Showing off your kids in your own home: do you?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I’m curious as to whether I’m typical in this regard, or outside the norm. As most of you know, I have one child, a 15-year-old S who doesn’t like sports, and does like reading. His achievements, such as they are, are academic/scholastic ones. </p>

<p>In the living room, I have a 4 x 6 picture of him on the piano, a small color copy of a photograph of him in a frame he made on a bookcase, and a large-ish oil portrait of him at 12 on the wall. Also on the piano in an 8x11 frame is a printed poem with his handprints underneath it, this from a preschool he attended.</p>

<p>Upstairs at the end of the hall (which only people going to one of the bedrooms would see; this isn’t a public area of the house), I have put a number of frame holding a bunch of S’s certificates and awards. Three are on the wall, and the rest are on a small narrow shelf, some piled in front of the others because there isn’t much room. Most frames contain multiple awards/certificates, but of course only the top one shows. These are things like state awards, National Latin Exam certificate, the Presidential Fitness Award the kid got in 8th grade, a medal he got that is mounted in a shadow box, that sort of stuff. (Having all these in frames on that wall worked well when it came time for him to fill out a college application – I didn’t have to look for any of these! :smiley: ) There is also a street sign on that wall that says “[Kid’s name] Street,” this a present to the kid from my best friend; he got this during the “car phase” of life.</p>

<p>In my bedroom, I have a number of framed pictures of the kid above my dresser; no picture is larger than 4x6 and some of the pictures are in a collage-type frame.</p>

<p>I think this is perfectly normal, of course; I think my soon-to-be-exH does not, based on an email i got from him a few days ago. </p>

<p>But maybe I’m not normal, so… tell me about your own houses, please! Do you have pictures of your kid(s) displayed? Do they have a trophy case for their trophies? Do you have any of their frame-able awards on the wall? Tell, tell! Thanks!!</p>

2

<p>I WISH my parents were like you. There are absolutely no pictures of me anywhere in the house, except for on my own wall in my bedroom. All of my trophies are in boxes or in the basement. It makes me sad :(. </p>

<p>You are perfectly normal. You are proud of your son, as you should be!</p>

3

<p>Wow–your house sounds like it’s a shrine dedicated to your son. Your house, your prerogative.</p>

<p>We took down the watercolor painting over the fireplace at their request. It was embarrassing to them (when they hit middle school age) and they didn’t want it up. Took the baby stuff down when they were in elementary school. We have a couple of pictures of them in various locations in the house but we do not have their high school awards plastered on the walls. Now that they’re in college, the athletic trophies are tucked away in a box in the cellar. I bought a plastic bin for each of them and threw their “special childhood memories” in there and put them in the cellar. Examples of what’s in the bins—favorite teddy bear, All-Star Little League Jersey, first Yankee tshirt (infant size-LOL), soccer-baskeball–baseball trophies and awards from town youth leagues, favorite kid book, a report card or two, etc. </p>

<p>When they won trophies for their sports and certificates and such for their academics we displayed them on the mantle for a little while and then gave them back to the kids to put in their rooms. When their pictures were in the newspaper or their names were in the weekly local sports column, we cut them out and put them in manila envelopes for them to keep. </p>

<p>IMO, I thinks it’s fine to display a couple of current achievements but we didn’t want our kids to think that this is what we valued most from them. There is no denying that we are proud of their accomplishments but we are most proud of the men that they are becoming. </p>

<p>It’s your house and you can do what you want. It sounds like you may have gone a little overboard but that’s my own personal opinion. How does your son feel about this?</p>

4

<p>I know that the decorating gurus will tell you not to have too many framed photos of your family in the public areas of your home. I totally disagree with that approach.</p>

<p>I have many, many more photos of my children than you in all areas of my home and also have framed/displayed some of their artwork in various places. I love photography and I love my children. I made a career out of raising them, giving up outside employment to do so, never with a single regret. When I look upon a photo of my child, or upon something they have created, I have a physical feeling of well being (which I believe is the same release of serotonin that I get when I eat chocolate :slight_smile: ).</p>

<p>If you love the photos and momentos and they make you feel good, please enjoy them. Raising a whole other human being is a BIG DEAL and we need to enjoy and take pleasure in the process.</p>

5

<p>My D has all her awards (major ones that got frames) up in her room. She has her name spelled out in wooden ice cream spoons she made when she was 4 above the window. I have the pottery ?things? (one is a fair wolf, other is ??, one is maybe a whale) on the bookcase in the LR. I have the masks they made and painted (think African war masks) hanging in the stairwell attached to the FR. I have pictures of many of my family 4x6’s on my dresser, but one black and white shot of kids at 4 & 2 that a friend took and gifted me with. I have our “family” portrait 10x12 in a frame in the bedroom. this is the one that we took at JCPenneys every Christmas for years until we got a “real” professional one done. I wish I had kept up the Christmas ones instead of letting H take a self timer shot of us all. I <em>could</em> blow it up have it printed, but it isn’t the same. DS and DD have every stupid medal/trophy they got for showing up at soccer or years in their rooms. DS has his “life sized” trace of his body that they drew in kindergarten and he colored on his door (The head is no longer attached to the neck) It is facing the hall, not his room (discloser DD is college freshman, DS is rising HS senior). The refrigerator has DD’s kindergarten graduation picture on it, DS trip to somewhere when he had evil more than braces (herbst device). I’m looking for more stuff… </p>

<p>We have their pottery self portrait heads in red clay on the mantle. We have a stained glass window image that DD made Jr. year in photoshop (visual art) class. We have their “mission” tiles near the masks on the wall. DD has 7 different representations of her name spelled out in her room, from the spoons, to the cross stitch friend made as a birth gift. So I don’t have as many pictures of kids, but I sure do have a lot of STUFF out. And I really enjoy it. I like dusting that weird head when the real head was gone away to school. I like seeing the boy/man room that is still guarded by the happiest boy in kindergarten. </p>

<p>You sound perfectly normal to ME and I am a LOT smarter than someone who would be your soon to be XH.</p>

6

<p>I have all the medallions I wore at graduation last June hanging from one of my ceiling fan blades. I also have my diploma on my desk (not that you can see it at the moment…;)).</p>

<p>In our living room is a current picture of my sister, myself, and my brother and sister-in-law and my nephew.</p>

<p>We don’t really have any awards out…but I still have LOTS of my high school stuff in my room. Including several plaques on the wall. It’s nice to come home to because it’s so familiar.</p>

<p>I just wish I had an occasion I could wear my beautiful (expensive) letterman’s jacket to!</p>

7

<p>No certificates in frames (unless it’s a college diploma). Pictures of kids on the piano and some on a bookcase. What you keep in a non-public room is your own business. I have a photo of Billie Jean King playing Chris Evert in a US Open match in one of those non-public rooms…I wonder what that makes me???</p>

8

<p>^^^ It makes you a tennis fan, LMNOP :)</p>

<p>Hi owlice and eso :wink: I have a gazillion photos of the family, the kids individually, family events, etc all over the place (bedroom, guestroom, hall, on the piano in the living room, etc). The sports trophies are still in their rooms b/c I am too lazy to put them away (but if my house remodel is ever done I will probably do so). I dont have any awards/certificates framed, but do have 2 newspaper articles about my older s framed on his wall. I also have photos of older s with Hank Aaron and younger s with Andrew Young framed. They were in the kitchen, but if/when the remodel is ever finished I may not put them back there.</p>

<p>And if you think your tennis photo is questionable, LMNOP, my H has, on his bookcase, a photo of the neighbor’s late dog wearing a yarlmuke on his office credenza :eek:. The neighbors gave it to us (their dog and our late dog were related, and we helped them “adopt/rescue” their dog). They also gave me a bunch of really nice, framed photos of our late dog for my birthday a few years ago, and the photos, along with a plaster cast footprint of the dog and his tag from his collar, are in our family room. Wow, it sounds like a weird shrine. I need to rethink that…</p>

9

<p>Owlice, what did the e-mail from your exH say? I’m curious.</p>

10

<p>Kids’ trophies/medals/plaques are in their rooms. Certificates/newspaper articles/report cards/congratulatory letters are in plastic slipsheets in binders. Kids both have tons of photos of themselves and friends in their own rooms; we have a few, mainly in our den. We have others that need to be hung on the walls - taken down when we painted and never rehung - 4 years ago! Same with art projects - some in the den, and some in the bedrooms, but some that have never seen the light of day since we painted 4 years ago. And guess what -we’re probably repainting this summer, so they aren’t coming out anytime soon.</p>

<p>Hi Owlice, Jym & Eso. Hi VeryHappy. :)</p>

11

<p>Although I am very proud of my kids’ accomplishments, I don’t like the idea of displaying awards publicly. I would find it embarrassing, and I suspect that my kids would as well.</p>

12

<p>I don’t consider it showing off. I celebrate my family in my home, from baby pictures to trophies and awards. I consider my entire house private space, just that some parts of it welcome friends and family. It may not be designer approved but it makes me happy to be reminded of good times or achievements.</p>

13

<p>Owlice, perhaps it’s a question of proportion? Do you have other children? Are there an equal (more or less) number of photos of other family members? And - most importantly - how many pictures of your soon-to-be ex H did you have in the same rooms that you had these pictures of your son?</p>

14

<p>We have lots of small photos of the kids and other family members in many rooms of the house. We’ve never framed any awards, but we do have some of their artwork up on the walls of the more casual spaces. Both kids have tacked award certificates to corkboards in their rooms (they usually get some time on the fridge first), but they come down pretty quickly to make room for important stuff, like Zits comics. ;)</p>

15

<p>We have 2 kids. </p>

<p>Each one’s latest report card and most recent paper cert/award goes on the fridge. The report cards are replaced quarterly and the paper awards are “refreshed” whenever a new one arrives. When an “old” paper award moves off the fridge, it goes up to the kids’ bedrooms to join the trophies and medals. </p>

<p>For photos, we have 3x5 yearbook shots in frames in the family room, a few posed milestone pics on the bookshelves (baptism, reunions, etc.) and fun/goofy snapshots on the fridge. Gobs of “through the years” real portraits (not Sears) line the hallway leading to bedrooms upstairs.</p>

<p>I’ve got a spot reserved for HS graduation portraits ('10 & '12) in the family room, when that day comes.</p>

16

<p>In the kiddos’ rooms they have pics of themselves with their siblings.</p>

<p>I have 3 black and white pics of them on the mantle of them as young children doing something silly to make SURE it embarasses them!</p>

<p>And for Christmas one year they all bought me a digital picture frame with pictures they loaded that also sits on the mantle (4x6 pictures). They change it for me occasionally.</p>

<p>That’s it. All their awards/trophies/medals/newspaper/dvds for tv spots (all varsity athletes/state champs/capts/MVPs/NCAA D1 all american/vals…blah blah) are in their respective clear buckets easily identified in the attic. </p>

<p>Behind the Christmas wrap and electric witch for halloween.</p>

<p>With 5 of them, all competitive with each other, it kept and still does keep sanity reigning at my house. Well, sort of.</p>

<p>No, we decorate with other ridiculous items, old hats, quilts…</p>

<p>They are all home now for the 4th, big holiday at our house, I’m up early cooking…so they can take more random photos I can keep in my boxes to sift through when they leave again!</p>

<p>Kat
ps i’m missing son’s diploma that was val, put it somewhere “safe”…yeah he’ll be thrilled, sure i’ll find it in the next decade!</p>

17

<p>We have the usual array of family photos in the living room, but all of the awards/certificates,trophies are in the kid’s rooms. My fridge is covered in snapshots (D’s prom, S at cotillion, etc) and sports “magnet” pictures. I have a magnet from each of our 9 years of swim team (which ended 2 years ago) which I guess I should remove one of these days. S doesn’t care, but D keeps covering up one in particular.</p>

<p>I don’t display the report cards, although I have seen others put them up on the fridge. I feel the grades are private.</p>

18

<p>We have family pics all over the house. I don’t think that’s odd. They include the kids but aren’t of the kids only. </p>

<p>The boys have won many awards, but the only one that is framed is ds1’s Eagle award. We had it framed for his Eagle ceremony. Right now it’s in the living room just because ds doesn’t have an empty patch of wall to hang it on, but I’m determined to get it in there.</p>

<p>They have shelves in their rooms that hold all the sports trophies and various academic medals. In our office, which is tucked away and almost no one but immediate family sees, are our diplomas and professional awards.</p>

<p>My mom had a wall in my room where she framed and hung all my awards. It’s still there today. I always get a kick out of seeing it (why did she hang up my hs Outstanding Senior Journalist award but not my junior college disco dance contest award???), but I can’t help but wonder whether my shrine contributed to my sister’s feelings of jealousy toward me. Neither she nor my brother had one, though, admittedly, neither of them was the least bit academic. Still, a wall of awards is a strong visual to compile for one child and not the others.</p>

19

<p>Both H and I come from very large families, and we have alot of photos of everyone on the piano and various places in the house, as well as group shots over the years in a hallway. There are a couple of individula ones of our kids in among them.</p>

<p>My d was an internationally ranked Irish stepdancer from a young age, and has literally hundreds of trophies, medals and various crystal awards accumulated. She has a bunch of the most “important” ones in her room. The rest have been donated for reuse. There are one or two pictures of her at the World Championships in the house among others.</p>

<p>My s also has sports trophies and more academic awards in his room. He is proud of his sister’s accomplishments, but even so I wouldn’t consider displaying hers, which happen to far exceed his in number. My d says that his dealing with a chronic illness deserved many more trophies than she received!</p>

20

<p>I have only one picture of S1 (his senior picture) in frame that I put out in the living room. As soon as he comes home he hides it. I find it and put it back. He hides it. I put it back. We never say anything, the picture just comes and goes.</p>

<p>S2 says he won’t bother to hide his, he will just put it down the garbage disposal.</p>