<p>Hugs to you, fauxmaven. I don’t know how to tell you how to compartmentalize because I’m not very good at it. But try to take care of yourself.</p>
<p>Can you turn a negative into a postive? Did you need to lose weight? Perhaps you could channel this weight loss and the stress into a fitness kick. If you have to obsess about something maybe you could use the energy to get into the best shape of your life. Oh, and healthier eating, too?</p>
<p>I have a friend who did this in a stressful time and it has stuck with her for the past 10 years. She now teases her son, thanking him for helping her get into shape, but reminding him not to ever help her again.</p>
<p>I exercise regularly and I already eat almost all healthy foods. I do have a sleeping pill which I take every third night I was on an anti-d and had finally weaned myself off before this happened. My kids call more, and my H makes more attempts than usual to fing things to do that I enjoy. Yesterday we went and saw American Ballet Theater together, something I usually do with my ex-ballet dancer son. That son is on vacation in Sweden of all places. He has decided to visit the farm of my daughter’s last 3 summers. My daughter is leaving for Sweden in June to spend the summer.</p>
<p>I’m sorry fauxmaven for how you’re feeling. I know this may seem like a superficial analogy, but when I dropped D off at Kindergarten years ago and she burst into tears, not knowing anyone, I felt terrible all day. The teacher told me 5 minutes later, she was at the Lego table, having a blast.</p>
<p>Or maybe you’re mourning - grieving in a way – because prison (no matter how nice) is a change from your expectations for your son. Maybe you can start to see it as a bridge or pathway to his future, better life.</p>
<p>Hang in there.</p>
<p>I recently had an experience which I speak about with my therapist as “the big awful”. It happened to someone near and dear, and thoughts about him, his experience and his well being took up all my waking hours. He recovered, but me on the other hand…
Two weeks ago I decided to make the next seven days as “the week of ME”. That I was only to consider my well being since so much about “the big awful” was completely out of my control. I needed and got a long over due mental and emotional rest. That selfish week made all the difference in the world. Cut yourself some well deserved slack. Remember what brings YOU joy and pleasure. And do not give your son or anyone else a second thought.
They will all survive.</p>
<p>Faux, I am so glad your son is managing. Try to get outside and exercise, even if only walking, as much as possible. Try to go easy on caffeine. Talk to your doctor if a nutritional drink (usually marketed for the elderly) makes sense to add to your diet.</p>
<p>I understand your situation. It is a relief that your son is adjusting to his situation. Now you need to adjust, and that is incredibly difficult. Please take care of yourself…a walk, things you enjoy, a volunteer position (to give you something else you have to think about). Add those diet drinks as beverages, not replacement meals.</p>
<p>((hugs))</p>
<p>^^^^second kayf’s suggestion of a supplement to your diet such as ensure or boost. Clearly you need more nutrition if you’ve suddenly lost 11 pounds (unless you needed to lose weight, which you didn’t mention).</p>
<p>It’s amazing how much stress can wear a body down. fauxmaven, you want to be healthy and vibrant when your son is released so you can celebrate his new beginning…</p>
<p>I normally eat a healthy diet, but during the “week of me” I allowed myself a healthy dose of “guilty pleasures” ie a bag of Pecan Sandies and BBC’s “Sherlock”.
What’s YOUR pleasure?</p>
<p>Hugs to you, faux. I have no advice as I am also a worrier. Just know that we are here supporting you.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, from what I have read (and experienced) about stress and weight, acute stress can cause weight loss but sustained chronic stress can cause weight gain. Right now, you are acutely stressed and have no interest in food. As tome goes by, you may find that you are still stressed but it becomes a background noise in your life. You may regain your appetite and even gain weight.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for what you are going through. I’m sorry but I have forgotten how long your son will be in prison. I hope you are feeling a bit better every day.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, It’s so good to hear from you! I’m glad to get an update that your son is managing his prison time as best as he can in his circumstances. As a parent, we worry so much about our kids. You can’t control what he’s going through, but you can worry. So hard, and yet this time will pass before you know it.</p>
<p>We’re thinking of you and wish the very best will come out of this!</p>
<p>He will manage. He is managing already. Now, it’s time for you to manage too. Your worry won’t change anything at all, so it’s time to stop worrying and start taking care of yourself.</p>
<p>Sorry, fauxmaven. You didn’t need that. Take good care of yourself over the next few weeks. Eat well, rest well, get some exercise and hopefully a little more peace of mind will follow.</p>
<p>Faux - I think that sometimes when we have been really, really worried about something it takes time for our brain and our bodies to readjust when we find out everything is going to be okay. Waiting for the other shoe to drop or something like that. </p>
<p>I really believe you need to rewire your brain so that you can really take in the fact that the prison isn’t nearly as bad as you thought it would be.</p>
<p>I did worry a little when you said he had a fan - I didn’t realize at first that you meant the air moving kind - and I was thinking that prison wouldn’t be where you want to have fans. LOL!!!</p>
<p>Hang in there. This is a really difficult thing. I think it must be a sort of grieving that you are going through, as one poster mentioned. If you can do something, anything, that can take you outside of your own head for even a few minutes each day, do it, it will be healthy for you. Do something, anything, that will bring a smile to your face. Look at a picture of someone, something that brings you joy, play with a puppy, watch something funny even. Do what you can to find that bright spot each day, even if it is just for a moment. There are breathing exercises for stress that take only a minute to do that may seem silly, but some find it helpful to do those. Hoping you can find your way to a better place soon.</p>
<p>fauxmaven, when I run long distances, I always feel OK at the start, but about 2 miles into the run my energy disappears, and I really have to push myself to get to the mile marker 3. As soon as I pass the marker, it gets significantly better! You are currently approaching mile 2 or your “marathon” - it is possible that your initial emotional roller coaster of the trial, sentence, etc. got replaced by feelings of emptiness and uncertainty. Hang in there, you will finish this marathon strong if you take care of yourself! And come here often - we are here to listen and offer emotional support. Hugs!</p>
<p>Faux- take care of yourself. You are in the grieving process and will be for some time, but it sounds like your son is safe and managing fairly well. I’m so sorry.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, I have not followed your posts as I don’t read cc that often anymore. I just wanted to offer my support (HUGS). I love mstee’s advice! </p>
<p>Filling your days by involving yourself in things that you love to do as much as possible might help, even if you try some new things that you think might be of high interest and/or fun.</p>
<p>Faux, I hope you can start to feel at peace soon. Can you write your son letters? I don’t see much harm in letting him know how this has hurt you, while he has some time to reflect. You seem to think he won’t change his ways, but perhaps he will. I hope your other kids are helping you through this difficult time. Hugs to you all.</p>