Sarah is very precocious and is starting at a new school. She wants to skip first grade. Do you think it would be good for her to start in 2nd grade? What about the social issues?
What month was she born?
The biggest mistake we ever made with our son was skipping him ahead in first grade. Yes he was reading Harry Potter books and newspapers, but in the end that doesn’t matter much as they advance through school. He was always much younger than his classmates. This became more apparent as he entered high school. His peers were shaving, driving and dating while he was way behind both physically and emotionally. Perhaps more of an issue with a boy, but I can imaging similar concerns with girls.
He’s now in college and still young.
I regret that we listened to the teachers and counselors back in first grade who all advised us to push him ahead.
Think long and hard about this one.
I think it’s a little different with boys and girls… since girls mature faster, and the size issue isn’t as big among them as among boys, a year’s difference probably won’t be an issue as Sarah gets older.
I have friends whose precocious daughters skipped a grade, with no negative impact. My own son - who read chapter books in kindergarten - was moved to 1st and 2nd grade for reading and math only. The rest of the time he stayed with his age group, since he liked his peers and since he was actually less mature in other ways than most of them.
Are you really listening to a first grader about her desire to skip a grade? What do you mean by precocious? Is she way ahead of peers in terms of her academic skill set? What does her testing indicate? What has her previous school experience been like. What is the school she is starting now like? Is she a child who prefers adults and is not comfortable with her peers, something she believes skipping may obviate. Given the number of posts you’ve contributed, I would not expect you to be the least bit naive in terms of this issue but you have not provided any information to inform posters.
Depends on the maturity level. We were told my son could possibly skip a grade (it was either first or second). We were told he could definitely handle it academically, but they thought socially and maturity wise it would be a mistake. Ten years later as he his ready to graduate high school, he is a leader in many activities in his grade, in the top 10 academically but most of his friends are already in college. He has more friends older than him than in his grade.
Easier socially for boys than girls. If she’s on the older end for her grade, maybe worth considering. FWIW, I have two smart daughters, both with fall birthdays, so in the older cohort for their grade. One probably could have benefited from moving ahead, the other would not have been well served. Depends a lot of on the kid’s personality.
Clearly not many Rex Morgan, M.D. aficianados here - or at least they’re not willing to admit to it!
Second vote for not moving ahead. I did have my daughter start K at 4.5. I really thought she’d repeat K, but she didn’t. Academically fine, but in all ways she could have been a superstar if she’d been in the class below where she was. She was a big stocky kid in K, but by 2nd grade she was one of the smallest in the class. By the time she was 13 and in high school, she was tiny compared to her classmates, many of whom were 15 and enormous. She had good grades, but everything would have been better if she’d waited a year.
Socially, she often migrated to the group a year younger. Many of her friends graduated the following year, but they had been classmates for math and science, and on the same sports teams. They were all a lot bigger than she was! She was 16 when researching colleges and being asked to commit to a school, team, lifestyle. It was too much responsibility. She was 17 when she started college. Don’t tell yourself that’s not scary when there are much older students on campus.
I have a friend whose son had a Nov. birthday and he stayed with his class, so one of the oldest. He’s really smart. In 2nd grade he went to the fifth grade classroom for math. By high school he was taking his math classes at the college. The school wanted to move him ahead a grade, but my friend said ‘when he can tie his shoes, he can move ahead.’ Socially, emotionally, etc., he wasn’t ready to skip grades. He was quite a large guy, so physically would have fit in with older kids, but not in other ways. He was a regular goofy pre-teen, liked video games and playing cards with the guys. He wasn’t athletically gifted like his sister, so playing with his age peers was better for him than if he were playing a few grades ahead. Now many sports are switching to ‘year of birth’ teams, and it would be hard for an 8th grader who was placed on the 6th grade team.
My Daughter could have skipped 5th grade. Her current best friend skipped 8th, her friend was already ahead in half of the her classes. They are now Juniors and both of them are a year ahead in Math AP Calculus and Science AP Chemistry. They both still have a very little shot at an Ivy League School. It is going to be so competitive for the top schools, you want them to be at the top of their class. Her friend didn’t have time for extra curricular activities that the top schools are looking for because she (her parents) focused on so many AP courses during the year and Summer. If my daughter skipped 5th grade, she would now be two years ahead in the tough AP courses and even thought she is a great student, that would be quite a challenge, as it is she doesn’t get enough sleep. Come High School, students will want to double up on Math and Science and take several AP classes to set themselves apart and be competitive for the top colleges, that is the best time for her to move ahead. Many high school seniors take 5 AP classes, in essence that is a first year of college schedule. So glad she didn’t skip.
It depends. Where is she at socially, emotionally, physically, etc?
I am a January baby and the cutoff for us was Dec 1. My mom begged for me to be put in school when I was 4-almost-5 but the school refused. I was already reading chapter books and about the average height of a 4th grader. I was always treated like I was older (because I was so big and everyone assumed I was older than I was) and I was bored for almost all of K-8. In high school, almost all of my friends were 1-2 years above me.
Kids mature and grow at different rates. I don’t like the one-age-fits-all model that we use.
I skipped a grade in elementary school, and as a result of that combined with just barely making the (later than most states) age cutoff for when I started kindergarten, I was too young to drive when I started my senior year of high school. This was not cool.
Seriously, it’s the little things like that that end up getting to you.
But the OP said the child wants to skip a grade. It’s probably worth asking why. Is it social issues with kids in the current class, or a close friend in second grade? Or maybe a teacher? Does the child have any experience with second-grade classwork and (crucially at that age) classroom behavior expectations? Have the parents been discussing it, and the child is grabbing onto that? Has another child recently skipped and gotten praise for that? And a million other such questions.
I skipped first grade and never regretted it. (September birthday to boot.) Since I graduated from high school at 16, I took a gap year and lived with a French family before starting college. I loved having that extra year to play with. I never ever had issues with not being emotionally on par with the other kids. I took four APs senior year and got into Harvard.
I’m somewhat introverted, but can act like an extrovert. My parents moved every few years so I got used to having to make new friends on a regular basis.
I often wish my oldest would have been allowed to skip. He was very precocious and unhappy in school until he got to high school when they actually let him take the courses he wanted to take. ( By precocious, reading on at least a third grade level, he figured out multiplication in kindergarten - and was eventually allowed to take third grade math in first grade, which was great, but only his first grade teacher was willing to let him do this.)
Noooooo! Been there, done that then undid it. Ours was completely emotionally, socially and academically ready but too many who had skipped their kids advised against it. Now we are at the other end-she is our fourth in high school.You don’t want your kid to be in high school and the youngest in class. They need every minute they can have to grow under your wing. The academic piece you can compensate for. Ours takes AP Calculus BC as a high school sophomore-she’s plenty smart-but it is good to be able to still guide and support her.
I have a November birthday and, unlike most districts, mine had a Feb cutoff. So I started K at 4 years 10 months. I didn’t have problems academically or making friends. The issue was most of my classmates (funny that I have always remembered this through the decades) were spring birthdays. (One other gal was December.) In effect, a 5-8 month jump on me. So in terms of personal growth, thinking, problem resolution, some resilience, I think I was behind. Throw in a couple of unique family moments and it was tough. This question is more complex than it seems on the surface.
More problematic, to me, is kids who are held back, repeat K or 1st. I only realized how age impacted me much later in life, looking back. In contrast, when mine were young, I knew a few young kids who recognized the disparity at the time.
Good luck with this sort of decision.
I faced that decision with my oldest S and he is now a college freshman. Grade school was horrible, but I decided that I was not willing to sacrifice a year of his childhood. For years I wondered if I had made the right decision, but looking back I am glad I made the choice that I did.
So…this question is from the current story line in a newspaper comic? Ok then.
But IRL, we did actually have D test into K a year early, and her birthday is at the tail end of the allowed time for that, so she has always been the youngest in her class. Maturity and academics were never the issue. It was boredom. This year she is graduating after skipping her junior year of HS, so now she is 2 years younger than her classmates. Maturity is STILL not an issue and academics obviously are not. For her, and for us, it was the right choice. It has worked better than testing her into the gifted program. She wasn’t welcome there, but it had nothing to do with her age. She’s at a school that focuses solely on academics, where she has excelled.
D is tall for her age, always has been, but it’s never been a problem that she was younger-most of her friends rely on public transportation and don’t drive.She doesn’t party, doesn’t like to stay up late, isn’t interested in many of the things “typical” senior-aged kids do. Her “tribe” likes the same things she does so she doesn’t suffer socially. She’s a leader at school, at church, in her EC’s outside of school-and most people have no idea she’s so young. but certainly not every kid should skip a grade or two if they’re gifted. It’s a case-by-case thing. Always should be.
My son started K early (I had to petition to get him admitted a year earlier than state guidelines), but he would have been BORED at another year of pre-K. He was already reading at a first-second grade level and was doing basic addition and subtraction. He was always the youngest in his class, but it never mattered at all until his peers started driving and he felt ‘left behind’. But he eventually got through that…dated in high school (in fact went to 4 proms), was the president of a couple academic clubs, graduated 5th in his class, and is now in college on a full academic scholarship. Looking back I still can’t imagine making him wait any longer to start school.
His dad skipped a grade in elementary school - 4th maybe, I don’t recall at the moment. I think socially that would be much more difficult because other kids may feel competitive/jealous. He wound up beginning college when he was still 16, which personally I think most students are not ready to handle the responsibilities of college yet at that age and he did wind up struggling academically. But it all worked out for him in the long run, he graduated, is a professional, has a family.
IMO, if you think your student is advanced enough to skip a grade and is not going to be challenged in their grade level, then the earlier the better to advance and not wait until competitive peers will have more trouble accepting it.
I don’t know who Rex Morgan, M.D.is but just googled it. And I’m fine to admit that I haven’t a clue. So this is a joke post?
How would that affect Sarah’s admission to Harvard? 8-} L-) 
Agree with romani that it depends on the kid.
I personally started college at 17 and didn’t find being around older students scary at all. In fact, a few older college classmates I’ve had still ask for my advice and otherwise view me as the “older brother” to this day because of my personality and ability to provide much academic tutoring in undergrad despite the fact they were older and in college longer than I was.
I also had a few college classmates who were close to finishing or actually finished college by 17 and unless they felt comfortable and close enough to someone to tell them…no one would have noticed them being much younger than the 18-22 traditional college age set. One of them in particular GRADUATED from my LAC at 17 with high honors, entered a topflight PhD program in his subfield at 19 after teaching in Japan for 2 years, and has been on the tenure track of a well-respected North American Uni in the NW region for several years. Probably will be coming up for tenure very shortly. Also, according to his parents he has been living independently since the age of 10 or so…very impressive in my book. At times, he was “my older brother” regarding academics and college experience as he was well ahead of me on both counts.
Also, holding a student back by a year doesn’t necessarily guarantee one will be at the top of the academic heap in the younger class. Have a relative who is a few weeks older than me, but despite being placed one grade behind me in elementary school due to California’s public education policies, he ended up having to take a gap year at the end of HS due to various issues. Consequently, while he’s older than me, he ended up being two years behind me academically which meant some extended family members regarded him as “having less seniority” within the extended family as a result.