<p>If he’s out of the US make sure you have unlimited texts. Many plans don’t cover texts internationally.</p>
<p>Should you intervene in your kid’s love life? He’s in COLLEGE, right? He’s legally an adult. Stay out of it, unless you want him to resent you. Also, I totally disagree with the text monitoring. Most plans have unlimited texting and phone calls these days, so it isn’t a matter of cost (unless he’s overseas texting to the U.S., which is a different matter. he should Skype.) I don’t think paying the phone bill gives anyone the right to monitor each family member’s phone calls and texts, especially when they are adults. If I knew my mother was doing that, I would get my own phone and pay for it myself. I would also be really upset if my mother were trying to intervene in my love life. My husband’s mother is doing that right now after 22 years of our marriage and I am deeply resentful. Let go of him. I don’t care how much that study abroad program cost. Let go of him.</p>
<p>How late at night is this? In my younger days (of a few years ago) , I could be up all day and all night from 6 am -1am without difficulty. That left plenty of time to do things during the day then goo home and text/ IM for hours. Also like other posters said, some people text during all events at all times. I have been out with people before and everyone at the table/event is texting or even posting on face book. I think sometimes even faux texting. At some point adults have to live thier own lives. I don’t know what your son is like or your relationship with him is like - without knowing that I do not know if saying something or not is more trouble than it is worth.</p>
<p>Does your cell phone plan include unlimited texting overseas ? I know ours didn’t when our daughter spent a semester in Spain , but then there were no distractions to keep her from being fully immersed.</p>
<p>cbug–I added up how long our kids actually spent texting each day–it worked out to about 8 minutes and they text a LOT. It takes such a short time for them to send a text that it is quite easy for them to be “in the moment” yet still keep up with texts, etc. For example, we were out to eat the other night and sat down at the table, chatted a bit, the waitress came over to take our order and while I was ordering, the kids each sent off a couple text messages. It didn’t interrupt the flow of our conversation any more than the waitress did.</p>
<p>My kids text all day and night with people, sometimes even with people they are actually with. :rolleyes: But, the one who is stilll at home is out all of the time with friends and is still maintaining quite a few endless text correspondences with friends who’ve gone away to school. If I didn’t know this and I saw the record of her texts, I’d swear the kid was never out. But, she’s really never in, unless she’s studying.</p>
<p>YMMV</p>
<p>I’ve been in a similar situation and I agree with all of the advice to stay out of it. BUT, this is where I made my mistake - I underestimated my ability to keep my mouth shut. I stayed out of it for a long time and then one day we had the perfect storm of texting, girlfriend and grades and out it all came. Everything I hadn’t said for two months just came out and not in the most well thought out manner. Not good.</p>
<p>So stay out of it, but have a back up plan in place.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with my now 80-year-old mother and wondering why I can’t seem to have the type of close relationship that I think I have with my daughter - though I’m well aware my daughter tells me only what she wants me to know. It’s not that my mother doesn’t wish it to be so. </p>
<p>The closest I can come to putting my finger on it is that I find my mother’s gentle concern about matters I consider my business, and some of her old-fashioned ideas, extremely irritating. I try to keep this in mind (not always successfully) when I contact my daughter at college with questions or suggestions. The last time I brought up her late night texting was in high school when she was under this roof but I would not dream of approaching the subject now.</p>
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I’d suggest the following variation on this: “Hey, I just got the phone bill, and it shows zillions of texts by you. You’re not sitting around texting instead of getting out and experiencing the city, are you?” Don’t mention the girlfriend at all–indeed, it’s not that relevant who he’s texting. He’ll probably respond that he is getting out, but texting at the same time.</p>
<p>And I’d send the message as a text.</p>
<p>I like texts, because I have midrange hearing loss & I hate to keep asking " wut?" :o</p>
<p>But from reading some of the posts from students on this site, it appears that texts are all some of them read!</p>
<p>They should watch that.</p>
<p>Maybe he will text less after he transitions more and makes new friends and feels more comfortable. I don’t think it would be unusual during the first two weeks in a new environment for some kids to continue communicating with friends from home/college.</p>
<p>If it continues for another two weeks, perhaps you could ask him about the number of texts in general, mentioning that you observed on your bill that there were a large number of texts and that you were wondering if everything was okay.</p>
<p>Although he is communicating via texts, many kids abroad are staying in touch via Skype, Facebook and I-messaging. While six hours a day does seem excessive, maybe it is because he hasn’t acclimated yet.</p>
<p>Going abroad is a big deal and I am sure he will get a lot out of it even if he stays connected to his home/college/girl friends.</p>
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<p>Your instinct is correct! Say nothing at all, other than asking him how his trip is going.
If the money isn’t an issue, any reference to the texting is nosey and intrusive.</p>
<p>To the OP: </p>
<p>No.</p>