<p>What are the trade-offs? My S doesn’t tend to have any difficulty making friends in new settings, so if he wants (and can scrape up the cash) to request a single, is there any good reason not to? Benefits would seem to include less sleep interruption, more privacy, easier to study with fewer distractions. The only disadvantages I can think of are cost (about $1K/year more) and loss of the “default” friend. thoughts?</p>
<p>Kind of depends on who you get for a roommate!!!</p>
<p>DS had a double as a freshman with a real zero for his roommate. We visited him one time and the room stank. His roommate had an overflowing trashcan of all kinds of rotting food. He was just lying there in bed. He did extend his hand from underneath the covers to shake hands. Guess it was too much to get out of bed to say hello.</p>
<p>DD is currently a freshman and in a triple. Two great roommates. They have really made college a memorable experience so far.</p>
<p>So, if you can choose your roommates, put some effort into it and do so.</p>
<p>I would think it could be very lonely at times in a single.</p>
<p>There is no such thing as “default friend.” Roommates are not always friends, and sometimes barely associate at all. If it’s worth trading off the benefits you mentioned in having a single if the only guarantee is a warm body in the room, then get a double or triple. Otherwise, I would consider getting a single if it’s available. It’s not lonely at all. It just means you can have friends over whenever you want without disturbing your roommate, and that you can kick people out when you want to sleep. Living in a double with a “warm body” who had no interest in associating with me was one of the loneliest experiences of my life, and then I couldn’t have my own friends over because the room was constantly packed with my roommate’s snotty friends. Not everyone has that experience, but before you have your S pick a double JUST for the social benefits, I would consider that possibility. A single means control over your own environment, which is just as good for socializing as having a roommate if not better. There are pros and cons to both sides, but my point is that you should not assume that double means better social opportunities and single means worse, it can be quite the opposite.</p>
<p>D1 had a single freshman year. It was the best decision. The room was small, but it gave her some privacy. She said the hardest adjustment for her freshman year was there was little “me time.” When she lived at home, she could go to her room to chill out sometimes, but living at school she shared a bathroom, had meals with people, partied with people…it was nice she had a room to go back to be by herself. D1 is a very social person, but she appreciated that little bit of privacy. She didn’t have any problem in making friends, she kept her door open when she wanted to socialize. Having her own room, it also meants she didn’t have to go to a library to study (when it’s snowy and freezing she really appreciated it.)</p>
<p>After freshman year, she always had a roommate, but she got to choose who she wanted to room with.</p>
<p>D1 has a single freshman year and loves it, she is a little ADD and it kept her from going to the library or study rooms all the time to have some peace and quiet. D2 had a roommate but she left in January, she found the new “single” to be wonderful, she could still see friends or have them in (more room now) but didn’t have to worry about disturbing her with different sleep cycles etc. I never think a single is a bad thing.</p>
<p>It depends. Friends D ended up in a single her freshman year (roommate didn’t show up) and was very lonely during the first weeks of school. This was at a large state school.</p>
<p>OTOH many years ago, my sister was assigned to a triple with 2 girls she had never met and the three of them are still close friends all these years later.</p>
<p>All my kiddos had singles. Some started their freshman year in doubles (did not heed their elder siblings advice to go with a single from the start) and later switched to a single. In middle daughter’s case took her 3 days to realize it was a mistake and quickly switched to a single.</p>
<p>For all the reasons stated above and most of my kiddos were D1 athletes so their sleep schedules were very different than those not needing to be at practice by 6am.</p>
<p>Since their “free time” was extremely limited they wanted their down time to be in an environment that they themselves controlled. Study when they needed to study, sleep when they need to sleep…single room was by far the best choice for them. Worth every extra $$ amount. Made it easier for them to keep their scholie’s by keeping their gpa up, spend a little more $ to keep recieving more $$$.</p>
<p>And their social life did not suffer at all!</p>
<p>Again, a single.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>Another view, on the value of doubles and triples.</p>
<p>Two of my kids have had singles. One had a single as a freshman, and it worked out ok since his floor had a lot of singles and everyone kept their door open. On the other hand, after he transferred to another school and lived in a double, he discovered that sharing a room was much better socially. </p>
<p>Another kid lived in a double as a freshman. He and his roommate were cordial, but not best friends. Still, people came in and out all the time and he ended up making a lot more friends than he expected. He then lived in a single his 2nd and 3rd years (RA as a sophomore), before moving off campus. He said everyone on his floor kept their doors closed, and being in a single was very isolating. (On the other hand, it was convenient for his dating life…let’s be honest here.)</p>
<p>Third kid lived in a double as a freshman, at siblings’ recommendation. Third kid’s first roommate was somewhat unfriendly from Day One, and ended up moving in with a high school friend shortly after the semester started. Third kid got a new random roommate assigned by the school. Again, they didn’t have much in common but have turned out to be pretty good friends anyway and will go to meals, watch tv and hang out together. </p>
<p>All three of my kids recommend a double or triple (depending on the size of the room) as a freshman. They say they wouldn’t have wanted to miss the whole dorm-roommate experience, and that it did help socially especially for freshmen. It’s sometimes not as easy to make friends in college as you think, since sometimes everyone is doing their own thing. </p>
<p>IMO, most students now have their own personal space at home, and they’re anxious about sharing a room with someone else for an extended time. This anxiety translates into arguments for a single. Learning to compromise and solving problems can be viewed as an opportunity for personal growth though. And when it works out - it’s can be one of the best parts of college. The money could be used for pizza, Chinese takeout, concerts and movies…or put towards a semester abroad or other valuable opportunity.</p>
<p>My s is an only child, so he was accustomed to having his own space. I thought that having a roommate would be the most difficult part of freshman year and it was. Halloween weekend was the low point; he was sexiled. I should have realized when he called me at 10 am Sunday that something was wrong! That weekend and the next few days were a time of major growth for him. He learned how to speak up for himself and negotiate. Now that the year is nearly over, he still does a happy dance when his roommate is gone for the day, but they can co-exist. He just chose his living assignment for next year and his first choice (which he didn’t get) was to room with six (6) of his closest friends. Maybe a single wasn’t an option but I don’t think he would have chosen it if one had been available.
I think he probably would have been happier in a single but I think for him, having a roommate was a very valuable part of his education.</p>
<p>My son is a freshman in a double. His first roommate tranferred out of the school after his first semester. This meant that pressure was on my son to fill that empty bed or housing would fill it for him! All of the roommate matching questions do not apply when there is suddenly an empty bed. At the school my son attends housing may fill that slot with anyone and my son would not have any say in who was moving into the room. Fortunately, my son did find a roommate immediately (someone who was not happy with his living situation). This has worked out very well, and they will be roommates again next year. BTW, my son got along very well with his first roommate as well, although they were never friends.</p>
<p>I have never heard the word “sexiled” before. I guess I am getting ready to learn a whole new vocabulary now that my DS is heading off to college. He is an only but not requesting a single (yet). He’s nervous about it but I think it is something he should experience.</p>
<p>The problem with many triples is that they were built as doubles, so an already small space is crammed with extra furniture and possessions.</p>
<p>Both my kids only had singles, and it seemed to work well for them. Most students leave their doors open, so there was plenty of socialization. But when they wanted quiet or alone time, all they had to do was shut the door.</p>
<p>OTOH my son is in a triple at BU and his room is large enough for all the furniture that the university provides for three students, plus they could add an 8x10 rug with two wing chairs and an ottoman if they so desired. </p>
<p>I will note that he is a freshman rooming with 2 sophs and they are not besties but all get along. He will be the soph in the room next year and there are two open beds at the moment.</p>
<p>My younger son did his overnight visit at one college with a kid in a triple (by choice). He said if he went there he’d volunteer for a triple too. He liked the idea of having more people hanging around that could be potential friends. He ended up at a different school and has a double. He’s friendly with his roommate, but not close friends. I think for most freshmen having a roommate is more conducive to meeting more people, but obviously there is also a greater chance for negative experiences.</p>
<p>I believe a double is best for a freshman, and a single is best for older years.</p>
<p>One study said that some problems with freshman become hidden if they don’t have a roommate. It is too easy for them to become isolated without anyone noticing that there is a problem.</p>
<p>Also, the process of learning to share and compromise with another person is a learning experience.</p>
<p>Doubles work best when there is access to a lounge. That allows a place to crash if you are “sexiled” and also allows one roommate to work late while another gets a good night’s sleep. </p>
<p>A number of colleges are forcing the use of double rooms as triples. I’d avoid that at all costs. If it is one room on a hall, it may not be so bad. However, one university is having all rooms on a floor used as triples, which would also create crowding in the bathrooms. A study said the main measurable effect of a triple is that students go home more often on weekends. </p>
<p>A perfect world is to have a double room with an athlete who is away much of the time. That gives you a single during parts of the week and a double during other parts.</p>
<p>My kids all chose doubles as this rising college freshman has decided as well. But S1 got a real problem for a roommate that did color his college experience that year. My current college kid had a wonderful roommate his freshman year but they each took singles in the same dorm for the next year, and now they have an apartment with each having own BR with two other students. They will be renting a house together next year. As much as they liked each other , they preferred their own space in terms of a br. Despite this info, my current high school senior wants to take his chances with a double.</p>
<p>My DD got a single - definitely did NOT request it; she would have loved to be in a huge suite. She was sick a lot fall semester so I guess in that sense it was good that she had her own room. However, I think being on a floor with all doubles would have been better for her. I do not think she had the social experience she (or I expected) this year. Even if she had a roommate she did not hit it off with, there would have been a lot more students on the floor.</p>
<p>Sounds like no consensus to me :)</p>
<p>That is funny. I think the most important factor is being housed in a freshman-only dorm environment. It’s the year when students go out of their way to make friends.
On some campuses, single rooms are found in dorms populated by mostly older students, which makes the experience even less social.</p>