<p>Ta-ta-dah!!! (my two talking grandchildren’s version of ta-dah)…</p>
<p>The original anouncement, from the June 7 Spokesman-Review:</p>
<p>"The Slice: We Marmots must stand together</p>
<p>Paul Turner
The Spokesman-Review
June 7, 2007
Maybe what Spokane needs is a vibrant new fraternal organization.
With that in mind, I’ve been thinking of forming the Marmot Lodge.
Based loosely on the Raccoon Lodge made famous by Jackie Gleason and Art Carney in “The Honeymooners,” this group’s official name could be the International Order of Loyal Marmots or the International Order of Friendly Sons and Daughters of the Marmots.
The exact name would be less important than our mission: “To identify ways in which Spokane is screwed up and figure out what to do about it while enjoying adult beverages.”
There would be bylaws, officers, arcane rites, modest dues and Marmot hats. Members would address one another as “Brother Marmot” or “Sister Marmot.”
We would have an oath and a secret handshake.
Leaving your cell phone on during meetings would earn you the designation “roadkill.”
Our motto, again borrowing from “The Honeymooners,” would be “E Pluribus Marmot.”
OK, I realize fraternal orders have not exactly thrived in recent decades. But I ask you this: Are you satisfied with the amount and quality of fellowship you currently experience? Probably not.
…But the Marmot Lodge would be different. We wouldn’t just talk about Spokane’s problems. No, we’d talk about them and then talk about them some more.
Did I mention enjoying adult beverages?"</p>
<p>Here’s another blurb from the July 10 issue:</p>
<p>“Marmot Lodge update: A fresh batch of membership applications burrowed into The Slice mailbox Thursday and Friday. These new additions to the rolls of the International Order of Friendly Marmots shall henceforth be known as Perkypine, Tubby, Mama Sarah, PD Blaster, Marmot Hugger, Cat Nest, Pack Marmot No. 2, Toaster, Bacon, Cheddar, Juan Lucky, Gunnut, Little Marmot, Henna, Rigby, Mama Nanda, Chuck (2), Marmlover, Gaber the Gamer, Starr, Buckshot Bob, Murray, Golfer, Tweet, Sam, Chewie, Mother Marmot, Mossy Mo, Addie Mae, Rock Chuck, Mazzie, Chim-chim, Podo, Gabi and Ted.”</p>
<p>And here’s part of the article that caught my eye from Sunday’s paper:</p>
<p>“Marmots have grand plans in their sights
…Applications came from all over the newspaper’s circulation area…it seemed like females outnumbered males 6-4. The average age of the founding Marmots appeared to be in the high 50s.
Mother Marmot listed her age as 106, “in marmot years”
That notwithstanding, Spunky Granny appeared to be the oldest applicant, at 94.
A couple of 6-year-olds tied for youngest, though 8-year-old Gaber the Gamer might have been the youngest who did most of his own paperwork.
‘Dear Mr. Turner. I am 8 years old. Sometimes I go to Riverfront Park and have seen marmots. Since I am on summer vacation and do not have much to do, I will join your lodge’
…Marmlover suggested that we all get rub-on marmot tattoos.
Juan Lucky said our motto could be,‘we-ooo, that was close!’
…But Hellion, a sister marmot in Spokane, expressed optimism about whatever we decide to do. ‘I am quite excited about the possibilities for grass-roots growth’…In any event, Ground Hog over in Grand Coulee is ready to get together. ‘I can hardly wait for the first convention,’ she wrote.”</p>
<p>Other Marmot members include Brigitte Marmot (pronounced Mar-mo), Lady Marmo-Lade, Brother Filbert, and Dawber Mushmouse. Oh, and Digger, from Post Falls, ID, says ‘I am only doing this to marmot-up my resume.’ Sounds like a true CC scion!!!</p>
<p>The cool thing is that all these marmot brothers and sisters have contributed about $600 to the Spokane Humane Society.</p>
<p>How to join? I missed that part; maybe we can email the columnist: <a href="mailto:pault@spokesman.com">pault@spokesman.com</a></p>
</p>
We bow down. Bike: you must DIE!</p>