<p>Well, I’ll give you the short version. Justin my roommate who lives with my family, he was my sister’s fiance back in like 04’-05’ish…well then he decided to come out and say that he “loved me.” So he moved out, we didn’t speak for about a year…and then he started hanging out with my sister again, coming over to the house, and it all seemed fairly normal between us all again…So we needed someone to help cover some extra bills, he moves back in, this was during last summer. Well comes November, Justin and I are hanging out and all of a sudden he starts telling me how he still loves me blah blah blah, and I basically told him I only like him as a friend, and that’s all we’ll ever be, so if he can deal with that and deal living in the same house with me, than it’s fine with me as long as he doesn’t try to hit on me or anything. So he decided to stay, things were odd for a month, and then we started to hang out again and *<strong><em>…well then he asked me to go to arizona with him “just as friends,” so we went, and what do ya know, we get to the hotel room and there was ONE *</em></strong>ING BED, and then he tried to put his hand on my thigh during the night. So we got into this huge *<strong><em>ing fight, and now I have to live with someone who has completely ruined any trust or respect I ever had for the guy. It’s obvious he planned the whole *</em></strong>ing thing, tried to get me in bed, and now he’s *<strong><em>ed that I called him out on it…now he just looks like this *</em></strong>ing weirdo pervert who couldn’t get the ****ing hint. </p>
<p>should i stay or go since I have had enough.</p>
<p>Does your sister know about this?
Do your parents?</p>
<p>He’s the one that should be moving out. </p>
<p>I still don’t understand why did you go to Arizona with him… Could his intentions be any more transparent? Be careful, and try to make smart decisions, or you may find yourself in a very bad situation some day - even though (legally at least) it will not be your fault…</p>
<p>What we have here is a failure to communicate.</p>
<p>I think Justin misinterpreted your agreement to come to Arizona as indicating that you were interested in his sexual overtures.</p>
<p>Consider this: What if Justin had been Justine, your brother’s former finacee? Let’s say that she had shown a romantic interest in you, but you had said that you were not interested. Nevertheless, because of proximity or whatever, you had remained friendly. But you knew that Justine still had romantic feelings for you, which you did not reciprocate.</p>
<p>Then, assume that Justine invited you on an out-of-town trip? Wouldn’t you have been reluctant to accept the invitation? Wouldn’t you have anticipated that the trip could lead to awkward situations?</p>
<p>I think the situation is the same witbh Justin as it would have been with Justine. You accidentally conveyed the wrong impression to someone who is attracted to you. Given the awkward feelings, yes, one of you should move out. I think both of you would be more comfortable that way.</p>
<p>well my family doesnt really care for him, but we do need his help for the bills. Since we are all sharing an apartment, its just easier. I dont want to kick him out and to tell you the truth, I have been getting these feeling for him and perhaps subconsciously I did want to jump his bones in arizona, but I knew that it would be wrong because he was my sister’s fiance. Ugh, im so conflicted. Im sorry it took me a while to respond.</p>
<p>Maybe that’s more of an issue than the fact that there is at least a one-sided (and possibly mutual) sexual attraction going on between Justin and you.</p>
<p>Why would you leave your family’s home and Justin stay? If the situation is uncomfortable for you to live in the same house, wouldn’t you talk to your mom and sister about this? You could give Justin a move out date with advance notice and if your family needs the money, look for a new renter. </p>
<p>It also sounds like you have conflicted feelings with Justin. I agree with others that if you didn’t want to be entangled romantically or sexually with Justin, going on the trip to Arizona sent the wrong message. But maybe your feelings are conflicted. I also have no clue what your sister thinks of all this but many sisters might be put off by having a sister date their ex fiance. I also think it is odd to have an ex fiance live in the house for your sister’s own well being but if she is fine with it, that’s not my business. I simply don’t think the solution is your moving out of your family’s home and you should discuss this with your mom and see about how to solve and perhaps having Justin move out and find a new renter.</p>
<p>Well Justin and my sister are on and off. They are usually on but no where near where they used to be. Justin still hits on me and I feel so conflicted. I think we might have to keep justin for now, until we find some one new to take his place and will be able to cover his costs until I get another job or something. This is so frustrating.</p>
<p>Your relationship with your sister is more important in the long run than your relationship with Justin. I don’t know if your sister knows of any of the escapades between Justin and you but I would imagine it would be hurtful for her is she does. I see problems down the line if you date Justin. I also see problems if he remains in your home. It is not my business but since you asked…</p>
<p>I also do not know how old you are and whether it is time for you to live on your own. I don’t have enough information to form an opinion.</p>
<p>I looked up some of your other posts and I think you are a senior in HS, right? So, are you going off to college in the fall? If so, then problem solved.</p>
<p>yeah, but we still have a couple of months left together and Im afraid that its going to just get worse and worse and explode, but even before i move out.</p>
<p>Then, I go back to my original advice…you need to have a heart to heart with your mom and explain that having Justin in the house is a deep concern for you and that he is trying to get you to go out with him and that it is an uncomfortable situation as he also has an off and on relationship with your sister and is her former fiance (I can’t imagine why your sister wants her ex fiance living there). Ask your mom how this can be made workable and if there is a way to ask Justin to move out and find another financial solution regarding the rent…perhaps you can get a summer job to help offset this. Or else, since there are very few months left, you can spend as little time as possible at home or around Justin. If you want to date Justin, different story. However, I would advise against dating your sister’s on and off again boyfriend and former fiance unless she says she is fine with it (I can’t imagine her being so but you don’t know 'til you ask). If your sister is not fine with it, then hands off. Make it clear to Justin you do NOT want to date him at all and make sure he respects that. Since he lives in your home, and if he doesn’t comply with your strong statement, your mom can make it clear that in order to live there, he is a guest and nothing more with regard to you. You need to all be on the same page if he is to stay in the home. However, my first inclination would be to have Justin move out.</p>
<p>I will talk to my mother tonight. The reason I can move is because my mom and dad are not together so I can move in with my dad. The problem with that is that my dad doesnt agree with my lifestyle.</p>
<p>You may wish to tell your mom that the situation is so untenable for you, that you have considered moving to your Dad’s. I would think she’d be more apt to want to keep you in the house than to keep Justin, since these are her last months with you at home. But if you cannot work something out at home, you do have the option of spending a few months at your Dad’s house and you can weigh which option has more pros than cons for you.</p>
<p>You would be with your dad for just a few months before college. Would it be possible for you and your dad to avoid conflict over your lifestyle during that relatively short time?</p>
<p>^^^^Just to be clear, I meant I would advise dating this boy who I assumed is currently NOT going out with the OP’s sister but I still think dating her sister’s ex fiance isn’t cool and I can’t imagine her sister being comfortable with that.</p>
<p>Justin will be gone one day. Your sister might get out of your life one day too, but she will remain your sis. and will come back if you need her. That’ why blood is more powerful than water. As far of moving out, I guess that Justin should be the one to leave</p>
<p>Lets see- a guy who used to date your sister, but said he loved you, comes back in your life, dates sister again, but says he still loves you. So you take a trip to Arizona with him, stay in same room, stay in same bed, and you find his actions weird that he makes a pass at you while you two are in bed. HMMM- you find his actions weird. How many guy friends do you sleep with in a hotel- and before anyone is outraged, I really mean sleep- just sleep- nothing more. The poster would seem to indicate it isn’t unusual to sleep(just sleep) with a guy who has professed his love, but op says is just a friend- but she thinks it unusual for a guy to make a pass at her while in the sack with him. Seems like the fable of the scorpion and the turtle all over again.
My advice is don’t put your self in a position where this fellow can make a pass at you. To repeatedly do so would be weird on your part.</p>