU’s - none of which have great appeal for S. this board has opened my eyes to lots of possibilities - especially for S who has great SAT’s but not as great grades - it has pushed us to investigate lots of small lesser known LAC’s that have opportunities for students like S where he might just be in the upper range of applicants…I sometimes forget that most kids are more like my S than like the S’s and D’s of most of the frequent posters here at CC - as a friend of mine used to say “God must love us average folks - he sure made alot of us!”</p>

<p>BHG, I agree…you need to stay. This board needs a diversity of viewpoint and you help to bring that. I appreciate your perspectives…they are realistic, and helpful to us. Our kids aren’t
“Ivy bound” and that is fine with us. I’ll admit that it seems like there are a lot of folks with kids applying to those top schools here…but the more I read this thread, the more I realize that there are a substantial number of us who have kids who aren’t. Here’s what I think…we folks…the non-Ivy…non-top USA schools group…need to start more threads here that ARE pertinant to our high school kids. We also probably should start more threads about the successes of our kiddos who are NOT enrolled at top schools. There’s a LOT of info we could share!!</p>

<p>COngrats to Pam’s son - Go Hokies (that’s right isn’t it?,V ech are like Ala and Auburn - 2 or 3 mascots apiece, never could keep them straight during my 4 years in VA)
BHG don’t leave, there are too many kids surfing on this forum who have little to no guidance at school, they need to hear discussions about a variety of schools - selective and non-selective, large and small, Ivy and hometown U. There is room at this table for everyone, but you guys who are out there lurking join in!
One topic that I see lacking on this board is a discussion of particular programs and strengths of lesser known schools - we hear a little about pre-med, but what about business, computer science, turf management (which evidently is big bucks)?</p>

<p>BHG:</p>

<p>it’s important that we have a communal group with all outlooks and questions. More importantly, many of the suggestions discussed here by the experts (that help kids get into the Ivies) can also be used to help get kids into top state schools, or honors programs at other public or small private schools. Stick with us and keep posting. (I do, and I don’t know what I’m doing.)</p>

<p>I suspect that the majority of people on CC are interested in and are applying to less selective schools. But less selective schools get less air time because they are, well, less selective. There isn’t as much to say about a school where you are pretty sure you’ll be accepted as there is about your lottery ticket schools. There’s no strategizing to do! I also agree with the posters who have pointed out how much of the information here is applicable to any school.</p>

<p>Something that sometimes goes on here (in fact, I recall it specifically about your original thread) is that some one will ask a question about “A”. They’ll get answers to their question, but they will also get unsolicited suggestions to consider questions X, Y, Z instead of or in addition to question A. I think this is almost always meant to be helpful (I certainly find it helpful when I ask a question and get lots of different ways of viewing the issue). If not helpful to the original poster, than perhaps helpful to someone else who has enough interest to be reading the thread. But it could be miscontrued and taken in a personal way if someone was only expecting an answer to the specific question they asked. I think of questions posted here as being kind of like looking up a book on Amazon - you’ll get reviews of the book, but you will also get lists of other books people were interested in who searched that book, or recommendations of other similar books that people like better than that book. It doesn’t imply condescension about the original book search, or require you to “defend” your interest in the original book, or have anything personal to do with you at all. It’s just a web of additional related information which may or may not be useful. And even if it is not useful to you, it could very well be useful to someone else who might be interested in whatever book you searched.</p>

<p>BHG - Don’t leave. There are many of us parents here who have children looking at less competitive and public schools. My daughter is one of them and believe me I know she’s going to have just as much of a challenge getting into those schools as some of the people with terrific stats do getting into the top schools. If you notice, I very seldom post about “prestige” schools because I know far more about the middle range of schools where I believe my daughter will get a VERY good education. So, stick around, the more the merrier. We’ll all help each other along the way.</p>

<p>Thank you AllNew!</p>

<p>I wonder if the lurkers would care to just post ONE post saying hello…no details (unless they feel comfortable doing so-maybe you can say what state you’re in). I’m just so curious about how many are out there.</p>

<p>Berurah: <glyph of=“” horrible=“” blush=“”> I edited that sentence four times and somehow the “No” got dropped. Arrgh. Now BHG <em>will</em> leave and it will be my fault. Please excuse me. I must go commit seppuku.</glyph></p>

<p>I first came here because my son was interested in attending MIT and I had heard how hard it was to get into. He’s changed his mind, but two of the schools he’s applied to, while not Ivys, are still very selective for the programs he’s applying to. </p>

<p>FWIW, I’ve learned a lot which made the process dramatically less stressful and which I hope has increased his chances (we’ll know next week). It’s not all about the Ivys, but there’s still a lot we can learn from their experiences.</p>

<p><em>LOL</em> TheDad,</p>

<p>Don’t worry, everyone makes tyops! See? NO SEPPUKU FOR YOU! (please?) ~berurah</p>