I just saw a post online of someone saying that every time they eat out, they clear their dishes and stack them at the end of the table to be cleared. My parents never raised me to do this. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen someone do this.
Do you all do this when you eat out? Is it bad etiquette if you don’t? If you do?
My H was a waiter and he says not to do this because most waitstaff have a method. He does encourage us to put all of the food waste on one plate so they have only one plate to empty in the trash.
It is not considered polite to stack the dishes at the table, even in your own home. Of course, if you’re entertaining close friends, that’s a different story, but I was taught that you just clear the table two plates at a time.
Hmmm, the only time we’ve done that is when the staff is no where in sight for what feels like ages, we are finishing our wine and don’t want to keep sitting there over the remnants of our meal…then they get stacked and put on the edge of the table. I don’t care if it’s polite or not. It is an art if you are wait staff to know when you’re grabbing a plate from someone who might not be quite finished and when it’s just been too long. But everytime…no…most of the time the wait staff does just fine removing the plates in a timely manner and we do not stack out stuff on the table edge.
Definitely don’t do it! Ask any waitperson. It is bad etiquette. As already mentioned, the staff have their own way of doing it. Additionally, it could make them look bad if a manager walks by as it makes it seem they’ve been inattentive to the table and the table is impatient. You are not doing them favors by stacking the plates.
Plate stacking? Only at Blue C Sushi.
At very high end restaurants, waiters never stack plates when they take them from the table. It is considered rude to the guests.
Never ever stack. Waiters have a process for clearing.
I used to do this when my children were little and they had made a mess of the table. I couldn’t stand looking at it so I would collect the plates, take a napkin and clear the debris onto the top plate and then stack the plates near the front of the table beyond their reach. Of course this was in very casual restaurants and it was done for my own benefit. I have never done it otherwise and wouldn’t think to do so in a fine dining establishment. It would most likely be interpreted as some sort of deficiency on behalf of the wait staff.
It would be like pouring your own wine at a restaurant, it would mean they are not doing their job.
Wow, I guess I am tacky. I always do, especially when I am still enjoying a cocktail or desert.
Don’t stack. It makes the table look bad, and hinders, rather than aids, the clearing process.
If you’re looking for a way to signal that you are finished, use the 4:20 method. Pretend that your plate is a clock face, and your knife and fork are the hands. Place your knife and fork parallel to each other and angle them to look like 4:20 on the clock. That is a wordless way to tell the server that you are ready to have the plate cleared away.
This explains:
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/food-recipes/advice/a26612/end-of-meal-silverware-etiquette/
Sure most people do know that, and we’ve all been somewhere that is understaffed and the staff is no where to be found for minutes on end. It’s not the end of the world if staff is absent and slow and you want to enjoy the rest of your wine without your plates, napkins and remnants in front of you. We’ve never dinged anyone on tips and simply enjoyed the rest of our time at the restaurant. If servers get offended by a couple that pushes their plates aside, they need to take that up with their management if they have too many tables to manage and they have to buss in addition to everything else. The “nicer” restaurants usually have bussers assigned to take care of this freeing up the waitstaff to do their duties and you rarely encounter a need to “push your plates aside.”
As others have said, we don’t generally stack. The only exception would be if we’re at a small table eating family style, and there’s not enough room on the table for everything. Then we’ll stack a dish or two to make room as we go. I think the difference there is that we’re doing it for our own convenience, not the waiters. Same would apply to pushing your plate to side if you’re done and want to enjoy your wine or coffee - you do what’s convenient for you (within the usual bounds of etiquette) since you’re the guest paying to enjoy the experience.
Since we are talking about clearing the dishes at a restaraunt, what are your thoughts about plates being cleared while others are still eating? I remember long ago when I worked as a server we would never clear the dinner dishes until everyone was finished. Now, I am barely finished my last bite and my dh who eats slower than I do is still eating and someone comes by and removes my plate. Other times I might be saving half of my meal for later or not finishing it and they come and box up my remaining meal while the others are still eating. When out with our children (teens) I might get a dinner size salad or smaller portion meal but then eat some of their fries. It really bothers me when my plate is taken and it makes my husband feel badly when he is the only one with a plate and is still eating when the rest of us have finished. I get it when the place is busy and they need the dishes but this is not usually the case.
Am I the only one bothered by this practice?
I don’t like it. It hints that the restaurant is trying to hurry you out the door. Let people eat their food at their pace, and don’t snatch plates away from fast eaters, I say.
“…what are your thoughts about plates being cleared while others are still eating?”
Pet peeve and this keeps us from returning some places.
Very bad manners. The problem is that many servers have been taught to do this, even at relatively upscale restaurants. Once during lunch with friends, the server began to pick up a plate of someone at our table not only still eating but in the middle of speaking. She just grabbed the sides of her plate, held it down very forcefully, and kept right on talking to the table, and totally ignored him.
Friends and I are excellent tippers. We will not linger if a place is busy. Our regular lunch places don’t interrupt us or clear until everyone is done.
I agree that it is in bad form in general however with the move towards different dining styles, the small plates concept especially, all those rules go out the table as dishes are brought to the table when ready and removed when done (seems to be the style at places I often frequent these days).
No to stacking in most cases. I don’t stack at home. Of course, I still use place cards for dinner parties, so I’m pretty seriously old fashioned.
No to stacking plates. I will push mine a few inches away if it’s starting to bother me but that’s different from stacking.
Don’t like when waiters take plates away when some at the table are still eating. Seems rude to me and I have a friend who will say to the waiter, “No, I’ll keep my plate until everyone’s done, thank you” when a waiter tries to take her plate prematurely.
What really bothers me, which is a bit of a tangent, is when a waiter arrives at the table talking which completely interrupts whoever at the table is talking. It’s awkward and rude. I like when the person approaches the table and pauses for a moment so that the person talking can stop and recognize the waitperson. Perhaps not everyone would stop talking but the waiter, then, can just wait for the person to pause or take a breath and then begin to speak.