<p>is that why there is no record of the celebration?</p>
<p>best not to ‘recount’,…hardehar</p>
<p>who’s got the last laugh, roro?</p>
<p>Take yer gosh-dern pollerticks and skeedaddle on outta here, 'fore I put some lead in yer britches!! :D</p>
<p>Who let that hillbilly in here? We have standards! (No, we don’t.) ;)</p>
<p>I am in a great mood today! Drinks all around, no limit!</p>
<p>Ixnay on the olitixpay…</p>
<p>Plenty of other avenues in parent cafe for that, often with a high dose of caffine.</p>
<p>Full disclosure: I have fallen off the wagon. Will retake the pledge, probably some time after all the recounts are complete.</p>
<p>sluggy-
you are right-- marmots are welcome, vermin are not. Lets pour some of that “high class” bourbon. Set’em up, Joe.</p>
<p>The joys of sharing a fence project with a 96-year old neighbor…</p>
<p>OldBagNeighbor: I called to tell you that YOUR fence is leaning over on MY side. </p>
<p>We share the fence, but it sits on our property. This is no ordinary fence. It’s a fence on top of a retaining wall with a below-ground fill and drainage system on our side to keep water from building up next to the wall. We did a landscaping overall 15 years ago and replaced the old dilapidated fence with a new retaining wall and a new fence. Total cost: $11,000 (just for the fence), to which she contributed zero.</p>
<p>Sluggerz: Okay, thanks for letting me know. Note to self: Add OBN’s phone number to the privacy manager screening list. </p>
<p>OldBagNeighbor: YOU need to fix that fence before it falls on someone!</p>
<p>Sluggerz: Who could it fall on? It’s next to a ditch and a 6-foot tall row of thorny shrubs.</p>
<p>OldBagNeighbor: Well, it might fall on SOMEONE, and you need to fix it!</p>
<p>Sluggerz: Fine, I’ll contact our fence guy. </p>
<p>A week ago, they dug up one of her camelias and drove a backhoe through her backyard to get to the fence. This was all discussed beforehand, and we agreed in writing to make any necessary repairs and replacements. She’s getting a brand new $9,000 fence (we replaced just the half of the fence that was leaning), plus some new landscaping, and yet, she finds something to complain about every day. </p>
<p>$9,000 covers a year of fees & tuition at UC Davis. $9,000 covers six months of rent for our daughter at UCSC. I’m not interested in hearing anyone complain about a free fence. </p>
<p>Pour me a tall, cold one. 
Here’s to jmmom’s cool new job!</p>
<p>Hold on to your hats everyone the “Could Could Dancers” are about to take to the stage… :eek: or as my dear mother would say “Tunderin blazes what’s all that racket”… ( the ancient pensioned off dancers from the Folies Bergere seem to have taken up residence in attic, cover your drinks during rehearsals as the dust really shakes down from the ceiling fans :rolleyes:) .</p>
<p>Forget jmmom’s cool new <em>volunteer</em> job. I’m picturin’ rakin’ in the big bucks with my day job, courtesy of the SluggFamily. I’m going to sell them a big old farmhouse on 40 wooded acres in Maine. No more EvilNeighbor problems. No further investment in fence enhancements to satisfy OldBagNeighbor’s whimsies. So what if SluggJr falls out of in-state tuition parameters? Cheap at the price.</p>
<p>Tell me, slugg. Is indoor plumbing on your “must-have” list, or just a nice amenity if we happen to find it?</p>
<p>All-rightie now. A new topic fraught with fun stories. Crabby neighbor stories. Have a friend whose tree fell over in his (friend’s) yard, damaging the (shared) fence. Part of the tree did land in the neighbors yard on the edge of their property, in an area that was fairly “natural” (non-landscaped). Crabby neighbor called to complain about how dreadfully unsightly the tree looked in friend’s yard, and how they’d better get rid of it and fix it ASAP. Neighbor was uninterested/unwilling to contribute to the cost of fixing the fence, was unwilling to contribute to the cost of removing the tree, and would not allow the repair people to come onto his property, lest they damage the wonderful natural look of the unlandscaped area. So, friend had that portion of the tree removed that was in his yard and fixed the fence, but cut off and left the remaining part of the tree “au natural” in neighbor’s yard, since crabby neighbor did not give permission to set foot in the lovely non-landscaping. This led to a series of unkind gestures between the two neighbors (can you say PETTY???)</p>
<p>In our old neighborhood, a retired couple (sweet, religious wife who held bible study classes and bull-headed retired military officer husband) did what they felt were “improvements” in their yard. This included putting several very large solar panels of the front roof of their house, taking down a bunch of trees on the side and in the back of their house to pave a large cement driveway and parking pad for their very large RV. They found that it was difficult to maneuver that big a$$ sucker up and down the driveway (on a hill) so chose instead to keep it parked in the front yard. Occasionally they’d run power cords to the thing from the house and have some relative live in there for a while (with the curtains open!) Unfortunately the neighborhood covenants had expired, so there was little neighbors could do, other than to appeal to his sensibility (HA!), address the code violations from the runoff caused by the construction of the parking pad and for having someone live in that thing. Neighbors suggested that he park it (for free) on the nearby military reserve base, where there is secured parking for these monsters. Nope. Too inconvenient for him. Didn’t care what the neighbors thought. He didn’t think it was “unsightly” or detracting from the looks or home values of the nice suburban neighborhood. Told the neighbors they were “incoherent” when they met to discuss the alternative parking options. Lovely gentleman… (grrr). In the meantime, another neighbor found themselves somehow on the mailing list for some rather raunchy brown-wrapped catalog full of s-x toys, benwah balls, penile rings, self-improvement gizmos for erectile problems, etc etc. There was a form in the back where one could request copies of the catalog to be sent to others who wanted to be added to their mailing list :). The generous neighbors not only did the “neighborly” thing of adding the crabby neighbor to the mailing list, but <em>kindly</em> shared the original one that came in the mail with them. I believe it was at their front door the afternoon of one of the bible study meetings. I believe several impotence-correction devices might have been sent as lovely holiday gifts, in appreciation of his <em>kindness</em>.
Not sure whatever happened. We were some of the many who moved (put the house on the market and sold it when they were on the road with that @#$%%^ RV.)</p>
<p>driiiiiiiiver! driiiiiiiiver! Anyone seen that red dog? Surely she needs a double shot of bourbon to cure that hangover. Barkeep!</p>
<p>Jmmom: acreage is no guaranty of lack of hassle. We lived on 20 acres, you’d think that even if your neighbor was a wacko, you’d never have to see him…nope! Mr crazy neighbor decided no one who didn’t live on the road could drive on the road and no one on horseback should dare to ride down the road. He eventually began brandishing a weapon (yes, loaded pistol! :eek:) Always nice at the holidays when Grandma comes to visit to have a odd man with a gun greeting her on the road! Finally he made the mistake of firing it in the sky whilst threatening riders, one of whom was the wife of the sheriff. Finally some action and he eventually sold and move on to terrorize a new group.</p>
<p>Hmm, he did have a motor home? What if all our stories are the same wacko just movin’ on???</p>
<p>hey somemom–
Did he have a supply of funny catalogs in brown paper and assorted s-x toys? :D</p>
<p>ps- ya talkin’ to me, jmmom or both?</p>
<p>Never fear, Parents of Kids from Hades (PKH’s)! Make an offering to the gods of the hot tub, and I shall give you my sworn testimonial on how kids (okay, just my kid)…who sleepwalk into closets and seem to be doing everything in their power NOT to get into college actually end up getting there and loving it. No, really!</p>
<p>Believe me, I know how hard this is to believe when just one “F” on the first quarter senior report card is good news, a current indicator of academic improvement. Comments from just one teacher that he “doesn’t do homework,” “does not study for tests,” and “could make better use of class time,” are eh – not so bad! High fives all around! Why don’t they just rubber stamp the report card with SENIORITIS and save the data storage server space? Now that I think about it, this would be a useful and productive job for a senior parent volunteer. Therapeutic, too. :::::grrrr::::STAMP::::grumble:::STAMP::::: :)</p>
<p>It is the last year that you’ll hear the eff-word used in conjunction with the following words, “I/We can’t wait 'til (I/you) move out and don’t have to live here anymore!” It is the last year that you’ll have to hide your purse or your electric shaver. </p>
<p>Miracles do happen, and after the first month away from home, you’ll get one of those phone calls that make you wonder about the alien who has taken over your college student. After the second chatty phone call, you’ll start to get over that old playground paranoia of being offered a Chinese finger trap. </p>
<p>Hey, stick your fingers in here. No, it’s okay, go ahead. …Hahahahaha! </p>
<p>It won’t seem like such a freakish cosmic accident that your college kid has just called to tell you about his next quarter classes or his new job at the radio station or kayaking on the bay with his girlfriend at sunset. It is a plus that they weren’t attacked by a pair of marauding Great White sharks or sucked out under the Golden Gate Bridge. </p>
<p>Was it worth a trip through the Heart of Darkness, a.k.a college applications, with a senior who ended the year as a College Board AP Scholar and a National Merit Semi-Finalist, but deliberately blew off homework and tests all year long? Was it worth a year of dark motives, barbaric thoughts, and firsthand experiences with man’s potential for duplicity…</p>
<p>We love you, son, but OH–SH%! Another progress report! </p>
<p>Was it worth the struggle between good and evil, nagging and knowing when to zip it? In the face of unspeakable horrors, was it okay to hold onto tiny glimmers of hope that college was only a year away? Sure, it was!</p>
<p>I have no wisdom, here, except that it gets a lot better after they’re out of the house. Keep the faith, keep believing in them. Be 1 percent Godzilla, 99 percent wine-guzzling Mr. Rogers. :)</p>
<p>somemom-
I just reread your post. Got it! that loonytune has been ALL our neighbors.
And sluggy-- Can I politely request the readers digest version of your last post, with an explanation. I must be dimmer than usual today-- I lost ya.</p>
<p>Sorry, jym. 
:::tapping on my Corona::::</p>
<p>Post #4475 is lovingly dedicated to the moms and dads of high school seniors who just got their first round of progress reports and are in the thick of writing essays for college admissions. It’s basically a compilation of what went on in the slugghouse last year.</p>
<p>ROTFLOL somemom and jym on the horrible neighbor stories! :D</p>
<p>Jmmom, yes on the indoor plumbing, please. ;)</p>
<p>Jym:</p>
<p>Well, jmmom started it with the suggestion of buying acreage, but I am over 40, so I cannot really recall details well, therefore any one with a J name will do for me, and I likley think I am tallking to oldtimer Jamimom!!! I am also willing to split the commission on said Sluggy acreage with jmmom! I think it must be a moist environment to allow for fourishing of Sluggs, so perhaps the Pacific Northwes…don’t know about the environment in Maine, but there are big ole Texas-sized slugs in WA, 5-6 inches long, some slimy greenish-grey & some Black…as in they just oozed out of the black lagoon, I think! So, add some small dogs & feral cats & the whole slug clan will feel right at home. </p>
<p>BTW- I will have you know I never got close enough to that old bugger (;)) to know anything about his s-x toys, thank you vedy much!</p>
<p>I too am in mourning for driver today. However, I believe I see her motorcycle boots under the table in the corner. I trust we will see her return all full of p*** and vinegar. In fact, let’s save her a place in the hot tub.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I understand we are scheming to move Slugg away from her neighbor pod people? OK. She needs acreage. She needs indoor plumbing. Unfortunately for my ability to help in this process, I don’t think Shanghai is the answer, despite its pretty good indoor plumbing. How’d you like to have 200 million neighbors:). However, we can do slime here, and some dogs and cats, and mosquitoes. </p>
<p>As long as Slugg has access to the Internet, I support any efforts to take care of her neighbor issues however. I sense she may be necessary to get me through the next year and a half of my son’s high school career.</p>
<p>And, on a celebratory note unrelated to the temporary demise of the Snarks (see the why it’s fun to be a Republican thread), guess what. My S’s high school soccer team won their league championship in two nail-biters, one of which included a goal by said S. I am trying to substitute the adrenaline from sports wins for the endorphins that the D who ate high school used to bring me, but, as the snobby intellectual that I am (if not snarky), it’s tough. Oh well. Love him to death anyway…And looking forward to the passage as Slugg describes it…</p>
<p>Alu I have a young friend who is in Shanghai for the year and tells me it is a very surreal experience.</p>
<p>slinking in completely <em>wounded</em> from just <em>reading</em> some of the political threads…</p>
<p>someone pour me something <em>really</em> strong <em>really</em> quickly…*hands reaching out hopefully"…</p>