single, double, triple?

Parents Forum
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<p>S will be attending Cornell where they house all 3500 freshmen together at the North end of the campus. So no worries there. He’s not interested in one of the special program houses, which are the only not-entirely-freshmen housing options available to freshmen. So… he’ll be surrounded by tons of freshman no matter how many people share his room. </p>

<p>Also I’ll say that he’s had (albeit in a very different context) the experience of sharing intimate living space with others through several years of overnight camp, and now as a camp counselor. So I don’t think he necessarly “needs” a roommate situation to have that particular growing up experience. I actually found the negotiation more necessary when I moved off-campus into an apartment and had to agree on kitchen and cleaning rules with my housemates.</p>

<p>He’s not sure what he wants. My H wants him to get a single. I don’t have strong feelings either way. H’s only year in a double was not a great experience. I was never in a double, but my first year was in an “interconnected” room (I had to walk through my roommate’s room to get to mine; we had a door separating us but I had no door to the hall.) I was never particularly friendly with my “roommate” though we got along fine. Also I was in mixed-years housing (all years in one house) and I liked it. (Freshmen were in interconnecting rooms and everyone else got singles.) It was frankly a bit quieter than the all-freshman housing, and made it easy to find someone who had already passed the class you were struggling with who would be willing to help. Most of my closest friends ended up being classmates in my major, but I did make some great friends in the dorm too.</p>

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<p>That doesn’t always help. My S was sexiled multiple times a week as a freshman while his roommate entertained the flavor of the week (or day–this guy was quite active). He often fell asleep in the lounge, but then slept through his morning classes. It took most of the semester before he got up the nerve to tell the roommate he wasn’t leaving the room (roommate was a jock with lots of jock friends), but by then it was too late. He failed his two morning classes. This year, S had a single in the fall and a less “popular” roommate this semester, and things were much better.</p>

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<p>Son spent first year in a triple with no problems. In his dorm, a triple is like a three bedroom studio apartment.</p>

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<p>An important point is that at Cornell there are many singles. There is no anti social stigma attached.
DS1 had a single freshman year and it was perfect for him. There are enough adjustments to college without having adding "living with someone I can’t stand."He had lots of friends, and he lived in a double sophomore year and then two years in apartments with friends. DS2 will choose a double next year, but will live with a close friend, so there is no anxiety (for him or me!). He also has 8 years of camp under his belt, as a camper and a counselor, which is a huge plus, in my view.
There is a thread somewhere on CC with roommate horror stories and if you read that, the decision will be easy! :-)</p>

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<p>lol, although I’m sure there are just as many “my roommate became my BFF, best man, godparent to my children, etc.” stories too ;-)</p>

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<p>My S is in a double on a floor of doubles. The dorm is for freshman engineering students, so they have similar classes and interests. They crowd into each other’s rooms, so at times it’s much more than a double.</p>

<p>S enjoys that kind of thing, and 6 of them are getting a suite for next year.</p>

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<p>mathmom, I’m sure there are, but they are not nearly as entertaining!</p>

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<p>D1 enjoyed her single at Cornell also. She ended up being best friend with her someone across the hall from her. They left their doors open when they wanted to chat, so it was like having a roommate. I think D1’s room was like 9 x 6, the tinniest single they had in that dorm, but it had character with slanted roof.</p>

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<p>Which dorm was that in, oldfort?</p>

<p>@redshoes :D</p>

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<p>Clara Dickson. Their singles vary in size.</p>

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<p>I think it may be worthwhile to note that what is meant by a “single” or a “double” varies at different schools. At some schools, rooms are arranged in suites, with several bedrooms and a common area. There may be a bathroom within the suite, or several suites may share a bathroom. So a (lucky) student may have a single bedroom, but be within a suite of several kids. My son right now is in a five-person suite that has three singles and a double, as well as a common area. At the same school, some freshman suites have two double bedrooms and a common area. This is quite different from a typical long hall with a bunch of bedrooms lined up and a bathroom at the end. You have to really understand the configurations at the different schools.</p>

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<p>Cornell seems to have all of the above, but you have no control over which you end up with.</p>

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<p>First off, I think a triple (as in 3 kids in one room) would be bad. So forget that.</p>

<p>1 vs 2 in a room has pros and cons for each. Therefore, in the absence of any compelling reason for a single (such as medical condition), I suggest you put in for a double as it is cheaper. The quality of the roommate is a luck of the draw so just take your chances.</p>

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<p>^^^Agreed. Do we remember when our kids were little, it was always better to have playdate with even number instead of odd number of kids (I read that in a book). When there are 3, it is very easy for someone to be left out.</p>

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<p>My vote goes to a single within a suite. My son has it this year (suite of 8) and will have it again next year (suite of 4). Each suite has a multi-shower/sink/commode bathroom, small kitchen and common living area. You get the best of both worlds - companionship when you want it - meals, going out, etc. - but you also have the privacy of a single bedroom for sleeping, studying, etc. I highly recommend this configuration.</p>

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I agree this is great if you can get it–even a double bedroom in this kind of setup isn’t bad–you can sleep in the shared common room if you are sexiled–much better than the lounge in a hall of 40 people.</p>

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<p>I was in a triple this year, and honestly, it was not good, but bearable…</p>

<p>The room itself was very nice - it was built as a triple, so there was PLENTY of room, and we had our own bathroom.</p>

<p>But the two other roommates had signed up to room together (knew each other before school started), and for whatever reason the school decided to put me in with them. And for whatever reason, they decided to completely shut me out from the start. And then the floor I ended up on was WEIRD itself - for some reason it was a very small floor and mostly members of a sports team, who formed one “clique”, and then the rest of them were another “clique” with my roommates as ring leaders…so basically I had no place on my floor, and while most freshmen were making great friends in their dorm, I was a total outcast and really struggled, especially first semester. But this was just an odd combination of circumstances - most floors aren’t anything like this, I just got unlucky, I guess.</p>

<p>The other thing I disliked about being in a triple was that, at least with my roommates, they stayed out all night and slept all day. So while I was trying to maintain a normal sleeping schedule (with a medical condition that means I need a lot more sleep than the average person), the traffic of people coming in and out of the dorm, lights on and off, all through the odd hours of the night and keeping me up was very frustrating. But thats just college, I guess</p>

<p>But it could definitely be worse - my roommates weren’t outright rude to me, just ignored me - there werent any fights or anything. And this situation forced me to make more friends outside my dorm and meet other people. I’ve always been a VERY shy person, so this was really, really difficult, but going out of my comfort zone was a good thing to do I guess. And at the same time, being in a triple sort of diffused the awkwardness of not knowing each other at the beginning. Also, because there were more of us, there seemed to be more courtesy/respect for the room as a common space(ie we agreed no sexiling.</p>

<p>Even though I wish I had been in a double this year (and I still have no clue why the housing committee decided to put two people who knew each other in with a random???), things could have been a whole lot worse. One bad roommate is worse than two okay roommates. </p>

<p>Overall, though, I’m very happy that I’ll be living in a single suite next year…</p>

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<p>I just want to add that as a parent, I am willing to pay the premium for a single. I know many college students who have had bad college experiences - mostly roommate related. Roommate issues can impact your sleep and your ability to study. I am 100% happy to pay the extra money each year for a single. As an adult - I find the whole notion of asking anyone to share a tiny room with a complete stranger quite ridiculous. Of course, I did it myself back in the day - with various results. Had a single only senior year and that was the best option. We didn’t have the suite configurations back then - it was hall style. But my feeling is that if you can get a single - go for it.</p>

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<p>i agree with rockvillemom. i think we need to rethink/restructure the whole dorming idea altogether. </p>

<p>why do we still do this in our universities?</p>

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<p>I’m not sure I buy that living with a roommate is that much of a growing experience anyway. What are you supposed to learn from it that is transferable into any other situation in life OTHER than sharing a tiny space with a complete stranger, something you are never likely to have to do again? It’s not as though living with a roommate is the only way to learn how to compromise and deal with difficult people, and if so many students are arriving at college without those skills I think that’s a pretty serious problem in and of itself-- and no wonder so many people end up with crappy roommates! Those kinds of things should be learned BEFORE that child is inflicted upon another in a college dorm situation. And more often than not, the kids that don’t have those skills walk around ruling the roost, leaving messes and driving everyone nuts, and there are no consequences. Completely unnecessary. Just because something is tradition doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.</p>