<p>I don’t feel bad for you, my Jeanne d’arc, but is it normal to resent someone’s maternal affection for her son? I think not.</p>
<p>The rest is taste and desire.</p>
<p>As an asthmatic, I hate dust, clutter. It makes me sick. I have no trophies, awards or anything displaced. Kids are fine with that. Mia has her dance trophies in her room. Their school stuff is in a bureau drawer, I think. It was. I may have moved it. I did save it all.</p>
<p>As for pictures, since H is a photographer, we keep the photos to a minimum or he would be insufferable.</p>
<p>I have in the living room one picture of each of them: D as a little girl sitting in tulips bigger than she is, looking like Alice-in-Wonderland, and s at 10 peaking out from behind his violin.</p>
<p>In the dining room I have two tiny pictures of each of them as babies.</p>
<p>I do, however, have 20 photo albums courtesy of my husband, and I did put all the pictures in them myself, and I do look at them on occasion.</p>
<p>Oh, and a kitchen magnet picture of each of them in a school uniform, K and 2nd grade on fridge.</p>
<p>But there is evidence of them everywhere: the musical instruments out – violin, flute, the piano, the books each reads, a beautiful poster actually painted by Tolkien for an exhibition, their gifts to us, the couches they wanted because there were “comfy”, crumbs in the family room, always, the complete sets of Mozart and Bach CD’s I bought for S, the complete West Wing he wanted, the complete Sex and the City she wanted. And so it goes.</p>
<p>It would not be the same house without them.</p>
<p>I did redecorate a bit after we were empty nesters. Out with the country; in with art nouveau, a bit sleeker as pocketbook would allow. Nothing major. </p>
<p>But Mr. You Know Who has a lot of gall. He really does. And more than that, he’s inane.</p>