Hello everyone
,
So as you all know I was applying to Princeton University and I got rejected as expected. I got into some other colleges but they are not elite. I feel like I am not settling for less though.
I am confused between going to one of those schools and taking a gap year and applying to the prestigious colleges with my full heart and seeing what happens, or else I can abandon college and education at all because this system is broken.
Attending an “elite” college does not guarantee a thing. You can have a great college experience and get where you want to go in life from many many colleges….IF you allow yourself to do so. I imagine you have some nice options in hand.
FWIW unless you do something truly extraordinary, it is unlikely that a gap year will materially alter your admissions decisions.
My advice is to move off your obsession with prestige and go forward with your life in a positive manner.
You and greater than 95% of all applicants were rejected at Princeton. Most of the rest have moved on. They have looked at their acceptances and have chosen a college from those… because, after all, they did have reasons why those schools were on their application list.
I would suggest that you look carefully at your current acceptances. You can grow and flourish at one of them, if you give the college a chance. After all, those colleges want you as a student. You need to feel good about that.
There is NO guarantee you will get accepted at some to be determined elite school a year from now.
And as noted above, attending an elite school doesn’t guarantee you success.
So what? What does it really matter? It’s just bragging rights, which is a pretty shallow thing. You can get a top notch education at many, many non-”elite” schools. And what does elite even mean? According to whom? Move on from this.
If you mean re-applying to the same schools after a gap year, it’s not a great strategy. If they rejected you once, there is a high chance they will reject you again, unless in the intervening year you win a Nobel Prize or any Olympic medal. I mean, you would have to do something AMAZING for them to reconsider their original decision, since they will still be basing their decision primarily on your high school record, which they already rejected once.
You can. But what would your alternative be?
Because it didn’t work out the way you wanted doesn’t mean it’s broken. I get you’re feeling disappointed and probably just venting here a bit, but I hope you can pick yourself up again in a few days, regroup, and make a real plan for your future, whether it’s college or something else.
The world doesn’t work like this. Not far from Princeton Fairleigh Dickinson, not reputed. Yet we had a Harvard Law working for one. I had a Stanford admin.
College is about what you make it. Guess what, people turn down Princeton and go to state schools, etc. People choose safeties over reaches.
But here’s the other thing - you didn’t get in - and what makes you think you’d get in next year?
Take a gap year for the right reason - you need a year off, you plan to grow, learn about yourself, and contribute to society.
But to take one off because you didn’t get into the college you wanted - hmmmmm - heck no. That’s silly.
You can go anywhere - and become anything. The name alone doesn’t provide that.
Get excited for where you got into. Go there and take advantage of the resources and crush it over the next four years.
Checking this thread, and a previous thread, the first thing that hit me is that we do not know much about where you were admitted. We also do not know your high school stats, intended major, or budget, or home state. Generally speaking if you give us a bit more information, you are likely to get advice that is more useful.
Exactly. Also, there are lots and lots of opportunities at a very wide range of universities.
I have been on this web site for a few years, and have already given some examples of cases where students have attended pretty good but not prestigious universities (such as something ranked in the 50 to 200 range in the US), and done VERY well. Among the various people on this web site we could probably go on for pages and pages (and bore each other to tears).
There are hundreds of very good colleges and universities in the USA, and at least as many outside the USA. There are very large numbers of very smart people at a very wide range of universities, and they tend to do very well regardless of which university they attend. What you do when you are university matters. Where you do it is vastly less important.
At some point I tried to make a list of the 10 smartest people I had ever met. As some examples this list included three MIT professors, two Stanford professors, a Canadian speed chess champion, a Supreme Court Justice, and someone who started multiple very successful high tech companies (he is not quite a billionaire, too bad). I ended up with 14 people on the list. They have all been very successful. They had gotten their bachelor’s degrees at 14 different universities. Recently I added two more people to the list. Now the 16 people got their bachelor’s at 16 different universities. This almost certainly includes some schools that you have never heard of (such as the University of the Witwatersrand). Getting a degree from a university that most of us have never heard of does not stop people from being very highly successful in life.
The last time that I checked, there were something like 35,000 high schools in the US (including public and private schools). In a recent year MIT got around about 34,000 applications. If you are the number 1 student in your high school (either in math or overall), then you are an average applicant to MIT, or to Harvard or Princeton or Stanford. These schools have an acceptance rate somewhere around about 4% or maybe slightly less. If you are the top student in your high school, you are exceptionally likely to be turned down by all four of these schools (if you apply to all four). If you take a gap year and apply again a year later, you will probably be turned down again. This does not really matter (although I would skip the gap year). You can attend any one of a very wide range of other very good universities and do very well.
And it is perfectly normal for a graduate from MIT or Stanford or Princeton or Harvard to work for a boss who graduated from Rutgers or U.Mass or a university that you have never heard of.
Attending a “prestigious” university really is not important. It might allow high school students and their parents to brag a bit. That is about all that it does. Yes Princeton has multiple very excellent programs. So do hundreds of other universities.
Admissions at the most “prestigious” universities is not strictly only merit based. Again this really does not matter. There are lots and lots of very good universities, and in my experience academically excellent students can get accepted to schools that will provide them with a very good education, even if these schools are not considered “prestigious”. At least in my experience hiring managers seem to have also figured this out, and understand that outstanding recent university graduates come from a wide range of universities.
I am expecting that if you tell us where you were admitted, we will discover that this includes some very good universities where an academically strong student can do very well.
How much is really going to change in the next year? Unless you’ve got an idea for an enriching gap year that will add new layers to your record of accomplishments, you’re still applying with the same high school record, which will likely yield the same results, whatever they were, this time around. Schools that rejected you the first time will likely do so again.
But this?
The system is not broken because you didn’t get into Princeton. I know nothing about you, or your record, but I do know that a lot of outstanding, motivated, driven students with perfect (or near-perfect) grades and scores got rejected from Princeton today. It doesn’t mean the system is broken. It just means there aren’t enough places for people who want to be there. The system is not broken because, as others have pointed out, there are thousands of quality institutions around the country where you can get an outstanding education. Whether you’re at Princeton or Directional State U, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Your statement – prestige or bust, either I get in or the system is broken – makes it seem like the label is more important to you than the education. If that’s the case, my guess is that Princeton saw it, too.
Maybe I’m wrong – I hope so. I hope this is just the disappointment talking. You’re seventeen or eighteen, and your ego is bruised, and you feel let down. That’s entirely okay. Feel your feelings – you have a right to them. But also take an honest look at the opportunities you do have, research them, and start to let yourself feel excited about them. Your success is within your own control, not Princeton’s. If you understand that much, it will put you on the path toward academic and career success more surely than a Princeton acceptance would have.
ETA: I do remember communicating with you on an earlier thread. What were your safeties, and were you admitted? I hope, for your sake, that your family has toned down the prestige pressure.
Your focus on prestige is misguided. Are you in an environment that emphasizes this? Your post makes me concerned. You may make a decision that is unwise. I suggest seeing a counselor short term to help with your feeling that only “elite” colleges are worthwhile, that the “system is broken,” and that a gap year is a better idea then attending where you have been accepted.
The system is not broken. Your expectations are. Congrats on having several college acceptances. Pick one and enjoy the next 4 years.
Which ones?
WOW, “Princeton saw my focus on label more than education.” This hits home for real. But hey, people, don’t get me wrong I appreciate where I got in. I got into Davidson and Bates, and I’m still waiting for GU-Q. Most probably I’ll get rejected because of the conflicts and the chaos in that region, but I don’t care anymore.
If you try to understand me, you won’t judge me. Let me tell you about myself I am the fourth child in my family. My sister is at NTU Singapore, one of my brothers is at Dartmouth, and another is at NYU Shanghai. Growing up I’ve always been the “promising” one everyone in my family expected better from me.
Now I can’t even face anyone without tears threatening to fall. I can’t even form a full word without crying. But then what else can I do? Maybe I’ll try to improve or do something extra ordinary and then apply to other good colleges I didn’t apply to this year and see if I get into any of them. Because I only applied to Princeton, Davidson, Bates, Kenyon, and GU-Q.
Do not think of me as someone who can’t pull their ■■■■■ together and move on. Trust me I can. But I have a family to impress.
Davidson and Bates
Yeah, my expectations are the broken ones and for the record I am sorry for my language that was rude
Two excellents schools. Do you feel like neither one fits you? Is your family really disappointed in these choices, or is it the pressure you are putting on yourself?
Please talk with a mental health professional. One at your HS, or a private one. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you should process these feelings and learn coping mechanisms, if they last beyond a typical couple day period to mourn denials. College admissions are going to be far from the most difficult situations you face in your life.
You will start applying in about six months from today. That’s not much time to significantly change anything from the applications you submitted this year. We don’t know anything about your academics or activities but if there is ONE thing I would encourage you to consider between now and then it would be to get a job. A paying job.
But I would strongly encourage you to pick one of the schools that WANTS you.
Good luck.
Davidson and Bates are amazing schools!!! Congratulations!!!
I realize they may not have the same name recognition outside the US but these are truly wonderful schools with very competitive admission!!!
Davidson is one of my very favorite LACs, with such a gorgeous campus, beautiful weather, and a sweet town. And their academics rock!
Bates is very highly regarded as well!
If your options are affordable, please do not squander these fantastic choices!!!
Those are great options! You applied to these schools for a reason. Please think back and remember why and choose the one that you feel that suits your personal goals. These are excellent academic institutions that will provide you with a wonderful education. These are not schools where you need to worry about “prestige” or “outcome studies“.
Thank you everyone. I think my life will be better no matter where I end up going. At this point, I even feel like not going to college at all. Everyone dared me to get into Princeton, and then I failed.
It is only now that I realize what mattered more to me was the name Princeton, not the education I would get from there. Of course, getting in would have been better, but that’s not the point right now. All I have to do is take a breath, think, and then I will figure out what to do.
And I am genuinely sorry for annoying you, people. It’s only now that I realize this that this was annoying. I am really sorry.
Davidson and Bates are both excellent schools. What a choice! They are also quite different from each other in many ways, so try to get yourself to the admitted student days to figure out which one you like better. Then start picking courses, pack your bags, and move in to your college journey. You probably know this, but your outlook will greatly influence how that journey goes, so you may need to dig deep to find optimism and positivity, but it will reward you.
A gap year is not a great idea for you because you have no plan or reason for it beyond reapplying to Princeton, almost certainly with the same result.
I understand your disappointment. Maybe when you feel a little better (my recommendation is ice cream, btw!), you can start to process this moment as the one in which you started valuing yourself not by outside markers (i.e., Ivy League student), or the expectations of others (family), but by what you want for yourself, what gives you joy and satisfaction, and with kindness to yourself.
You are still the wonderful person you were before you ever heard of Princeton.
Your family and you can change expectations. Princeton is not the end all or be all of college life.
You and your family have a life lesson from this disappointment with Princeton. You will bounce back after being humbled.
As others said, be kind to yourself.
You have two great choices with Davidson and Bates.
You are not annoying us. Many of us have been humbled by rejection, too.
It sounds like you have been in an unproductive environment when it comes to talking about colleges. I know that can be rough, but I am also confident it will get a lot better for you once you are out of that environment. And fortunately, Davidson and Bates are both fantastic schools for undergrad, and you can revisit research universities if you decide to go on to graduate or professional school.
In contrast, as everyone else is suggesting, it isn’t a prudent strategy to take a gap year for admissions purposes in your sort of circumstances.
However, if you are feeling burnt out on school and want to take a pause, that is another thing entirely. In that case you might consider asking for a deferral from your favorite of Bates and Davidson. They are actually both quite supportive of gap years for that purpose: